Ever get the feeling that you’re not being told the truth? Well I hate to burst your bubble but everybody lies. Your mom lies, your boss lies, everybody lies. Except NYA and doctors, we tell you how it is straight up, unless you’re a hypochondriac, then we’re gonna lie our asses off to you just so your crazy ass leaves. Tully’s cat has AIDS, it’s cat AIDS not
people AIDS so I guess that’s not as bad. Maybe now he’ll wrap his little kitty schlong before trying to stick it in all the loose pussy out in the streets. It’s Tully’s birthday tomorrow/today/yesterday, depending on when I finally get this posted. For his birthday he got a pack of Doritos, a bottle of Johnny Walker Platinum and black, and a blow-job machine. Kevin tried the blow-job machine out for Tully and crammed his limp noodle dick into it while watching ass gape porn and said he could see how this could be awesome of he was hard. My only question was how could he not be hard with all those giant holes up on the screen, ohhh yeahhhh, ssssssss, just like that, look in de hole, mmmmm yeah.
They talked a whole lot about Jetta’s unintimidating beard but I wasn’t able to hear enough to tell you why it’s unintimidating but some how they decided that if a guy can’t grow a legit beard in three months then he can’t grow a real beard.
In Aussie News, Aussies don’t give a fuck about Robin Thicke. During the break the guys hired a male stripper to dance for Tully but apparently this dude was high as balls and refused to swing his meat in front of the birthday boy. We have audio of the hired dong disaster. Christian came in with the new music of the month and some of it was really awesome (Mastadon) and some of it was really really bad (J Lo). And then there was Pantera live at some English concert remastered on vinyl. Christian wasn’t able to play any clips because there’s no turn table in the studio but they did play a YouTube video of the concert and it just shows how Pantera was THE most kick ass metal band to ever walk out on stage. Some may argue but they can just walk on home boy.
In Pot News Berkeley stores now have to give out 2% of their total sales to the poor and “homeless” for free. Moronissey stopped in to wish Tully a happy birthday and sang him a little song. After this massive superstar left they did an impersonation contest, much the same as Stupid Tits used to do, and soon it turned into Hotdog and Jetta impersonating someone as they act out the scenario of having their asshole sewn together so they can poop into each other. This was hilarious but not as funny as the first time I heard someone request to be pooped into, at least it was funny until I realized that yer mum was serious, OH!