Happy late night Wednesday shitheads. I’d like to take a moment to apologize to anyone who has ever had shit on your head, that was obscene, offensive language and I am deeply sorry and I am going to counsel myself into never saying it again. Evening, fucktards! So what’s up with Ellis and his heart? Well he had that surgery where they burned the valves and now he is getting cleared to do little bits of physical activity here and there. So today he did a 45 minute heavy bag/garage workout and got the old ticker pumping again, so maybe he won’t feel like such a fat bag of saggy shit in a week or so. He’s got another cut on his dick, which is kind of a bummer, but he got it from some chick’s teeth this time because she was sucking a little above her skill level and chipped the shaft. Remember ladies, it’s good to be adventurous and outgoing, but you have to recognize your own skill level before you try any big air tricks. Someone could get hurt. And in this case, that was Jason’s dick, and now he can’t fuck but he can still make out and stuff so he’s totally fine with making out because all dudes love to just make out. Make out.
What I’m really trying to say here is you have to be healthy. Tully has been trying to get his triceps a little bigger and more defined so that they look nice while they rest on his soft, chubby torso. Jason is gonna go to the gym with Benji Madden sometime soon and work on getting rid of those baby arms (You can have bitches say you have huge biceps in your intro all you want, Jas-Cakes, we all know the truth!). But he wants to get a little bigger, without completely DudeBro-ing out at the gym and being that asshole who takes up three areas of the gym so he can do his 3 rep sets in between talking with his bros about lifting and fucking protein powders bros. You know who you are, dicks. Which segues nicely into the next portion of the conversation which was how when you go to any gym, you can certainly walk in and tell by the caliber of people there, what you are going to get out of it. You go to a Weight Watchers gym, you’re gonna see fat people. You go to a Crossfit gym, you’re gonna see some sweet asses and weird clothes. You go to an Advocare rally, you’ll see this:
We build Champions!
Remember, Jason is going to be going live over on OfficialJasonEllis.com at 8AM PST(Pacific Standard Time if you are having enough trouble reading this). He is going to be doing these more often, as long as he doesn’t forget when Jetta has his computer and can get online. He wants that to be sort of a jumping off pre-show type of thing where he can interview people and do weird shit. What he wants to avoid is it just being him answering questions from 30 people every time he goes on. One of the ideas he threw out there was renting a U-Haul and riding around LA with a portable set and interviewing random people in the back of it while they are driving. I assume he will be wearing protective eye wear and a flak jacket for when he gets pepper sprayed and/or shot. Either way, mixing it up on there would be the key to getting more people on the new site. I can really only speak for myself, but I know just the regular videos from the show, the stunts and the occasional one on one interviews with the fans haven’t been enough to bring me over. The idea of a variety type show separate from the radio is a damn good idea, that is going to take planning(to a certain degree) and coordination(as much as one can ask for) on Jason and the rest of the staff’s part. Jason is really motivated to get the new site moving again to gain back all of the subscribers he lost with the website fiasco. But I’m sure in time, we will all be back on the team once again.
Briefly, they covered the Jonah Hill thing, but I’m not going to get into it other than to say Ellis doesn’t understand why someone would say something so stupid, especially because he is famous. Tully agrees it was a stupid thing to say, but he understands how in an instance, someone harassing you for hours every day can get to you, and you can lash out. Jonah Hill is also doing the most lackluster, insincere and fake apology I’ve ever seen, so I guess he knows he is full of shit. Just to clarify, I don’t give two blue fucks about what Jonah Hill said to some asshole paparazzi. It’s such a non issue, and the whole fake outrage and “Gotcha” mentality of this bullshit makes me want to hurl. Fuck em all, I say.
And anyone who looks like em.
Heath Herring called the show today. If you don’t know Heath, I suggest you watch THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW: Heath called in to shoot the shit, really. He has a fight promotion in South America, has kicked the shit out of people who tried fighting him in Casinos, and should probably not be MMA Yosemite Sam, because somehow lawyers always get involved when he is around. I was at the gym doing mad kettlebell swings when I was listening to this so I didn’t write better notes. Don’t like it?
Tommy Rieman was a guest on the show today. Tommy hosted the Hooters Pageant with Ellis a while back, and is a former soldier. These days, Tommy is touring around doing work for JusticeForVets.org , an organization dedicated to getting proper medical care, assistance, and therapy that military vets have by all rights earned with their service to the country. They talked about the growing issue in the VA hospitals (That is just a google link to a barrage of news stories on this topic. There were so many, I couldn’t pick one) and how soldiers coming home with PTSD are all too often denied the proper psychotherapy and treatment they need to get better. In fact, a lot of times the hospitals are now just throwing mountains of pills at the problem and leaving vets to their own devices. Tommy recalled a few stories of friends of his who came home, got hooked on pain pills and booze and committed suicide. He admitted that even he got deep in the booze and morphine and tried to kill himself by driving his truck into a tree. Bottom line, these guys are asked to go serve their country, see and do some horrific shit so that we don’t ever have to, and then are left to sink or swim when they get back with a fraction of the support they were promised upon enlisting. Tommy will be doing work for PatriotFest as well, a concert/festival weekend that benefits the Wounded Warriors Project. Tommy was a really good guest, and I was glad to see the show highlighting an issue that not a lot of people are aware of. I mean, it seems like something that should never happen because of the sacrifices these guys make, but here it is. More people need to be worried about this, than be worried about Jonah Hill saying Faggot. Thanks to the guys for giving this a spotlight. I don’t have any jokes to close this paragraph.
To lighten the mood towards the end of the show, the guys had an arm-wrestling competition to see who reigns supreme in the bicep region. Everybody except for Ellis because, well, let’s be honest: besides Jason you have a Fat, old and arthritic man, a flabby midget made of 75% pizza, a gangly hipster who drives a Jetta, and a man who makes dinner while his wife puts furniture together because he can’t do it. I think Tully won the whole thing but can’t be certain. It might have been Will, but I do know that Cumtard lost to everyone. Even after that embarrassing showing, I am still going to be vocal in my support of Cumtard in Cumtard V. Will at Ellismania X. I don’t think those shins are going to have the wherewithal to stick and move while the Tard picks him apart. #TeamTard #TeamTully
