Happy late night Wednesday shitheads. I’d like to take a moment to apologize to anyone who has ever had shit on your head, that was obscene, offensive language and  I am deeply sorry and I am going to counsel myself into never saying it again. Evening, fucktards! So what’s up with Ellis and his heart? Well he had that surgery where they burned the valves and now he is getting cleared to do little bits of physical activity here and there. So today he did a 45 minute heavy bag/garage workout and got the old ticker pumping again, so maybe he won’t feel like such a fat bag of saggy shit in a week or so. He’s got another cut on his dick, which is kind of a bummer, but he got it from some chick’s teeth this time because she was sucking a little above her skill level and chipped the shaft. Remember ladies, it’s good to be adventurous and outgoing, but you have to recognize your own skill level before you try any big air tricks. Someone could get hurt. And in this case, that was Jason’s dick, and now he can’t fuck but he can still make out and stuff so he’s totally fine with making out because all dudes love to just make out. Make out.

What I’m really trying to say here is you have to be healthy. Tully has been trying to get his triceps a little bigger and more defined so that they look nice while they rest on his soft, chubby torso. Jason is gonna go to the gym with Benji Madden sometime soon and work on getting rid of those baby arms (You can have bitches say you have huge biceps in your intro all you want, Jas-Cakes, we all know the truth!). But he wants to get a little bigger, without completely DudeBro-ing out at the gym and being that asshole who takes up three areas of the gym so he can do his 3 rep sets in between talking with his bros about lifting and fucking protein powders bros. You know who you are, dicks. Which segues nicely into the next portion of the conversation which was how when you go to any gym, you can certainly walk in and tell by the caliber of people there, what you are going to get out of it. You go to a Weight Watchers gym, you’re gonna see fat people. You go to a Crossfit gym, you’re gonna see some sweet asses and weird clothes. You go to an Advocare rally, you’ll see this:

We build Champions!

Remember, Jason is going to be going live over on OfficialJasonEllis.com at 8AM PST(Pacific Standard Time if you are having enough trouble reading this). He is going to be doing these more often, as long as he doesn’t forget when Jetta has his computer and can get online. He wants that to be sort of a jumping off pre-show type of thing where he can interview people and do weird shit. What he wants to avoid is it just being him answering questions from 30 people every time he goes on. One of the ideas he threw out there was renting a U-Haul and riding around LA with a portable set and interviewing random people in the back of it while they are driving. I assume he will be wearing protective eye wear and a flak jacket for when he gets pepper sprayed and/or shot. Either way, mixing it up on there would be the key to getting more people on the new site. I can really only speak for myself, but I know just the regular videos from the show, the stunts and the occasional one on one interviews with the fans haven’t been enough to bring me over. The idea of a variety type show separate from the radio is a damn good idea, that is going to take planning(to a certain degree) and coordination(as much as one can ask for) on Jason and the rest of the staff’s part. Jason is really motivated to get the new site moving again to gain back all of the subscribers he lost with the website fiasco. But I’m sure in time, we will all be back on the team once again.

Briefly, they covered the Jonah Hill thing, but I’m not going to get into it other than to say Ellis doesn’t understand why someone would say something so stupid, especially because he is famous. Tully agrees it was a stupid thing to say, but he understands how in an instance, someone harassing you for hours every day can get to you, and you can lash out. Jonah Hill is also doing the most lackluster, insincere and fake apology I’ve ever seen, so I guess he knows he is full of shit. Just to clarify, I don’t give two blue fucks about what Jonah Hill said to some asshole paparazzi. It’s such a non issue, and the whole fake outrage and “Gotcha” mentality of this bullshit makes me want to hurl. Fuck em all, I say.

And anyone who looks like em.

Heath Herring called the show today. If you don’t know Heath, I suggest you watch THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW: Heath called in to shoot the shit, really. He has a fight promotion in South America, has kicked the shit out of people who tried fighting him in Casinos, and should probably not be MMA Yosemite Sam, because somehow lawyers always get involved when he is around. I was at the gym doing mad kettlebell swings when I was listening to this so I didn’t write better notes. Don’t like it?

Tommy Rieman was a guest on the show today. Tommy hosted the Hooters Pageant with Ellis a while back, and is a former soldier. These days, Tommy is touring around doing work for JusticeForVets.org ,  an organization dedicated to getting proper medical care, assistance, and therapy that military vets have by all rights earned with their service to the country. They talked about the growing issue in the VA hospitals (That is just a google link to a barrage of news stories on this topic. There were so many, I couldn’t pick one) and how soldiers coming home with PTSD are all too often denied the proper psychotherapy and treatment they need to get better. In fact, a lot of times the hospitals are now just throwing mountains of pills at the problem and leaving vets to their own devices. Tommy recalled a few stories of friends of his who came home, got hooked on pain pills and booze and committed suicide. He admitted that even he got deep in the booze and morphine and tried to kill himself by driving his truck into a tree. Bottom line, these guys are asked to go serve their country, see and do some horrific shit so that we don’t ever have to, and then are left to sink or swim when they get back with a fraction of the support they were promised upon enlisting. Tommy will be doing work for PatriotFest as well, a concert/festival weekend that benefits the Wounded Warriors Project. Tommy was a really good guest, and I was glad to see the show highlighting an issue that not a lot of people are aware of. I mean, it seems like something that should never happen because of the sacrifices these guys make, but here it is. More people need to be worried about this, than be worried about Jonah Hill saying Faggot. Thanks to the guys for giving this a spotlight. I don’t have any jokes to close this paragraph.

To lighten the mood towards the end of the show, the guys had an arm-wrestling competition to see who reigns supreme in the bicep region. Everybody except for Ellis because, well, let’s be honest: besides Jason you have a Fat, old and arthritic man, a flabby midget made of 75% pizza, a gangly hipster who drives a Jetta, and a man who makes dinner while his wife puts furniture together because he can’t do it. I think Tully won the whole thing but can’t be certain. It might have been Will, but I do know that Cumtard lost to everyone. Even after that embarrassing showing, I am still going to be vocal in my support of Cumtard in Cumtard V. Will at Ellismania X. I don’t think those shins are going to have the wherewithal to stick and move while the Tard picks him apart. #TeamTard #TeamTully

Good evening and welcome, sit down and shut up I’m in a shit mood and want this over with.

Ellis found himself feeling like a fuck for a split second for getting a little tubby after his surgery, but then he remembered he just had surgery on his fucking heart and you are allowed a few pounds after that. But that makes him realize he should use his power of radio to tell people they can get fit and lose weight and not be such pieces of shit. You know who are pieces of shit? Chicks who smoke when they are pregnant. Ellis saw a chick outside of where he lives who was sporting a baby bump and sucking down a cancer stick. Tully correctly deduced it to not the lowest form of trash, but a form of trash that is just above putting mountain dew in a baby bottle. Or a foreigner.

50 cent can’t throw a pitch, Kevin Hart is little but wants to be a big basketball player and Master P tried running the Bball game for a long time. Not sure what I took away from this. Don’t care either.

Jack Osbourne was on the show today! Right off the bat, Ellis confessed that Kelly and him had a little spat but that it was probably because of Ellis acting like a Vagina and having soft skin. Jack says his sister is pretty good at rubbing people the wrong way. It wasn’t a very long interview but they talked really quick about how Jack has lost some weight and gotten into fighting a little bit. Apparently there is a video out there somewhere of Jack knocking a dude out with a knee, but he says himself it’s not that impressive. If you didn’t know, Jack was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, and they talked a little bit about how it’s manageable with eating healthy and getting exercise. He says he has the type that just flares up and goes away. “Like herpes!” Ellis proclaimed, and they all laughed boisterously together. Jack has a website called YouDontKnowJackAboutMS.com

Speaking of health: Jason finally laid down the gauntlet for Will on his fatness and his smoking. From this day forth until Ellismania, every day that Will smokes, he has to do pushups. But will wouldn’t do the pushups on the show because he didn’t want to be humiliated by it. Humiliate him by posting comments on his IG here. I don’t think Wilson has what it takes to buck up and better himself for Cumtard, and in fact, in my humble opinion, I think Cumtard beats Will’s lily fat, smelly ass at Ellismania X. That’s right, #FuckWill #TeamTard. I don’t care if watching Ellis rollerblade is less satisfying than Cumtard eating onion rings off of a hard dick. GO CUMTARD! FUCK WILSON! And for more reasons than just him being a shit head about the pushups. This is about when Ellis talks to him when he is in the green room, and instead of stepping to the mic, he just yells through the door instead of waddling his ass to where the listeners don’t have hear Jetta screening calls. Ellis is super pumped on getting Wilson to quit smoking though, and so should you. Comment on all of his IG photos here and tell him about it.

They did Wolfknife names so everyone chuckled and Big Daddy Jas Cakes counted your paper.

The guys had a jam-off where Cumtard, Will and Jetta faced off playing a blues riff and Ellis and Tully judged them. I couldn’t tell you who won, but it all sounded like blues to me, which is to say it sounded like Muhammad Ali trying to pick up a guitar more than someone playing it. The blues suck.

To end the day, the guys played the “Misheard lyrics” game where they play a snippet of a song, and everyone has to guess what the mush mouth artist is saying. A quick round-up:

Radiohead wants to stuff their shit in your pocket.

Snow-Informer is to this day something only Canadians can understand which leads me to believe it contains the secret war plans for their invasion.

CCR always has and always will sound like Swamp-Billy rock you can kill a gook to.

Fall Out Boy: Even though I like Fall Out Boy, not one of their songs makes a damn bit of sense, and they mumble through it anyway.

Bone Thugs say some Bone Thuggish things that I am neither young enough or black enough to understand.

Blondie just sucks.

You suck.

Fuck you.

Good Night.

Tell Will he sucks, and Cumtard is going to beat him here on his IG.

There is a fun new game where you smash peoples nuts with the super Ken Block RC car. Watch it here.

How you like that Ellisfam? You get me not once, but twice this week! I’m filling in while Az_Reddragon is getting drunk and loudly ordering 20 Doritos locos tacos to a confused and probably offended waiter in Mexico right now. Hang in there dude, if you believe in it hard enough, the double deckers will appear. Speaking of believing in yourself: Drago in Rocky IV did not believe in himself enough. All of Russia’s top man sculpting scientists pumped him full of Gatorade and wrote on clipboards while he shadowboxed in rooms made of Soviet flags, and yet they still couldn’t genetically engineer HEART, SON! And Rocky may have a fucked up lip, but that son of a bitch has heart….Along with a terrible boxing stance and stilts in his shoes. Which brought Tully to talk about people’s national anthems and how they all seem to have the same sentiment of ”
Hey look at us we are so awesome and you other countries suck” Ellis asked Tully why all those celebrities are holding signs up about bringing those girls home (?) and Will explained the situation, and why celebrities do that. For some reason this spun Ellis to his favorite News Reindeer Wolf Blitzen, and a story he saw on his show where some Christian guys on TV  got fired because they protested in an Anti-gay rally before and have very conservative, anti-gay views. Ellis reckons this was unfair, because even though he completely disagrees with that ideology, he still recognizes that the guys have a right to voice their beliefs. Tully mentioned how it is a striking hypocrisy among the media how you can get away with taking shots at Christians all day long, but if you say anything disparaging about a gay person you will be fired and publicly shamed, ruining your career. Ellis asked why this is. Tully said that the media is very liberal, and the reason they are liberal is because they are more “Intellectually curious” and Ellis said “more open minded” and nonnononononononn back out! Pull up! Maverick! Pull up!!

WHEW! Narrowly avoided a bunch of angry callers on that one and listening to Tully and listeners yell at each other. So we are going to sprint the fuck away from that terrible topic. Hey you know what’s kind of funny? Ellis doesn’t know the order that the months fall in. Or he does, but it took him a long ass time and he only knows the first five because of that Wyclef Jean song.

Someone sent a bunch of stuff to the studio as presents, and Tully said it’d be sweet if just one of these times, it were full of bricks of cocaine. Tully needs to do some coke to get it out of his system already. But as it turns out, it wasn’t sweet, sweet cocaine, it was a goody box of Kulture merch, (alleged pipes and bongs allegedly alleged). They all seemed pretty pumped on the stuff even though I never saw what they got so I’ll assume it’s sweet. Go check those dudes out.

*update: I forgot while I was writing, but I’m sober now, so if you go to these guys site, use the. Coupon code Ellis41 to get a discount. thanks guys!

Ellis was once in an Australian soap opera called “The Henderson Kids” when he was really young. Will says he has tried time and time again to find the footage of Ellis in the show but can’t find him anywhere in the mix. So please, if you are the type of person who is good at finding that kind of shit, please get right the fuck on that. The talk of the old days made Ellis remember a story where he was modeling and to hide his wiener in his see-through pants, a dude reached down and stuffed tissue paper over his wang. Grabbed quite a bit’ o’ that package while he was down there too, if you know what I mean. The conversation spun around whether if touching normally private areas is expected behavior on a modeling set, where everyone is being professional. The main point being: If you’re a dude and you are putting an adhesive star over Carmen Electra’s nipple, you are enjoying the shit out of that. I can honestly say that If I ever get within a foot of Carmen Electra I’m taking her to the top of the Empire State building and you can fuck right off. Back to the topic at hand, though. So if it is true that people in the modeling industry still love seeing model titties, it would stand to reason that gynecologists are counted among the world’s biggest geniuses perverts. Can you imagine punching out for lunch knowing you’ve already seen 6 vaginas? A Gyno even called in to confirm, that yes, they are getting creepy on your snatch. His words, not mine. A medical doctor used the word snatch at least twice in a 3 minute phone call. Think about that, ladies.

MMA fighter Matt Brown made some comments about women being in the UFC, like how they don’t knock each other out because of the physical frame of them and how he’d like to bang some of them. Not outlandish comments, and he was being funny, but is kind of a shit thing to say when you work for the UFC, and women’s MMA is still so new and is working hard to prove itself in the male dominated world of fighting. But fuck it, say what you want dude. I bring this up because Tully and Ellis placed a bet for Monday on the Brown/Silva fight this weekend on Fox Sports1, where the loser will spin the wheel. Oh, speaking of the wheel they added a bunch more shit to it. What did they add? I honestly don’t remember, and I can never keep them all straight anyway, so let’s just wait until Monday and hear some good old fashioned torture. They also handed out Wolfknife names and I didn’t write any of those down either, though it was a particularly fun edition of the segment. Probably should have done that. Oh well, fuck you it’s Friday. I did write some notes, including the words “Boxer Troll” which I am going to recap the fuck out of right now!

Ken Block, co-founder of DC Shoes, and longtime friend of Ellis, came on the show today. I’m not entirely sure what he was there to promote, but I’m not sure it really matters. It was sort of just a hang. He does have his Gymkhana (I swear all these years I thought Ellis was saying Jim Conner.) which is some sweet ass rally racing. He brought along some RC cars for Ellis’ kids and one special one for Cumtard’s balls. If you don’t remember the good old scrotum pulling apparatus, it’s a big spiky thing meant for balls, and then you hook the other end of it up to a fast RC car and boom, comedy. Ken Block’s RC cars are no fucking joke either, those sons of bitches were loud, which only makes me think they were fast and powerful as hell too. Haha, Kevin’s balls. Haha.

Aaron Lewis gave an interview where he mentioned his appearance on TJES, and admitted it was a time in his career where he maybe went too far or got too heated. But when he said it, he didn’t say anything disparaging about the show, just mentioned it like it was any other show. Ellis appreciated that and said it kinda made him like Lewis a little bit.

In Kevin’s Diarrhea News: His diarrhea comes and goes these days. He went to the doctor, shit in a hat and the doc said his shit was fine. But, Kevin still has the wet hot browns, so he is going to see a specialist.

And finally, today was Hardcore’s final day (PursuitofCrappiness on IG) as an intern on the show. They asked him if he still hated everyone on the show as much as he did on day 1, and surprisingly, he said he would stick around if they paid him. Progress. He said that at first he found the show to be a little misogynistic and homophobic even, but obviously being around the show for more than a day will do that. He took a shot at the punch pad and scored high enough to land himself at the #9 slot all time. So goodbye, Hardcore. Your utter contempt for the show and it’s fans on a daily basis will only be shadowed by your uncommonly awful Cast Away tattoos. Good on ya, Hardcore, we love how you hate us. Have a good weekend, everybody.

The End……???

Hello and welcome, all you fish baby froggy blobs, to the Wednesday recap of the Jason Ellis Show. In this installment of the NYA recap, watch and witness as I try and race to the end of this recap before the effects of these sleeping pills and melatonin kick in and I wake up in the closet yet again. Normally, I would take all the pills and try to rub one out before I pass out, but I have a ridiculous amount of dedication to letting you know all the things you missed on TJES. Or all the shit you heard earlier and are just baby birding all of the show’s content vomit because you are sad, alone and already ejaculated tonight.

Jason says we all came from frog people who crawled out of the ocean and therefore we are more closely related to the fish people. Tully corrected him and said Monkey’s were closer and Jason countered with MERMAIDS MOTHERFUCKER! FACE TULLY! IN YOUR FACE! The world, as a whole, would stop hating each other so much if we could only band together to hate someone else together. So if aliens ever do invade we can spray them with our fire hoses and sick our gigantic dogs on them together. Hate sure can be fun. Speaking of hate, Jason hates the people that live around him because people keep parking in his spot. The landlord said to take pictures of the license plates and he will report them to the police and they will get a ticket. Now, Jason isn’t so into it (Except for on the one dude who was a dick to Katie), but Tully on the other hand, would turn that into a hobby. The image of Tully riding around in a rascal scooter taking flip cam photos of parking infractions and sending them to the Chief of Police should be a bit on OfficialJasonEllis.com . Do it, pussies.

Today is special for more reasons than the sweet boner I slammed in a door before work. Today happens to be Jetta’s birthday (Go wish that fucker a happy birthday) and everyone on the show worked together to plan a special day for him and even got him a super awesome cake from a custom cake place that Jason paid for. Everyone kind of fucked up the cake situation and played the blame game pointing fingers and yelling accusations at each other in helium afflicted voices. This whole fiasco got more convoluted than the plot to Casino, to I’ll try to take it easy.

A rare picture from the cutthroat world of the green room.

Ahem, ok, so Kevin, as Marilyn Mon-hoe came in to sing a sexy helium filled rendition of happy birthday to Jetta. That was awesome. Then we hear that someone dropped the cake and it was all fucked up. Hardcore eventually owned up to it because he doesn’t give two shits about Jetta’s birthday, anyone on the show, or you for that matter so go fuck yourself. Upon further investigation, Cumtard didn’t get the cake from the bakery Jason suggested because he didn’t want to call Jason and bother him with asking. The whole argument was Will and Cumtard pointing fingers and placing blame on each other and it was made all the more glorious because Kevin sounded like a slutty chipmunk the whole time. In the end, Jetta got to celebrate his birthday by listening to morons argue, eat second-rate cake and requested that every person on the show get hit with the dick punch machine. Of which we now have a new and improved model because the last one got thrown away in the move from Swinghouse. (i.e. is sitting in front of Will’s La-Z-Boy at home so he can tee off on his testes while he masturbates to mammogram videos, just to feel something)

Jay-Z hugged Tully once in Rockefeller Center around Christmas time once. Avril Lavigne charged people a bunch of money so they could take a photo near her. She kind of sucks, but we all pretty much knew that after she dumped the dickbag from Sum 41 and married the dickbag from Nickelback. Conversely, Rihanna is probably the coolest chick ever about the meet and greets, and takes pictures groping her fans, and her fans groping her and I am buying a ticket to this immediately. This started a conversation on the things celebrities do for fans, and which are the cool things and which are the douchey things that are obvious whoring. I’m not gonna lie, I’m getting a little woozy, so you’re gonna have to take my word for it, it was interesting.

The guys talked a bit about Shovel Girls and somehow, someway Jason used the word convex in a sentence correctly and I almost put my car into a Dairy Queen out of shock. Katie works for Pete Wentz now, which is cool because according to Jason and Tully, that dude is a genuinely nice guy.

In my last ditch effort to bring some cohesiveness to this show, the guys put on a quintessential showing of #WhitePeopleWednesday today when they decided to freestyle rap battle each other because Pandas are faggots, according to my notes. The rules are simple: The callers give you a topic, you rap about it for 30 seconds and we all giggle about how bad we are.

Kevin’s topic was Fruity Pandas and it wasn’t the most terrible rap about Pandas fuckin’ that I’ve ever heard.

Wilson drew Electric Jesus and came up with a Hatebean style hook about kissing Jesus on the mouth.

Jason got Granny’s gray ass hair and didn’t mention it once, which is sort of gangster. He sucks at rapping, but he wasn’t the worst.

Hardcore drew spaghetti and somehow went on a racist tirade for 30 seconds, called for a revolution against the federal reserve and compared himself to Che Gueverra. Just kidding, he just rambled nonsense and he was easily the worst out of all of them. In his defense, he hates you and go fuck yourself.

Jetta rapped about the Holocaust like it was basically like the movie Meatballs with fun pajamas. He didn’t lose though.

Tully rapped about banging lady boys, and peppered in a lot of “Something something” and “I don’t know” which was some cutting edge shit. He sucked though, got second to last.

In the final rap battle between Tully and Hardcore to see who sucked the hardest, Hardcore proved once again how badly he doesn’t want to talk to anyone associated with the show and just wants to get off mic as soon as possible. Congratulations, dick.

Lastly, I want to give a shout out to Oxycottonjohn , an original Ellisfam from way back. If you don’t know, John used to call the show wasted off of his ass and it’s his voice on the “Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhh Motherfuckers” button that Ellis uses all the time. Oxy then got his ass into rehab, got sober, and has since been dealing with shitty health problems for the last couple of years. Today, he called in to let us all know he is still alive and kicking, albeit from a hospital bed getting some vein shit fixed. Red Dragons to that dude for still kicking ass and calling to let us all know he is alive and well.

Now I’m going to and molest my wife and blame it on the sleeping pills “Making me act weird.” Psh….Women, am I right?

Well holy shit that was a long ass vacation eh? And as much as you missed the show, I’m sure you missed our nonsensical, feces laced rants about it 4 hours after it ended. As a matter of fact, I’ve got a uncooperative little poo goblin with his foot halfway out the door as I type this. The goblin being a turd and the door being my B-hole. Moving along! What you are all really here to find out, what you have all been waiting to hear is: What’s the deal with Jason’s heart? Not like “Will he ever learn to love someone” kind of heart but “OH MY GOD MY HEART IS GOING TO EXPLODE AND I’M GOING TO DIE PLEASE DON’T TAKE ME ODEN I’VE STILL GOT TO FINISH THIS SEASON OF VIKINGS” kind of heart problems. Sunday night, after a day with the kids and hitting a particularly hard Onnit workout after a week of no training, Ellis felt his heart do a little stutter step….And another….and it wouldn’t stop. Naturally, with Ellis’ history, he freaked out, and went to the hospital. It turns out his heart has something called an Atrial Fibrilation, or A-fib. Read about it here, if you care. Basically, it’s a heart rhythm disorder and has a lot of other complications that come with it. Ellis really thought he was going to die, so he texted Sluggo, who he apparently had been having a beef with that we didn’t know about. He also texted his mom, but she never texted back so, the hell with her. But, you cannot kill The Wing, he just isn’t ready to die, and he plans on sticking around to entertain the shit out of all of us for the foreseeable future and holy shit did they do just that with today’s show.

The intro with Katie was finally revealed, and God damnit, it’s a thing of beauty. It’s like in Hustle and Flow when they brought that pregnant ho in to sing the hook on a song , they just didn’t know they had the pot of gold under their nose their whole time. And Katie is in studio today as well. Anyway, so Ellis’ trip to Thailand. A week is probably too long in the land of Thai, especially because of all the sunglass selling lady boys. Ellis was offered hand jobs left and right and he maybe sort of took a right at one point but hey who the fuck are you to think you wouldn’t take a handjob in Thailand? Don’t let them put their mouth on it before, because their economy is based off blowjobs and sunglasses sales, and that’s a recipe for herpes or some God awful bacterial shit disease. In any case, Katie and Ellis had a good time minus the 20 hour flights and constant lady boy offers.

Some of the quick filler news stories: A woman was arrested for selling heroin out of her hospital room in the ICU. Which if nothing else, you have to respect that hustle. That you can be in such need of immediate medical care, you are in the ICU but still gotta sell that heroin. A family’s easter egg hunt was interrupted by an awful smell that was eventually led to a dead body underneath the porch. Crazy enough, that’s the same way my Prom date was found the next day. This got Ellis to a story about how when he was in Australia and some chick broke his heart so he went in the back yard with a hand scythe and mowed the grass down until he felt better. Also, Jefferey Chapman should change his name to Boob Chapman. He has  “Murder” tattooed on his chest backwards, like Katie. OH! Speaking of Katie!! Ellis let a little something slip that made me almost put my car into the ditch laughing so hard. Did. You. Know. Katie. You know Katie, Jason’s girlfriend. SHE once hooked up with a one Jared Leto. Katie got super embarrassed for banging the lead bitch of 30 Seconds to Mars. And not to mention she must have been wiping off guy-liner out of her crevices for months. She apparently blushed really hard too when Christian, the Spice Girl fucker pressed her about if she went all the way with him.

Jared Leto, after his night with Katie.

Bryan Callen and Brendan Schaub came on the show today. And in case you didn’t know who Bryan Callen is, it’s this guy:

Bryan and Brendan are a good fucking mix for the show. They do their own podcast, called Fighter and the Kid, so they know their way around a talk only show. They started the conversation talking about Bryan and Brendan and how they go out and Brendan picks up dime pieces(their words, not mine) and keeps lady trophies. Bryan was game right out of the gate trying to get to know the show and Ellis, and it was fun listening to him increasingly become more and more interested. Especially when he threw out a story about a chick he had that was sort of into blood play. He presented the story as this crazy out of control thing that happened to which Ellis and Katie replied: “Yeah, we do that.” Thus began Bryan Callen’s slow descent into love and obsession with Katie and Ellis. Bryan had questions upon questions and Katie and Ellis obliged every single one, from deep cutting during sex to blood in their coffee. And holy shit was Bryan into it. By the end of the interview, it seemed like the Jason Ellis Show grew a very famous and very die hard fan. They talked about more than just Jason and Katie fucking though. Ellis opened up finally about the whole O&A fiasco last month. If you didn’t know, Ellis said his show was better than Opie and Anthony’s and was bigger at that. Opie and Anthony got a wad in their twat about it, and Ellis never said a word. Truth is, Tim Sabean called Ellis to ask him not to say anything to squash the beef immediately. So that’s what happened with that. Anyways, back to Bryan and Brendan, Bryan is totally enthralled with Katie and Jason’s passion for each other and Brendan is simultaneously horrified. But no matter the level of interest in Katie and Jason’s sex life, those two guys are fucking great on the show. And I definitely heard the chemistry between the two guys and how that would certainly make for a great podcast. Once again, it’s called The Fighter and The Kid and can be found anywhere podcasts are found.

Also, don’t forget, Jason is taking tomorrow off to go see a top cardiologist to make sure everything is working ok, so we have one more day of best of before a more than likely kick ass Friday show. So don’t be the cunt that whines about how many best of’s there have been this week. Nobody likes you.

Also, Katie hooked up with Jared Leto.