Lets talk about our emotions, and how they effect us each and every Thursday. If your getting high to hide your emotions, well that’s not good. If your using music to feel your emotions well that’s fucking sweet. Therefore if your high and listening to music, you’ve figured out the meaning of life. And welcome to today’s show and straight into how Jersey Shore is expanding like Wu-Tang, everyone’s getting their own show on MTV, but not Ellis, FUCK! No one wants to pick up ol’ MC Hollywood for a season or two? Not Rawdog, who claims to be from Hollywood but really is better know as Mr. Marina Del Ray, but Ellismate, who is not from Hollywood so could claim to be MC Hollywood, is better know as MC Sanderingham. Mr. New Jersey, who claims to be Mr. New York, and better know as Mr. Oxford as far as I’m concerned, had to roll the fuck out for a few to get Ellis some Codeine for his Aids he’s getting. Without Tully in studio, talk went to washer’s and dryers, and of course Rawdog’s dick. Oh, let me explain that…..you see Ellis just moved in so he needs a new washer and dryer, and Rawdog could use one but doesn’t have the cash for it allegedly. Oh, and Rawdog is going to his gay roommates party and is figruing out his best lines for getting some stank on his hang down. So far, Rawdog’s best bet is to quote the average dick size of 5 1/4″, and immediately notify them he’s packing a clean 7″ of Taint Stick.
Apparently all people in South Korea look the same, even in beauty pageants, or so I learned on TJES! I also learneded that Mike Jasper is pretty fucking gnarly too. If you don’t recall Mike is the dude Ellis was sparring a few weeks ago on EllisMania.com, the cool one who didn’t beat the shit out of him too bad, much respect. Dude is a perfect 6-0 in professional fights, but said he did have a fight in Vegas that didn’t technically count in which he did get knocked out, and that’s one he remembers. Dude’s a warrior, and practices the Dolce Diet too so get it up ya if ya haven’t yet! I missed about 10 minutes of the interview, only to come back to Joe Rowe using some training mask in preparation for this year’s Bong Olympics, Red Dragons to you my friend! Back to Jasper the Angry Ghost, and shout out to him for bringing tickets to give to #EllisFam for his upcoming fight May 11th in Woodlands Hills, CA. He’ll be beating the shit out of Lee Chapman who is 4-8 for another couple of weeks. So wonder what this mutha fucker here can do on the punch machine? Well not sure what happened really, maybe he was psyched out from Branden Schaub’s score was less than Ellis’s, or maybe he just missed that stupid fucking star in the middle, but he topped out at a 56. Hey dude, at least you beat Rawdog! In MMA News, Anderson Silva could beat Rawdog too, even after his new contract extending him for 12 more fights in all. Crazy Bones Jones said he’s got some record to set first before fighting in another weight class, in case you were wondering. Kimbo Slice still exists, knocking MoFo’s out in Australia! Finally, and most improtantly of all, it was rumored that Ellis’ next fight at Ellismania may be a rematch with Gay Bruediger, but kickboxing this time!
It’s that time of year again folks, time to vote for your favorite to be the 2013 Twisty’s Treat Of The Year. Say hello to Spencer Scott and Karlie Montana, two of the contestants for this contest I speak of. Apparently the winner gets some money, a diamond necklace, and one grand for a charity of their choice. Wonder what that charity would be? “Um, I don’t have a clue, maybe Um animals?” Let me ask you this EllisFam, do all the dumb bitches come on the show on Thursday’s? Here’s what you didn’t miss, a four part contest to see who you should vote for. In round 1, Spencer is proud of her blow job accomplishments, is best at everything in bed, and fucks like Bill Clinton. Karlie spits load of 34 story buildings in Canada, wishes she had no tonsils to get the dick in further, an thinks squirting is the greatest thing achieved of the last century – guess who won! Round 2 was phone sex with callers, using voice altermacation of course, but only Karlie was down to phone fuck, Spencer pussed out. Round 3 was the punch machine, Spencer 36, Karlie 39. Round 4 was for Ellis to sniff a line of their pussy and judge. Karlie’s was like America and Monster Energy in one. Spencer’s, besides not even being in the competition, apparently smelled all fruity and shit, so again guess who won. 4 – 0 sweep, bottom line folks, don’t waste your time on this shit and just enjoy your weekend!
Hollywood News anyone? Cops in Stockholm, Sweden say Justin Bieber was rolling with weed and a stun gun, but arrested him only because he was hanging with that Lil Za fucker again, damn Biebs! Bieber was also late to some photo shoot and another concert, but fuck off ok! Some dude from the Nappy Roots got beat down by Po Po Mo Fo! Remember that whole “Don’t you know who I am” from Reese Witherspoon the other day, turns out someone looked up other times that shit happened and Bob’s Your Uncle. In other Hollywood News, Ellis say’s don’t watch The Crow cause it fucking sucks now, and some dude did a ton of blow in it and got all sleepy n shit, and that doesn’t really happen. I kinda sorta missed a little more of the show, only to come back to Beanie Sigel, Memphis Bleek and Ellismate all in a cab, shooting it out with Jay Z, all inside of some chics carnival…..but I never did find out her name! Bruno Mars says fuck Joe’s Crab Shack. And finally
La Toya Jackson says Michael Jackson’s ghost tap dancers in her house, never mind! Teen Advice, need some, get some – well ok maybe not really, but if you’ve ever questioned whether Ellis, Rawdog or Tully would fuck a clone of them self, No Way for Tully, Why Not for RawDizzle, and Yes For A MTV Show for Young Wing. For the rest of them, I think Tully put it best when he suggested ‘move to the sewer and become lord of the underground’. Except for that one 17year old lesbo who’s gonna eventually fuck her teacher, good luck! And as far as any suggestions for your grandmama, how about five and a quarter inches is all I’ll put in if you don’t shut the fuck up, OH!