Tag Archives: Robin Thicke

Show Re-Cap for Monday 8/26/2013

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bubble_pipe

Get your thinking cap on, today’s full of thoughts!

It’s Monday, and god damn it, my name is not Tim! Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But hey, listen. I mean, read. Fuck it, listen and read at the same time. Ever try that? It’s pretty hard to do and comprehend what you’re reading while you’re listening. Seriously. David Blaine tried that shit once and that’s why he seems a little fucktarded in the dome. A better you than the you, you expected is always a pleasant surprise, it can be a bit confusing, but still. Ellis knows Ricky Carmichael (aka The GOAT), he spoke to him and everything. Why is The Offspring in your mom’s ass? We all know you can’t rely on a shit rope, that shit rope is gonna break, and speaking of which, Wilson is like the weatherman. Tully was at an Israeli wedding last night, and wrote down a quote from the groom’s drunken mother. She called her son her, “United Steak of America, I’m sorry, I’m hungry.” Tully recounted his ordeal Friday and his wife’s grandma. They did a short recap of what happened on Friday’s show for Tully, which included Almart. That quickly turned into cool places that get shit-kicked outta business by big chain stores. What does heaven look like to you? What picture would Jesus give you to help you interpret what heaven looks like? Rawdog? God sends him a picture of the Apple store, though he thinks Superman would greet him into The Justice League. Ellis? He wants pizza Jesus because he doesn’t like people telling him what to do, but he doesn’t mind pizza telling him what to do. Tully? He had some serious logic and it was kind of dark and depressing, fitting right in with the streak of evil that lives inside Tully.

come_to_me

Send in your videos, promise, it’ll be okay!

Prostitution has always been legal in Switzerland, did you know that? Did you know about Swiss cheese, Swiss army knives, and Swatch watches? Good. Moving on then. In Zurich, there has been a problem with street walkers, so they built them their own little whore boxes to do their whore work in. Low and behold, Wilson will be going to Amsterdam and then Zurich – make of that what you will. We heard the rest of the t-shirt design winners and none of them included any of mine, so all you people are dead to me. Do you hear me? Dead to me (not Tim)! Ellis is still trying to convince Tera Patrick to box Sam Rubin, a drunk, trash talking, Sam Rubin.  Other potential fighters were discussed, such as @Shanwize1, whose fight last year won fight of the night awards. But if she wants to fight, it sounds like she’s going to have to do the leg work to find an opponent because @FaceplantLauren has a jacked up back. And there’s a lot of open spots still for fighters, so don’t be scurred and make a 3 minute video of you punching a bag, a pillow, the air, whatever and send it in to fightclub@ellismania.com.

tuna_cum_sandwich

What is it about the Richmond’s and eating cum?

Fucking MTV VMAs talk time, you knew it was going to happen, and now here it is – rearing it’s ugly head. Miley Cyrus’ ass was the hot topic for pretty much everyone across the globe. Who cares. What I found more interesting was that apparently Alan Thicke’s son (Robin) is someone with a varying degree of significance to stupid kids? I had no idea. I still don’t even know what he does or why, all I know is Alan played Jason Seaver in Growing Pains. Coolio is auctioning off his entire music catalog, which consists of 8 albums over 19 years, so he can raise the skrilla so he can… become a chef. That’s right, he wants to be line cook at Denny’s or some shit. Nobody told him the only reason “Cooking With Coolio” was semi-successful was because it was hilarious to see a rapper with a cook book? Surprise! Rawdog’s sister (Gabi) also wants to be a chef and she cook chicken and shit. I assume “shit” is slang for crack and that she’s giving up her gangster rap career to follow her dreams. Here’s to wishing you all the best, Gabi. Fat Joe is going to the slammer for not paying taxes on a million dollars of income. Not paying taxes is so fucking gangster. Did you know rich people get really good stuff as compared to poor people? Yeah, me too. Did you know Rawdog took everyone’s advice, shit on it, and then bought a Prius? He also thinks he could get $1k for his old BMW, so if you’re into shitty cars that smell like McNuggets, bust out that mason jar of change and it could be yours!

A bunch of college chicks in Australia took pictures of their vagina in an effort to curb the vaginal plastic surgery rage going on down under (HEYOH) and it pretty much backfired because (lips for days) people that saw (lots of hair) the photo were freaked out (defects), so much so (oh god) that the school (kill it with fire) wouldn’t run the ad in the school’s newspaper. This spawned a shitload of pussy talk from callers, and as you can imagine, it was incredible insightful and nobody made any jokes or derogatory remarks what-so-ever. Just remember, you came from one, so you better watch the lip (HEYOH) or things could get hairy (HEYOH) real quick. Reeking I mean speak of which, I remember one time I went to the doctors office, and while in the waiting room I spotted your mom. “Can I smell your pussy?” I asked. “No! How dare you!” she said. So I responded, “It must be your feet then.” OH!

so_happy_for_you

No, really. I mean it.

Show Re-Cap for Monday 7/1/2013

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the_eh_team

Not even the “Eh-Team” could stop me!

Okay, okay, I’m back, it’s great to be back and I couldn’t think of a better way to come back than on Canada Day – especially after infiltrating the land of the mole people the week before. Hold the applause, please. What was my mission, you ask? Well, this was an operation with several missions, some of which I can tell you after being debriefed, and some of which I cannot tell you – unless you have the proper security clearance. First, I located and GPS tagged as many entrances to underground mole tunnels as possible. Then I found a crude cell built to hold one Mike Tully. Soon after, I found evidence that the Richmond family may have been involved in treason. And finally, I was to find a cure for moliosis – a disease that causes some Canadians to lose their sense of humor, especially in cases where jokes mention Canada. Oh yea, and the show is back too, after an impromptu cancellation of last Friday’s show. I have no idea what that was about, some say it was punishment, some say it was sickness, and yet others say it was Dom’s fault. Speaking of which, he seems to be missing from today’s show. Did he get 86’ed while I was away? I didn’t hear anything about it when listening to OnDemand.

grumpy_fish

Everything except hand jobs.

Did you know woolly mammoths are Jews? They have curly hair coming off the sides of their ears, like Jewish people. “Bleeding” Burger Ellis is in studio today, farting and bleeding all over the place and in a diaper. Rawdog hasn’t told his mom that he’s dating a porn star. Actually, he hasn’t told any of his family, but it’s mommy that’s the big one that might have an issue with it. The other girl he was sliding his dick into, right to the top? Yea, he dumped her non shroom sharing ass to the curb. But only after he pummeled that pussy like trout meat one more time. Here’s something. Tiger got to meet Shaq! And here’s something else. Tully was an honorary Girl Scout for 10 years, sitting in on brownie meetings and shit, poor bastard. Sounds like Shannon Shenanigans Gunz will be doing the workout with/against Rawdog on Wednesday! Which makes me wonder if she’ll accidentally queef while doing burpies. Jesus, what is wrong with me. Hand jobs aren’t sexual intercourse according to someone from some where. Sounds legit. Also, hand jobs make the world go ’round, along with loads to the face.

rondal_mcdonald_piggies

Slave to the McNuggets.

Chris Weidman called into the show today. A lot of people seem to think that he has the tools to beat Anderson Silva and end Silva’s reign as the middleweight champion. He (and other’s) say he’s better than Chael Sonnen and that he will make Silvia look human in a stand-up battle. He seems super laid back and it doesn’t seem like he’ll be mentally broken before the fight. Guess we’ll all find out this weekend when he fights Silva and UFC 162. If you don’t remember, Weidman was on the show before while they were in New York and had his house destroyed by hurricane Sandy. This led us into Rawdog’s workout. Rawdog says that Ellis picking on his shoes fucks up his workouts. So instead, Ellis will sing a song about how awesome Rawdog is while he’s doing his workout. It seemed to help get him focused and motivated, but it didn’t stop the after workout vomit session that he always has.

no_pudding_pops

Fuckin zippit bloopity shiggy doo a shoopa doopa appah clappah whoogly

The X-Summer X-Games were in Munich, X-Germany over the weekend and blah, blah, blah X-who gives an X-shit. A woman from Arizona was arrested for smuggling drugs from Mexico in her vag. She had a long, thick, chunk of meth in a condom that was so big, it had to be surgically removed. Something about Robin Thicke and dirty words, don’t care. Alec Baldwin got mad at some assfuck who tried to disrespect at his wife and then apologized for it because he tweeted some shit about the gay guy being a queen or something. Pendarvis realized that in the past few weeks, he’s called a straight man a queen – and I think he meant it maliciously and should publicly apologize. Wait. No. I don’t think he should apologize for that actually. J-Lo sang a few songs and some dude died. I don’t know, that’s as much Hollywood news as I’m willing to hear. More importantly, I really want one of those old school pudding pops. Chocolate banana to be precise. Bring that shit back Cosby! And with that, I leave you with this… A priest, pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink. OH!