Get It Up Ya!

Edward “Ned” Kelly (June 1854 or 1855 – 11 November 1880) was an Irish Australian bushranger. He is considered by some to be merely a cold-blooded killer, while others consider him to be a folk hero and symbol of Irish Australian resistance against the Anglo-Australian ruling class, and it’s Wednesday!  Dude died trying to do it his own way, and when that time finally came, said “Ah, well, I suppose it has come to this” – No not Jesus, Ned Kelly.  All this from a picture Ellis has and his quest to gain Instagram followers, oh and @wolfmate on Instagram!  You do know he is the Vegemite of radio, and Chad Reed is a fucking sick cunt ledge, check him out.  Ellismate picked up Rawdog a chocolate covered Oreo cause he loves the little guy, and Tully is infatuated, I mean fucking twisted stuck on the Fist of Adonis.  He’d love to pop one on the hood of his car and road trip it, or at least give it to Ellis to put on the coffee table when any boys come over to date his little girl.  That should deter those little fucking punks, unlike the measly parking ticket fines that apparently everyone on the show has gotten recently.  Tully, Rawdog and Ellis all have had their share of parking violations in the past week or so.  What if their were tiers to your fines, stay with Tully, so based on your income is how much your fine would be.  The poor would have small fines, the rich would pay millions, and strippers would just have to fuck whomever they owe…..hey its that or a new AIDS for meter maids (Shit that rhymes)!  Don’t think it’ll work, here’s a real life example for about $103,000.  So good old Rawdiggitydog does embrace his cock suckerness, but is so obscure he can’t admit it – Just see any New Music Tuesday, and any of Arnold’s new movies such as Last Stand or the new Conan.

OLD SCHOOL!!!

Remember that scene from Pulp Fiction with the Bad Mutha Fucker wallet, yeah well this dude is the real owner of said wallet, and trying to be the next President of the Czech Republic, despite not having any political or video gaming background….which would serve him little help in Rawdog’s quiz on, yup you guessed it, video games.  Are you curious the game Mario first appeared in, or what IPS stands for, and who is the bad guy in Resident Evil?  Or when you fag another player it means you killed them!  And you must know the best time to use your shell in Mario Kart.  Can you recite the Play Station controller layout by heart?  From Zelda to Angry Birds and back to Zelda, you feel a hell of a lot cooler listening to this quiz of Josh’s.  While Tully outscored Ellis like 5 to 2, no one was a winner here, not the fans not Rawdog, NO ONE!  And if you can’t find a way to listen to a replay (Which are on Friday mornings and on Sundays too on Faction!), then your not trying hard enough you pussy.

Then shit got serious.  Look kids, your uncle Ellis has had a hard couple of days lately and just needed to get some shit of his chest.  So Tully played shrink while Ellis got it out, fucking no replays since canning Stars 2 (Which had to be done no question!), childhood issues still bothering him as it would anyone, just life ya know.  Well of course this concerned Thomas Haden Church who called in on the spot to cheer up and advise his good buddy.  It shows man, Thomas is gay for Ellis, I mean gayer than you and i are for him, and thats gay!  Of course no call from Thomas goes without some jewel, i give you Tully the “iconic pillar of entertainment”.  It was meant for them all, but too bad THC its Tully’s now.  Not too bad is the possibility that Thomas has something lined up for the crew in an upcoming horror whore movie.  Tons of other callers showing their support, but not the Fake Ellis.  That dude is so mysterious, and we got more confirmation this dude is real, well you know what i mean.  Callers have seem him in person, tattoo’d n all with beanies n chains on, eating vegemite n all that shit yo!  Fake Ellis has been spotted at Ceaser’s, The Riviera, The Wynn, etc. etc.  The only way you can tell the two apart is one is a dick, and the other is the sweetest dude ever.  Well that and the ink is real on one, and apparently done by magic marker for the other – really dude?  Fake Ellis, if your reading this, please PLEASE call the show and rejoice us with your stories and shit, and you’ll be put in the prize chamber.

Will’s Shiny Calf?

Is Steven Spielberg’s mom still alive?  Actually yes she is, BOOM!  So you know how Tully likes to help give teen advice, well he took it a step further and answered some Q’s from Mrs. Manners.  More variety in these questions kids, and Ellis really had to ‘be the bitch’ on this one.  What advice would you give a 60year old dude who offered, his niece and her girlfriend, his sperm for a future baby…and was upset when they had a child on their own using a different donor who was NOT in the family tree?  Doesn’t matter, just reassure Rawdog you’ll be glad to donate your sperm to him and his future wife, ya know!  I must of tuned out for a second cause the show went to a bad place with Will blowing everyone at the Faction Holiday party.  Raunchy sex, ball grabbing, Freddie Mercury,  and hand twisting BJ’s were the topic of discussion until Rawdog admitted he hates cunnilingus.  Despite him being the Master of Oral, and his numerous encounters with Joanna Angel, its just not his thing.  Staying out of jail just ain’t Katt Williams thing these days either, as he was arrested again…..in Hollywood News, fuck yeah!  What else, ok, Kat Von D bought future ex Deadmau5 a sweet new ride besides herself.  Charlie Sheen parties with everyone and anyone, including the mayor of LA.  Nothing much in the way of Final Calls, except that Ellis has never had a gerbil in his ass, which is nice to know.  However, its not nice to know that I can’t unlive that one night your mom decided gerbils just weren’t doing it for her anymore…..poor Spot hasn’t been the same ever since, OH!