Welcome to the Dog Center Re-Cap, and now fuck that shit. Ellis was a little late this afternoon but he got in and that is what counts. Ellis was late I assume because he was sparring Mayhem and he said that he is faster, stronger, and has more stamina than he has ever had in his life. As Ellis arrived he noticed that something was wrong with the console, his headphones and everything else in the studio. It would seem that Shoebox is throwing one hell of a party in there after the show ends. Some exciting news for the EllisFam that are to broke to go to Ellismania, the bikini contest on Friday will be aired live on Ellismania.com for FREE! That’s right folks, listen to scantily clad women tell you what Mr T means to them.
The worlds heaviest woman, 643 pounds, got so fat because she got dumped and started eating but when she got famous for being a tub of lard her ex-boyfriend came back. Now because he is such a chubby chaser they are bumping uglies seven times a day and she has now lost a whoppin 100 pounds. Way to go champ and thanks for taking one for the team. Mayhem came in about midway through the show and recanted his epic tale of danger and excitement from his recent camping trip to Yosemite National Park. Sometime during the trip his girlfriend managed to wander off and get lost. She ended up spending the night snuggled up to a rock in near freezing temperatures. If this chick can hang with Jason then this night in the woods was probably a walk in the park. Doc Banger made his debut on Shade 45 with Rude Jude and unfortunately if you didn’t change the channel, all you would have heard is New York screwin the pooch again. Tully called them, gave them some strong words, talked about their mommas, and BOOM the show was back just in time for the Love It or Hate It segment. Surprisingly enough, they hated it. I would love to tell you what all was said, but this is the part where I direct you to our friend, @Cobratitis, who has it here.
I want to crawl inside your butt hole and live there like a gerbil.
Daniel Tosh made some chick mad for making a joke about rape or something, apparently he didn’t yell surprise so she got all butt hurt and now he had to apologize. The biggest crime in this is that he has yet to apologize to the millions of others that he constantly rapes in the ear holes with his TV show. Shannon Gunz came into the Swing House today to get things ready for Friday and Ellis called her into the studio. After some friendly banter they started talking about the bikini contest and then asked Shannon some sample questions. The biggest shocker in this entire thing is that she doesn’t know who Mr. T is, doesn’t know at least one racist joke, was a taco slammin cookie licker in college, and she doesn’t know any “Yo Momma” jokes. Tully, Jason, and Josh really had some good ones, but do you know the true origin of the “Yo Momma” joke? They’re all about yer mum, except the one about shitting in a toilet, we all know she just shits her pants, OH!