Cumtard’s been having dreams lately, dreams of sucking his own dick. Professionals analyzed his dreams and it’s revealed that Cumtard is merely seeking to achieve oneness and eventually, he’s going to succeed. Have a listen.
Welcome to the final recap ever, or for the next week or so. They guys will be going on vacation and so I’m taking this opportunity to say goodbye. Sometimes it’s hard to let the things you love go, that’s why I keep them chained up in the basement. Nothing says love like Munchausen Syndrome. Ellis and his race team rented a track so they can practice next week and become even faster with far less yard sales, after that he is going to Palm Springs to relax and not look at his phone, at all, not even if there’s boobies on it. Continue reading
Fuck yeah! Body didn’t float back up!
What’s up douches and douchettes? Is that even a thing? If a dude can be a douche, does that make a chick a douchette? I don’t know, anyway, that’s not the point. The point is it’s Thursday and I’m me and this is a recap. Madonna just sounds sexy and sultry when speaks normally. I still can’t get the image of her super hairy 80’s bush out of my mind though, so that puts a damper on things. Madonna used to be fun, Tully wonders why she had to go and get a funectomy. Ellis lost interest right around the Vogue era, he didn’t get it, and frankly, none of us did. Continue reading
Getting that Devil’s Itch!
Happy Wolfknives Wednesday! I’m here to turd in your brain with words. Larry King will not be on the show today, but he was supposed to, so there’s that. Larry King and his 40th wife have a podcast together, which means that literally everyone now has a podcast. Larry King can’t go to the beach, he’ll get the Devil’s Itch. Sammy Sosa doesn’t go to the beach, he’ll get tan – like really, really tan. Somehow, this all spiraled off into urban legends and serial killers – I don’t know how the dots connected, but somehow that’s what happened. Discussion raged on about serial killers and serial killing, serial killers of today versus serial killers of serial killing past, and the future of serial killers doing their serial killing. This naturally progressed into a conversation about people driving like dicks and roll cages in cars with 5 point harnesses, which in turn lead the conversation to Fast & Furious 7, which lead to Adam Sandler and comedy movies. BOOM! The circle of life has been completed. Continue reading
i mistakenly thought I’d have a ton more time to do this today..but effing work got in the stinking way!! God..fuck that noise.
Consider this a preview of what’s coming in the recap later on:
Ellis’ eyebrows are too long and he wants to be more punny
More self ass fucking
Rude Jude, a chastity belt, and ball kicking
Sam Schacher is as adorable as ever, making candles, being all ESPN-y and is gonna fight Kenda Perez at EM11 this October!! Holy awesome.
Sam decides to put makeup on Kevin and recommends he get a spray tan
Burt Kreisher is hilarious and would rather fuck a carrot than a cucumber but he has a god awful laugh that made me cringe every time I heard it.
Burt had a fall and thought he broke his back…but he sustained no injuries. At all.
Burt got to meet Tony Hawk and geeked out so hard, but got Tony to agree to be on his tv show.
Ellisfam, I swear this will be a proper recap in the very near future!!! It was a good show (in my humble opinion) life has just gotten in my way.