Tag Archives: Mick Jagger

Show Re-Cap for Monday 11/25/2013

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getting_gas_at_the_dentist

Getting gassed at the dentist.

Hello reader, how are you? I’m doing fine, thank you for asking! I just wanted to tell you good luck. I’m counting on you. Ellis went to the dentist today, he’s got numb face and he had to tell the dentist to keep that gas going as they were grinding down his toof. He hasn’t gotten his goldie teef yet, but he was such a big boy that the dental assistant chick gave him some chocolate. He’s boned a dental assistant before, a couple times actually. She had blown out titties but got them shits fixed. Dingo needs his own chair in the studio, a Dingo chair one might call it, that he can get his sweaty hands all over. Dingo cooked dinner the other night and cut his poor wittle finger. He cooked a turkey burrito in a pan and he’s been known to make a lasagna once or twice. What’s that? The show seems different today for some reason, you say? That may be explained by the fact that Rawdog isn’t there, but Cumtard is. Absolutely nothing was mentioned about Rawdog’s absence, so anything would be speculation at this point. I’m sure whatever it is/was will eventually be addressed as that’s how the show (and real life) has always worked. Ellis went to get a massage, had a towel over his face, and when he flipped over, he felt his pee-pee lay over towards his hip. When the massage was done, he got up to see what kind of view was revealed and felt like a creep. But a creep who is packing heat.

190_dollar_pjs

Your pajamas were how much?

Dingo’s wearing $190 pajamas today, for that amount of money you’d expect him to be constantly orgasmic, but he just seems comfortable. Dingo and Ellis have decided to burn their Uggs, which has to be the best decision ever because, wow. Ellis is a bit of a soap connoisseur now and he’s not falling for any of those cheap as soap gimmicks anymore, so watch out Irish Spring! In an effort to get candy, he got some rose scented shit sprayed on him and went around asking people to smell him. Dingo’s just waiting for the soap rash discussion, but that never came. Instead, we heard about a 12-year-old, crying Dingo who got scabies and passed it on to all his friends. Sounds like Wilson got himself a new haircut and a new lanyard and has allegedly been fucking the fat off himself. He reminded the guys that the go kart track that they’re going to Tuesday is having a toy drive for poor people and if you can, bring 100% of a full toy, not 10% of a toy like Kim Kardashian. Ellis and Dingo have been having strange dreams lately, Ellis thinks his is from the Alpha BRAIN and Dingo thinks his is from a RZA week.

feexins

Whenever Cumtard is on the show, everyone wonders what the punishment is going to be.

So this dude in Washington, IL filmed a tornado going straight for his house, tornado hunter’s Tully and Cumtard question the legitimacy of the video, but you can decide for yourself. Ellis got his Porsche fixed (not really, it’s gotta go back) and then somebody hit it, denting the exhaust pipe, marked it up, and THAT is why we can’t have nice things – because people suck. In case you haven’t heard, Cumtard has one of them phone apps out, called Freaky Scenes, and he’s gets more chances to plug it today by answering some trivia questions, wrong answers mean he’s eating some death dealing dog food from China. Let’s just say he didn’t leave the show hungry and you probably wouldn’t know the name of his app if I didn’t just post a link to it. Tully got a call from his bank saying someone tried to use his debit card with a fake ID of him and of course it was in Inglewood because Inglewood is always up to no good. “We live in a world.” ~Dingo Let that one sink in a blow your fuckin’ mind. Ellis will be on terrestrial radio tomorrow morning, on The Heidi & Frank Show.

Hollywood news time, Justin Bieber has perfume or wears perfume or both. Angelina Jolie bought Brad Pitt an island for $20 million. Common man Dingo say’s that’s chump change. Mick Jagger is now a great-grandfather. Jason Momoa has a man cave and invited Ellis to come over some time, even gave him his phone number, so he might be on the show one day – the tale of two Jasons. Manny Pacquiáo won his fight against Brandon Rios in the first ever pay-per-view boxing card from China. Ellis started to talk about his incident with Beacher of Beacher’s Madhouse and Dingo quickly cut that conversation off like someone was talking about murder for hire over the telephone. Seems like Dingo now hates that dude and doesn’t want him to get his name mentioned even if just to say “fuck that guy”, which Dingo did actually say. Nobody knows whats up with that and it doesn’t look like the fans will ever know – and I’m okay with that because I said fuck that guy before it was cool to say fuck that guy. Also, apparently people are mad at Dingo for posting a picture of Miley Cyrus on his Instagram. I don’t really care one way or the other, so I don’t know what to say about that. Ellis got sent some Duck Dynasty shit for his pets and Dingo ain’t about to let anyone hate on that shit. This spurred on some callers who treated us to their duck and deer calls. Oh, and we got to hear “Smoked Out Clit” from Death! Death! Die! and Everlast.

nap_time

How to silence Dingo.

Breaking news, Cumtard did not eat death dealing dog treats from China. After he started feeling like shit and forcing himself to vomit it all up, news on the wire was Wilson had played a dastardly trick and Cumtard actually just ate beef jerky. Wilson, you sly minx! Back to the news of the stars desk, Dingo Dingerton went to the AMA’s, he talked about how just fucking incredible, best thing since sliced bread, Imagine Dragons were. Of course he had to name drop Miley, Rihanna singing “garbldey arrrhhhg I forget” (which sounds like a kick ass song title), Nelly was there giving a shout out to the Lou. Thankfully Shoebox came in bearing gifts to steer the conversation away from “Dingo name drops more people in 60 seconds than anyone would think possible.” That lasted all of 90 seconds before Dingo steered us right back into name dropping thing. Shoebox chimed in with some real talk about wanting to fuck Miley. Then back to Dingo for his obligatory Miley name drop and to let us know he’s been to the AMA’s for 3 years now, again. Eventually Ellis had to tell Dingo to shut the fuck up for a minute so someone else could talk. No offense to Dingo, even though it sounds like it. I just could care less about the AMA’s and hate having to recap about that garbage. More power to Dingo for being in the mix in that world. I’ll have you know this man risked his life once. In the passenger seat of a truck. That was being driven by a professional. In the middle of a dessert. Where other driver’s drive past you and if you’re in serious trouble, they stop to help or call out for help. And where helicopters fly above checking the progress of drivers. HAHAA But seriously, thems jokes. Dingo was getting kind of heated for his terrifying rendition of being the passenger in a Baja truck. And finally, two lepers were playing poker, one threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off. OH!

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Come to NYA for the recaps. Stay for the entertainment. Am I right? I’m right, right!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 11/29/2012

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Tickle my taint its Thursday again so fuck short people.  Oh, and fuck  people with black hair or that drive PT cruisers.  Fuck people that play golf or tennis, but baseball is cool.  Its a perfect science as Ellis see’s it, but of course motto is better.  Rawdog thinks baseball is complicated, like we didn’t know that shit.  Ellis also fucked up Tully’s honeymoon.  Not like that, nah Ellis and his obsession with shark attacks got into Tully’s head, and he and the misses were near an ocean.  Its all good though since Ellismate is finally a man, well with his chest hairs he’s growing.  Speaking of men, Rawdog said he couldn’t beat Steven Tyler in a fight, but he could take Mick Jagger, uh huh.  Old people could take you and your life, cause they fucking suck at driving.  Tully’s of the opinion that old fucks shouldn’t be allowed to drive during rush hour, and women should never drive, ever!!!  To Rawdog’s joy, Ellis said elderly peoples should be restricted to auto-driving cars.  Either way, they you and I should be as lucky as to realize when we’ve lost our shit.  Tully then lost his shit on all races.  Latin dancing sucks, Africans i mean really, Asians are just hyper white people, Indians stink with their incense and all, and Arabic music just sucks.  And of course the Jews, well they’re just little “Doogie Arabs”, i mean Am I White?

 

Doesn’t his moves look similar to Rawdog in 100 years?

 

In STD News, a third of people aged 13 to 24 have not been AIDS tested, and 60% of those with AIDS don’t know it, and Rawdog’s going to be tested on the show, maybe.  Ellismate’s flip flopping on A6K and what to do with it, either just give the fucking thing away to a deserving fan, or sell it to said fan, and give the money to Everlast to fight Cystic Fibrosis.  Then Jizz Cult came into the room and You Sir, Are A Moron!  Remember this game, Will tosses out a topic, and Ellis Tully and Rawdog state their opinions, blah blah blah your moms a moron.  Some decent radio here, from gambling addiction and cops smoking weed to eating horse meat and taking a shit at work.  Ellis and Rawdog did get into it about flying cars, and the floating lights they’d require for lanes.  All three got into a good debate over if 100 dead heads could defeat 10 juggalos in a fight to the death.  Of course when Sasquatch was brought up, Rawdog lost his cool and well you sir are a moron.  Then we stumbled upon if its rape between animals, which wasn’t a topic, just came up in conversation as is usually does.  Rawdog convinced Tully and Ellis its not, as an animal can not consent.  In the end, this game was really only a ploy for Will to ask his real question, was bombing Hiroshima necessary?  I don’t know Will, you tell me, whats up with the government?

 

Hollywood News time kids – Lindsay Lohan punched some bitches lights out in a NYC club, go girl!  That whole deal with Precious losing all that weight from yesterdays show was total bullshit.  In Sports News (what the fuck?), Michael Jordan has been banned for life from this country club in Miami for wearing cargo shorts.  Brandon Marshall of the Da Bears says dudes be taking mad Viagra to get an edge during games.  Rawdog said he’d like to see that, and would probably get a boner with a bunch of dudes jumping on his back, yup!  Damian Lillard (Basketball dude) is scared shitless of statues.  Meanwhile, Tully is a fucking tool and he knows it and is getting help. He named his kid a combination of the top baby name in 2012 (Aiden) and the name with the biggest increase from the previous year (Grey), but I can’t spell it so fuck off.  Of course little Linsanity was not named after the 50 shades of shit book, nor some dude named Aiden (can’t think of any), so he’s not so bad I guess but still #fucktully!

 

Yo man your fucking creeping me out

 

Woman Am I Right?  This bitch here done stabbed up her husband with duel blades cause he wouldn’t fuck her.  This German bitch tried to suffocate her man with her tig ol’ bitties, which Rawdog was fucking amped on, redeeming himself slightly from the football comment earlier.  This Florida bitch beat her man up, cause he won the Cum Challenge!  And this bitch done gone and beat up her bitch cause she couldn’t find her detachable penis.  Then something happened that is rare for the show, Rawdog called Tully out when he tried to run a story that was already done, the one that gave us the Rawdog drop “Someone’s going to suck my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat!”  This other bitch tried to pull a tube out of her man’s chest, for meeting girls at the store.  This bitch working a Dollar Tree beat some lady up for using too many coupons.  And then there’s this bitch who’s best friend is a 378lb. tiger, so keep your eyes out for our follow up story on this lady real soon!!!  Finally we got this bitch who’s showing her support for Movember, which is kinda cool, but not kinda hot.

 

In case you didn’t click that last link…..Movember!!!

 

Finally we got an update on that Lindsay Lohan story from earlier.  HA, that was just some bad ass story of an anaconda vomiting your mom a cow.  Back to Lohan, so the woman she hit was a fortune teller who approached Lindsay on some crazy shit.  Lohan called her a fucking gypsy, like i said before go girl!  Shout out to that Red Deer, Alberta strip club that was playing Kiss of Poseidon at 3 in the afternoon.  Ellis and Tully told some dude to stop being a pussy and get his red wings, in the shower of course.  And if that fails, just fuck her in a Bane mask.  A bunch of other random shit in Final Calls, like ‘We Wish you a Red Dragons’ and horses do rape other horses!  Also, Ellis is good at doing Rawdog doing him.  Rawdog is much better at doing Ellis though, so much so that Jason’s thinking of taking a week in China, and letting Josh fill in as the sick cunt host.  He may need to get a few tattoos, but the voice is spot on.  Of course if tats go wrong, he can always just “Cover it up with your mom’s face covered in shit”, OH!