It’s Friday and you know what that means: Sheep are fucking dumb and Rawdog’s car is a pile of shit. There was talk about making a new Rawdog t-shirt, and you know that’s a fucking killer idea so hopefully that actually happens. I even came up with concept t-shirt that I’d totally wear. See it over there on the right? No dude, click on it. It’s right there. ==> Other ideas came in, such as “Free Rawdog” (like Free Willy), “Where’s My Trust Fund”, “Welcome To The Jigga-Budda-Boo Show”, “Feed Rawdog” (like Paris Hilton holding her dog but with Ellis’ face on Paris and Rawdog’s face on the dog), and of course “Godwar”. There were more but I’m already tired of typing t-shirt slogans, so let’s just keep pushing forward.

Ashanti. I just wanted to say that I typed her name once in my lifetime. Plus it sounds funny, almost like a cute swear word or something. Anyway, enough about her. Also, The Oscars. And also, enough about them too. Fuckin’ Oscars are fuckin’ stupid. Hey, here’s a totally disturbing picture of a hairless bear. Fuck that thing too, after all it is Who Gives a Fuck Friday. Flibbertigibbet. Just wanted to type that too, sorry. Moving on…

From Tully’s Bullshit news segment, an 8 year-old got a sex change, some dude got arrested for having kids spit, piss, and shit on him, and some unlucky chick in Texas got shot, from a gun fired in Mexico! The first two stories are fucked up, the bitch that caught some lead – that’s fucking awesome (as long as it doesn’t happen to me.) A 20 ton boulder fell on some dudes car and he lived. He’s a couple inches shorter, but he lived. Okay, that last part I totally made up, he’s not shorter – or is he?

More Cumtard torture today, he had to make some “shocking” confessions – so you should totally read into that. Shocking is the key word there in case you’re a total moron. And if you are a total moron, then read this next sentence: Fuck! He’s getting shocked you fool, I don’t know how you even exist. Okay, back to shocking confessions:

• When he was a little kid, he did some gay shit a couple times. His mom put him in daycare, he was 4 or 5 and he bit some kids nuts. We’re talking pants down and teeth to bald nuts. Disturbing.
• He said when his whole family would be over at the house, he used to hide behind the curtains and punch his boner. Creepy.
• At summer camp when he was around 6 or 7 he and another kid got out of their sleeping bags and touched each others wieners. Shocking.

It’s Friday, I’m bringing this thing to an end, and I’m calling your mother to come over so I can take a dump on her chest. OH!