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Show Recap for Wednesday 2/18/2015

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freaking-out

People are finally going to see my face!

It’s Wednesday and I’m in Vegas, listening to and recapping the show. This feels really odd. Anyway, as you know, there was no shows planned for Monday or Tuesday, so today is kind of like a Monday, Dingo is there. Apollo Creed, Kelly Slater, they had sex together. No, I got that wrong. Bald dudes attract older ladies and lot’s of chicks (young & old) have had sex with Kelly Slater. Chicks with thinning hair are hating life, nobody thinks that’s sexy. When Tully was a teenager, he inquired a stylist about getting the hair on his temples dyed gray. He still thinks it’s a good idea, but he’s just going to wait for it to happen naturally because he’s, at most, 5 years away from natural gray temple hair. Hair costs money and Ellis would rock a good wig, but it has to be next level good looking shit. Continue reading →

Unsigned Bands: No You Are

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So I just barely missed the submission deadline for unsigned bands, which is too bad because I really think I had a chance. Oh well, at least you can still listen to this mind melting track I put down.

Band: bitPimps and the Motherfucking Black Widow Cobra Ninjas From Hell
Song: Mop Bucket Full of Murder

Wilson’s Birthday Lap Dance

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As most of you already know, February 6th was Will’s birthday and the guys got him a gift that they thought he’d really, really love. That gift? A lap dance from Dillion Harper, Will’s fantasy crush. The Fuck Lord himself was caught a little off guard and in no time developed the dreaded “guy cramps.” You’ve no doubt heard the original full audio of the event by now, but for “scientific” purposes, our pal Mr. X required some editing to get to the essential parts. Warning: I am not responsible for how many longer lasting, higher volume, extremely potent wads you may shoot as a result of this audio. You might want to have an emergency contact ready to go on speed dial in case you experience dizziness, heart palpitations, or severe dehydration. And for Barry’s sakes, have your wad towel at the ready.

Show Recap for Monday 2/9/2015

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“Hold up! ERRRRRRR! UHH… ARR… ARR!  WHAT? C’mon!” ~DMX
Who starts a recap  with some DMX speak? This guy! Look, I don’t give it shit if it makes sense or not. You’re missing the point here. It’s DMX, man! Anyway, let’s see what the show has in store for us today and if I hear 1 word in particular, y’all gonna make me lose my mind up in hurr, up in hurr. See what I did there? So what’s the one word I was talking about? “Grammys” If I hear that fuckin word and you’re not talking about your grandmother, I’ll… I don’t know what I’ll do. But you will ALL pay for it, I can promise you that much! Continue reading →

Show Recap for Monday 2/2/2015

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anal-just-the-tip

That face she makes when you just stick the tip in her butt.

What’s up? Who gives a shit. Here are some words. This recap isn’t over just yet, matter of fact, it just started. Ellis has 4 abs right now, a couple are still hiding – but they’ll come out to play. No flabdominals. Ellis gave a quick line read from the villan in the movie Last Action Hero and Dingo thinks he needs to work on it. If anyone would know, it’d be Dingo, right? It took Tully all of 5 minutes before he started shit talking his son. You gotta love it. If his kid ever hears the show, I assume his son will curse him, thereby locking him in a powerful rage before claiming his life and spreading to his wife. Continue reading →