Everybody knows that when your a kid you don’t fuck with a man. Because he pays taxes and has hair loss and probably a wife that nags him about stupid shit all the time and you don’t fuck with a guy like that. Ellis is having trash can issues with some guy who parked and moved the the trash can so the trash guy can’t get it and started arguing with Ellis about it making everybody in Hollywood look like an asshole. He stepped down before he got free reconstructive facial manipulation and then Ellis started thinking about the situation and how the whole thing was stupid and possibly dangerous. They talked about parking woes for a while. I live in Phoenix, the only parking issues we have here is parking close enough to get into the building before dying of heat exhaustion. Mike Jasper is going to be staying with Ellis and I’m not sure why but this weekend he’s going to take the kids to Lego Land! Kids fucking love Lego’s, almost as much as Linsanity loves stairs. Ellis talked about that Giggles And Hugs place and how it’s perfect for Tully’s kid. Tully talked about how he was on Balboa Peninsula boardwalk and it reminded him of the Jersey Boardwalk only shittier and with lots of rich white guys, old money types with monocles and canes. Rawdog recalled a cherished memory of a family vacation where his dad and step mom argued the entire time. Ellis talked about how he went to a friends house when he was a kid and was blown away that he had Coca-Cola in his fridge! I know, crazy right!?! Cereal in Australia is all boring and shitty too, they don’t even have cereal with crappy little marshmallows in them. Australia, am I right! Burger got her vagina removed yesterday and is bummed, rightly so. Rawdog mentioned that there will soon be genetically modified grapes that taste like cotton candy, what the fuck was wrong with grapes to begin with? Ellis sold his totomotoboatosaki to his ex-brother in law because he hardly uses it anymore and doesn’t see paying for storage if he’s not using it. They talked about how hard some entertainers shuffle to get to the top and stay there and those that don’t, and celebrities that became famous against their will like that tennis dude that partied and played high as fuck.
In Aussie News a sexting scandal involving the head of the Queensland parliament’s ethics committee, Peter Dowling, was ratted out by his mistress. He sent texts and photos of his junk including a shot of his jimmy in a glass of red wine. Mike Jasper (@stujasperMMA) joined the guys in the studio to talk about dead celebrities and decide whether they are in heaven or hell. They started off with Biggie Smalls, he’s in hell because he sold crack to pregnant ladies and kids. And hit Mary J. Blige. JFK is in heaven because he was a sweet president dude who nailed Marilyn Monroe and hung out with the Rat Pack and told Germans he was a jelly doughnut. Kurt Cobain is in hell because he was on smack and killed himself leaving his child with Courtney Love, that heartless bastard. Michael Jackson is in hell according to Jason because of the drugs and leaving the kids thing, but on second thought, he can go to heaven because he probably didn’t mean to. Chris Farley is in heaven, he only hurt himself and didn’t have kids and Jesus really likes the “van by the river” skit. Johnny cash is in hell because he wants to be in hell, Reddragons! Catherine The Great is in heaven because of the shitty horse fucking rumor and its only right. Steve Erwin is in heaven but that mother fuckin stingray is in hell. John Lennon, even though he was a shitty dad, he did pass on a good message to millions so he’s in heaven.
In Shark News they played a news clip of a shark attack off garden island Australia. The
dude was attacked by a Bull Shark and lost his land and leg. I can’t find the attack video but I did find this! Some sports channel is going to start calling the Washington Redskins the Washington football team because a bunch of Indians are upset and think it’s racist. The feather Indians, not the dot Indians. A gay teacher at a catholic girls school got fired after he got married and the kids signed a petition to get him back. A dude in Malibu has a 19 acre ranch with 5 Siberian Tigers in a full enclosure and his asshole neighbors are petitioning that he get rid of them. I bet he lives near Rob Zombie.
Do you want to sing with Death!Death!Die! on Friday night before EllisMania 9? Then on Instagram record yourself singing along to a DDD or Taintstick track and hashtag it EllisMania9 and mention @wolfmate. Lady Gaga did a video practicing the Abramovic Method, but more importantly, she gets naked. Rhonda Rousey is going to be in The Expendables 3 and now it’s reported that she’ll also be in The Fast And Furious 7. Rumors are still not confirmed about her role in Sharknado 2. Robbie Keneval got arrested for a DUI in his motor home. They say he crashed into a couple other motor homes, I say he was trying to jump them drunk off his balls like a true champion! The final calls were a bust and somehow with the most preparation possible, the talk out was still a cluster fuck of retardetry. The only thing more retarded than the final callers was yer mums prom date, tell yer dad I said hi, OH!