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So its the last time you have to give a fuck this week and all you need to do is go back and listen to todays show. You know its a Fucking Classic by the intro and by Ellis admiting he’s not the smartest man in the world. He was smart enough to con Cumtard into testing Nair hair removal on his ballsac, but we’ll get to that later since Cumtard had to run and buy the shit first, and thats why he isn’t the producer of the show. Anyways, lets get to RawDogs dream of receiving oral from Prometheus, how fucking creepy is that? Not as creepy as Ellis chasing his kids around the house in a wig as their “other mommy” and freaking poor Tiggy and Snookie out. Oh that reminded Tully about some male/female couple he saw this weekend battling over who was the mommy, for real! This got the show started on if its worse to have a weird straight parent, or a weird gay parent? Not that gay is weird, but on top of being weird they are gay. We didn’t find the answer out to that, but we did find out a few big names that have struggled with such a task, like one of the dudes that directed The Matrix and Cloud Atlas, the singer from Against Me, and and of course legendary rocker Dave Mustaine. Whatever the situation is, Tullys cool if his wife wants to be a dude. Eiffel Tower and all man thats his best friend. Its just the potential Barry White voice that comes with the hormones that freaks him out the most.
LTIFOOYMWIFH, which means Laugh Til I Fall Out Of Your Mom While Im Fucking Her….you had to be there! Whoever was their at the studios before the show is into some creepy shit. Tully came across some legal pad with a To-Do list on it that was left behind in the studio. What was on it? Shit like “Buy fuck pinata” and “DVR Boston Legal”, sick right! Well we never found out what a fuck pinata is, and we don’t give a fuck about Boston Anal, but we did get a new sweet website out of the deal (Only if your 18 of course). We did find out that yesterdays trial producer Valerie left behind some perfect audio for pranking your friends. Don’t believe me, just ask Sluggo or Katie, both of whom were put up to the task. Sluggo wasn’t phased one bit, but Katie on the other hand may have been a little flustered by the whole deal. She ended up calling back and scaring Rawdog half to death with a few N-bombs that were all out of love. Speaking of N-bombs I love, Obama was on the Jay Leno show and it was a hoot. He shared tales of driving a Chevy Volt and how he isn’t allowed a cellphone, hilarious shit. Meanwhile Axl Rose was on the Jimmy Kimmel show and he really showed up. Axl has a Halloween tree that he uses to mind fuck other kids in the neighborhood, kinda cool. Check out either of those two videos if you’d like, but you must check out and vote for this years 2012 Reverse Awards. One note on this years awards, Joe Simpson (Nominee for “Least Rapey Celebrity Father”) has filed for divorce after allegedly coming out of the closet to his family, in case that changes your mind in any way. Nothing changes when it comes to how much fibromyalgia sucks, and how difficult it is to spell. Morgellons is another disease that is both hard to spell and fucking sucks, but is it even real? Tully told us something that isn’t real, well over exaggerated at least, Japanese dudes don’t all sniff school girl panties purchased at a near by vending machine. Man that Tully is one polite muther fucker, unlike the 10% of celebrities that tweet or instagram while taking a shit. Celebrities like Queen Latifah, Naughty By Nature, Michael Tully, The Fugees all of whom of from the
shitty great state of New Jersey…………and then the “Coolest Man In The World” walked into the studio:
Fuck yeah thats the RZA! He stopped by to promote his new movie that comes out November 2nd, The Man With The Iron Fists. RZA has been working on his comedy and staying of the pot ninja, oh and this movie since 2006. He’s pumped, Ellis Tully and Rawdog are pumped, the soundtrack is on steroids, get it up ya! Russell Crowe is in the movie, but unfortunately his band didn’t make the cut for the soundtrack. Crowedog had to study the late Ol’ Dirty Bastard for his role in the movie which is odd and intriguing. Enough about the movie, whats good with the RZA? He’s been laying off the weed like I said, especially the Cali shit. Not when he’s with Snoop Lion though, you never turn down a doobie from the Dog Father! Apparently Method Man hasn’t turned down a doobie, blunt, or even a seed since who knows when, Tical! Did you know Ellis met RZA back in the day in Australia? Yeah, RZA didn’t either, but Ellis said he was a cool dude back then, and still is. The RZA called Rawdog a “Scientist” and made his fucking week! I personally suggest going back and listening to this interview if you get a chance.
Oh yeah, Cumtard! He finally got back with the Nair, the regular shit and the shit specifically for men. But since Ellis didn’t want to catch contact fag, Cumtard had to cut a whole in a box for his balls to poke through. So after a heated battle of shit fucking with Jizz Cult, Cumtard was ready and the “Smartest Box In The World” was born….and it was downhill from there. Cumtard applied some regular nair to one nut, and the for men shit to the other and let it sit for a while. It took a little bit of time, and only a little bit of pain, for Cumtard to tell us the ‘for men’ is a little lighter of the ball sting. Thats some good shit to know. So is the fact this former NY cop is off the streets, after being arrested for plotting to kidnap, rape, murder, and eat women. This reminded Ellis n Tully it was ok for one to eat the other in a pinch to survive, and Rawdog couldn’t do shit about it really. Rawdog probably couldn’t do shit with a wild turkey if he had to catch one either, but this didn’t stop Ellis from wondering how sweet it would look on Ellis Mania if he tried. You could say it may have a chance to be the best video of all time huh? Well good luck beating the current #1 video on EllisMania.com, “Oh Fuck Red Dragons!”. Speaking of which, Im off to get your mom to scream the same thing right now!