Wow! Will is not amused with you crackas.
Holy hell, it’s Monday again. What a day it’s been so far, Jeebus. Do bears know they smell like shit? Do horses always smell like shit? Dingo takes two shits per day. There’s some movie James Franco wrote that has a guy shitting in the woods, wiping his ass with a stick, and fucking dead women. Dark and twisted movies are right up Ellis & Dingo’s alley, it’s inspired Ellis to want to make more movies. The guys relived filming of The Woodsman and how much of a great time they had, laughing, getting lost, and watching Christian get mad at Rawdog. Will reminded Ellis that a lot more people are listening than he thinks and that a lot of those people don’t even know what EllisMania is. Time to check out that theory by asking Hotdog what EllisMania is, which is rad. Will ended up giving everyone his explanation of what EllisMania is, halfway through, he says Ellis can explain it better. Dingo brings up a valid point, does Will look forward to EllisMania or is he more looking forward to gambling? “Both.” said Will. Nobody ever really see’s Will at EllisMania, well, except for Erika Ashley, she say him. She saw him big time! Anyway, Will continued to try and explain EllisMania, more specifically, the musical chair fight – in that condescending way of his. Dingo is confused, which caused some confusion for others as well, go figure. However, he’s not confused because he’s been! Pound for pound, son. Pound for pound. There’s going to be an EllisMania Hall of Fame ceremony of sorts this year. Abductees could include old pal Scott Greene, you remember SG with the triple D! Of course Butterballs is another abductee, along with Crazy Jerr, Benji Madden, the ladies in the Humongous Bitch Fight, and more.
Goal: No need for a winged toilet seat.
Johnny Depp was at an awards show in Hollywood and was drunk as fuck, swaying, slurring, and swearing – it was Depptastic. Guess who has some guarded information about Johnny Depp? That’s right, The Jason Ellis Show’s own connection to the stars, Dingo. Actually, he just expressed his opinion, but still, if anyone should have an opinion on Johnny Depp, it’s Dingo. Cumtard says he likes Johnny Depp, but so far all he has had to say about the guy is mean stuff, poor Depp. Getting lambasted by Cumtard has got to sting his delicate feelings. Of course Tully hates Depp, says he’s no Richard Grieco. We know Tully’s a joker, but you know he’s probably also pretty serious about his hate for Depp. This turned into talk about various actors and actresses doing commercials for shit like Yoplait and Proactiv. Talk about The Biggest Loser fight at EllisMania, about half the people dropped out after EllisMania was originally cancelled, but now it’s back on and so the guys decided to try and check in with some contestants. I was hoping it wouldn’t be mean to make the contestants dress up as their favorite unhealthy snack, but the guys never addressed it on the show – so I assume that it is mean. Hey, there’s jewelry in some WolfscRUB packs, so be on the look out for that so you don’t let it get washed away down the drain. Gymkhana 7, in case ya’ don’t know, now ya’ know, n-bomb! Bonus #1: Ken Block will be calling into the show. Bonus #2: Ken didn’t call into the show. At least on time. Bonus #3: Ken didn’t call on time because Ellis tried to email the VIP line to Ken. Bonus #4: Ellis sent out an email about booking Ken on the show at 2PM to Tully, Will, Cumtard, and his ex-wife. Bonus #5: Ken finally called into the show.
When you’re trying to get noticed by the “Butt Judge”
People have been asking how they can be a part of EllisMania 10, so just for those people, there is an email address they can write to: EllisMania10@gmail.com Bill Cosby is still in the news for not addressing all those rape allegations or his potentially lazy glass eyeball. Whoever runs his Twitter erroneously asked the Internet to take some photos and make memes of Bill, which the Internet did, but they were all rape jokes. Whoops! Sorry Bill! While we’re on the topic of rape and fucking at work, in comes Will – who claims to never have fucked any pussy at work. Wow! However, he would totally understand if someone were to do that, still no admission of guilt, but understanding. Okay, maybe back in the day he might have done some sexy time at work, but nothing like pulling a Cosby. Allegedly. You can go to Ellis’ soundcloud page to hear some clips from the show, but right now Ellis has to do some intro’s and outro’s for all the clips. Ellis doesn’t want to do it because he’s not going to just say “It’s Faction with Jason Ellis on channel 41”, there needs to be more “fucks” and “shit” and “balls” and all that. Will Kevin Smith be on the show Wednesday, or next Wednesday, or the Wednesday after that? Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure, he’ll need an intro. The show will be in Austin, Texas this weekend. They got an invite from a BBQ joint there, but it’s vegan. That’s cool if that’s your thing, but when you’re going to one of the top 5 BBQ locations, you want meat right in your face. So no vegan BBQ for the boys during their short visit to Austin. So MMA / WWE news, shit’s getting wacky with the gimmicks in Bellator. There was children singing, there was some rap metal douchery, it was all cringe. Tito got fined $2500 for unsportsmanlike behavior when he tossed water on Bonnar. In the UFC, Leslie Smith’s cauliflower ear was falling off her head and the fight was stopped because, eww. In other eww news, some dude we will now call MMA Mud Butt shit his pants again and got submitted, with poo just caked in his crack. All fighters know that they have to please the crowd, you please the crowd and suddenly you become “the peoples champ”. Tully and Ellis caught on to this and found it pretty entertaining. Listen below to hear Tully’s rendition and Ellis order a Frappuccino!
Download (link to MP3)
