Tag Archives: UnderwearWolf

Show Re-cap For Monday 7/2/2012

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I know what you are all thinking, where is @bitPimps? Why isn’t he doing the re-caps? Let me tell you all something you probably didn’t know, @bitPimps is a Russian Spy. I was surprised also, but apparently he has been caught by the US Government and is being interrogated as we speak. So for the time being I will be bringing you the Jason Ellis Show re-caps. Somebody fucked with the voice altemicationator and allegedly someone is possibly maybe ripping off The Ellis Show. I think that is cute that they think that this chow can be reproduced, you go ahead and try, but know this, we will crush you. The A6K is still having issues, this time with brakes and fire. So instead of going camping with the kids, Ellis and Katie took them to a kid friendly hotel with a big ass awesome pool with slides and shit. Ellis brought fifty for the kids, the sun block not the dog, and Fifty ran off, the dog not the sunblock, but he was found. I’m pretty sure Fifty never wore the fifty because that would be weird to put sunblock on a dog. And then there was talk about the X-Games. It went as so, bla bla bla X-Games, bla bla vert ramp, bla bla bla, Jamie Bestwick, bla bal hahahaha.

Ellis showed Josh his road rash ion his dick that he got from blue balling some girl and he was worried because it hasn’t gone away yet. As expected, the EllisFam came through and recommended some great products to try out for chaffed dick. Some of them were Bag Balm, Gold Bond, Butt Paste, Vagisil, WD-40, bacon grease. Come to think of it, only a few people were helpful, the rest have some really odd masturbation habits. It seems the Gold Bond worked best for Ellis, nothin better than a little powder on your hang low. Pitbull, the rapper not the dog, is going to the Walmart with the highest number of “likes” and currently the location in Kodiak Alaska is winning, so lets keep a good thing going.

Doing Things With Rawdog made a comeback today, and as always Doc Bangar didn’t fail to amaze. He was asked things like “What do you do in a power outage?” “How do you toss a salad?” “How do you light a barbeque?” and so on and so forth. The answers that were given were those that only a six year old could think up, given example, “How do you clean a catfish?” and his answer, “Why do you have to clean them? They’re already in water.” Go ahead, read that again. Its truly amazing. The Hardluck Kings made a custom guitar for Tully with the Wolfknives logo on it. And then there were final calls. The final calls were actually good, not the usual disappointment that we have come to expect, yer mum however, is the exact disappointment that we expect from a street walking STD wagon, OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 6/29/2012

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Ronnie Faisst

Happy WGAFF mofo’s! The guys, along with @UnderwearWolf and @TheDingoInSnow, are at the X Games so that’s where they did the show from today. Apparently while the show was on, it was a pretty big sausage fest – one would assume because it’s too early for whores to be up, like vampires, they’re active at night. Also, since Ellis comes from the X Games world and is friends with so many people in that world, this is going to be jam packed with name drops. The first guests on the show were Ronnie Faisst (@ronniefaisst) and Diogo Simoes (@diogosimoes1) as they were watching some step-up moto practice. As you could imagine, being at the X Games, it’s hard to take callers and read twitter so interaction was pretty limited. It doesn’t make for the greatest of radio shows, but hearing Faisst say that he doesn’t touch his weiner because Jesus doesn’t approve was pretty fuckin’ hilarious.

Carey Hart

Next on the show was Carey Hart (@hartluck) talking about how he hurt his back and his hand recently and this will be his last X Games, but he will continue other shit like the Dew Tour and racing trucks. He says he just can’t keep up, he’s getting older and getting hurt more so it’s time, but he will continue to ride on his own, just not compete. He also jacks off at times even though he’s still getting play from his wife, Pink (@Pink). Next up was Jamie Bestwick (@jamiebestwick), all of you should be very familiar with him because Ellis loved doing unfavorable impressions of him for almost a year straight. I think one of the most entertaining parts of his interview was when he called it a “Teeyoter” instead of “Toyota” and “Tuckson” Arizona instead of “Tucson”, gotta love those Brits. Poor Rawdog was getting teased, in a friendly way, from all the guys about his eating habits and how deep his belly button is, due to chicken nugget breakfasts and hamburger dinners.

Brian Deegan

Let’s see, who’s next… Brian Deegan (@mmgeneral) and him talking about how his spleen or kidney or both split like a hotdog and he’s always wondered if they just didn’t need a spare and took his. We finally got to hear Rawdog call out what he was watching, a la JagerBeard, but completely sober and not in character – which is very similar. Ellis asked Bry Like A Deegan what he thought about Ken Block while they were talking rally. Not one to beat around the bush much, Deegles says Ken is a good driver, a great marketer, but not so much of a racer. Mitchie Brusco (@Mitchiebrusco84) was next up on the show, he’s that 15 year-old skater kid that called a 900 number or some shit. They kind of grilled him too, in a friendly way as well, and he seemed to take everything in stride and with a really good attitude, so that’s pretty cool of little dude. It’s speculated he could take Rawdog in a fight too. Still, as cool and accomplished as he is at such a young age, it’s weird to hear a 15 year-old on the show, but I get it.

Hooters chicks

Hooter’s girls stopped by to bring some wings for the guys, low and behold, Ellis recognized both of them from the pageant he had just previously judged. In case you missed the pageant, one of those chicks (the hot one maybe? not that one, the other one) said it re-airs this Sunday, but she’s a woman so who knows if that’s true or not. I mean, we all know women don’t know shit from apple butter. Cullen (@Cullensaidthis) was nice enough to snap and share a photo of @imVictoriaBrown and some other chick named Afton Storton or something. Robbie Maddison (@robbiemaddison) came on the show and said he had just did a stunt in an upcoming James Bond film, but couldn’t talk about it. When asked what’s the furthest he’s jumped, his answer was “I don’t know”. So there ya go kiddies, watch out for those concussions! And like Bestwick, we get to make fun of his foreigner speech habits, as he called a “Mercedes” a “Merseedies”.

And finally, Manny Santiago (@Mannyslaysall) and Twitch (@twitchthis) were the last ones to stop by the show. And of course Twitch and Ellis had to express their undying love for one another as only two crazy fuckers can. By pulling down their pants and pressing each half of their gay love tattoo on their legs together to form the love bond and insulting one another as much as possible. Holy shit rope! Was that not a star packed re-cap or what? You know what’s funny about all those names listed above? It doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of the full list of famous, not famous, homeless, and down right disgusting people your mom has filled her putrid fuckhole with. OH!

Your mom thanking Spiderman when she was way younger

Show Re-cap For Monday 6/11/2012

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It’s Monday

How-do my fine young cannibal folk? It’s Monday, nobody likey Monday unless it’s their first day of vacation, but even then – Monday’s just an asshole so it can still suck a herpes infested dick. And just so you know, I could use a picture of a herpes infected dick, but I won’t do that to you, not today at least – today you get Bugs Bunny in prison. We all know this next fact, but the Swinghouse studio is falling apart. It seems like every week there’s a new fiasco in that shitheep, and today was something to do with the voice altermication machine, according to Slick Shins Willy (that’s right, I’m using a new name for Shiney Shins Pendarvis for today) it was a bypass button that should have been checked prior to the show, but wasn’t. See? Slick Shins Willy does come to the rescue for fans as well as the talent. Ellis took a half black shit today so he’s thinking he might have internal bleeding, my initial diagnosis is maybe he’s shitting out evil, because evil is typically black in the movies. Ellis wants to shave off his beard now because the person he grew it for (I assume Katie) hates him (according to him) so he wants it off his face.

Get rid of your cock breath!

Today is make-out party day with hot chicks, they’re quickly trying to find a third chick to participate because one of the original girls set to appear missed her flight because she got roofied. Red Dragons!? One of the chicks coming in is Alexis Ford (@alexisford), a Penthouse Pet of The Month, and the same chick from New York whose button is her talking about “the loads coming down”, meaning the load in her butt. A caller chimed in to say that he’s seen her suck dick and so maybe they should think twice about making out with her, but as Tully said, your mom has sucked a dick and you still kiss her. Plus, they make after dick mints, so it’s all good. The other chick, which was kind of a surprise to the listeners until she came in for her turn in the contest, was Sparky (@Sparky_Fett)! Yes, the one and only chick that Rawdog banged twice with one condom! RawDerp, knowing he’s supposed to make-out with hot chicks today, decided it would be a good idea to not take a fucking shower today – but he did go to the dentist this morning and shaved his facial hair (as did Ellis) so I guess that’s about the best one could hope for.

Alexis’s boobs just about fell out.

For the contest, Rawdog will be known as “Fisty LaRue” and Ellis will be known as “Acockolypse Now” and during this segment, the chicks are blindfolded and have to guess who they are making out with. Alexis kissed Fisty LaRue first and immediately afterwards said “I hope contestant #2 is better”, ouch. Her initial reaction was “the first guy had bigger lips, he didn’t use any tongue at first – like he was nervous or something, and he needs some more work”. Acockolypse Now was next, afterwards she said “he had soft lips, a nice wet mouth, was more passionate, and he used more tongue. He was good, but felt he didn’t give it his all.” After these criticisms from Alexis, the guys went in for another round to see if their make-out techniques had improved. Afterwards, she said kissing Fisty LaRue reminded her of making out in highschool, while she said Acockolypse Now gave her exactly what she wanted. So overall, it sounds like Ellis won that first round.

Sparky could turn Kermit into gaping.

Next to come in blindfolded was Sparky. After kissing Fisty LaRue, she immediately knew who she was kissing, as she’s kissed him before. Her constructive criticism was that he should use a little more tongue, but also said that he had gotten better since their last encounter. Oh, and she grabbed his balls while she was making out with him!  Obviously Ellis was next, she said she liked that he started off slow, and he was very sensual, but she said it seemed like it also lacked passion – I guess like he didn’t go for it more. After criticisms, they went for a second round. For Fisty LaRue, she said it was better, but she still wanted more dedication. So she kissed him for a third time, like the way she wants to be kissed. On Acockolypse Now’s second attempt, not to be outdone by Fisty, she said it was perfect and she was a little speechless afterwards. I think there might have been some slightly illegal touching in there, but you show me in the rule book where it says not pussy patting.

Rawdog getting a kissy in public?

RawDog went out on another date this weekend and started making out with the chick while they were at the bar. He doesn’t really remember much because by that point he had a few drinks, but he thinks she made the first move, however he did go for a titty grab while at the bar and she brushed his hand away. No word yet on if after the girl left, he stopped by a fast food bathroom to whack off. The Pacquiao vs Bradley fight was this weekend, supposedly everyone who knows what they are talking about said Pacquiao won, but the judges disagreed and gave the win to Bradley, oh and boxing is corrupt like politicians are… uh, corrupt. Fuck, that was witty.

Breaking news, Grant “Bubble Tits” Cobb has retired from his illustrious boxing career at Ellismania, therefore the interim musical chair champion (@Butterballs_EM6) get’s his belt back. Spots were also getting chosen today for the musical chair fight, there doesn’t seem to be any shortage of people who want in. Penguins full on practice necrophilia, which is odd because you’d think a dead penguin’s holes would be frozen shut, but hey, what do I know. It’s not like I work for National Geographic or watched Happy Feet 3. Actually, I do know this… You’re mom got dressed up like Cinderella once and do you know what happened when she got to the ball? She gagged. OH!

Your mom has the classiest pictures hanging in her stall in the barn.

Katie Gilbert, movie star? – 5/24/12

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A caller phoned in to “out” Katie as a movie star. It’s true, she had a small role in “The Boys and Girls Guide to Getting Down”. It’s on Netflix streaming if anyone is inclined to watch, but I’ve provided screen caps of the majority of her on-screen time.

katie


Download (link to MP3)

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 5/22/2012

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Swagg, bitches!

Ellis has bush, yup, we’re talking about below the belt – yet he is still the most hairless man, in the studio at least. He also finger blasted a chick in THC’s Porsche and has pissed in a chicks mouth (Katie? She seems nuts enough). There was a weird hissing or air blowing sound that was heard at the beginning of the show, it reminded me of the movie Commando when Arnold Schwarzenegger threw a pipe into a dudes chest and said “Let off some steam Bennett”. Good and/or bad news on the A6K, the West Coast Customs crew said whoever worked on it before, really fucked it up bad. Ellis figured out how to do a mellow version of what the infamous coked out, rubber bands around his shaft guy penetrating himself did. Chris Brown is stepping into the fun zone, I don’t really know what that means – it was just a quote from one of his songs. Let’s just pretend that didn’t just happen, okay?

Pft! I got swagga, bitch!

Shane Carwin (@ShaneCarwin) stopped by the show today with his biggest hands in the UFC, who Ellis has been terrorizing on Twitter like a mofo lately. Enter Carwin to have a tug-of-war with the entire band versus himself, so in case ya’ don’t know, now ya’ know, n-bomb. Turns out that the entire band of Death! Death! Die! is stronger than Carwin as they won the tug-of-war contest, but Ellis got drug around the parking lot when it was one on one time. It’s New Music Tuesday again… Whose pumped up about that? One of you? Anyone? Bueller… Bueller… Bueller. Well Slash had some new tracks out today, and I know I’m probably on my own here, but that dude Myles Kennedy? Yea, I don’t get what the big deal is, I don’t hear “spectacular” when I hear him sing. Oh well. Garbage had some new shit out today, remember them? At any rate, again, New Music Tuesday wasn’t nearly as bad as it used to be – so props to Jessica!

Blaaarrggghhhh!

Finally, there were a few semi-funny callers into the show today, including someone who claimed to be “Christopher”, a friend of Rawdog’s roommate. He said he had a great time a few weekends ago and was hoping they could pick up where they left off – with Rawdog passed out and his cock in “Christopher’s” mouth. Obviously this was fake, but kudos for at least a somewhat entertaining call. I guess overall, the callers today were a little better than they have been for awhile. I mean, except for the few callers that could fit more than 2 dicks in their mouth at the same time. Actually, there was one caller, Michelle, who brought the show to a screeching fucking halt by being a dumb cunt, so Ellis ended the show 10 minutes early. And finally, your mom went to the doctors again, this time she was complaining of stomach cramps. She got sent off for some tests and came back to hear the results. The doctor said to her, “Well, I hope you’re ready for endless sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty nappies!” To which your thrilled mother replied, “Wow, you mean I’m pregnant?” The doctor said, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.” OH!