Show Re-cap For Monday 8/6/2012

Now that Ellis is back from vacation and show is once again live, so is this mu’fuggin’ re-cap, you thug-ass, gangster-ass, bitches. Let’s just get right into it and start this bitch off like Super Fly TNT. Well that was the plan, but as the show started off, Ellis asked why us moron’s listen to him because he stuck M&M’s in his dick, oh and we’re obsessed and psychotic! Kind of sounds like a downer, if you didn’t know the show of course. It wasn’t a downer to me though, because I’m pumped up that the show is back and I can bombard twitter with my bullshit. He brought Tully (who had brunch next to Jeff Goldblum) back a gift from the duty free shop, a bottle of Johnny Walker green label. Ellis got a gift from @nickyknac, it was a painting of Rawdog. And all I got was this lousy blog. Sounds like Ellis got bombarded by people in Cabo, wanting him to do all sorts of activities as well as to buy some cocaine. Turns out the activities were good and the cocaine was bad. Ellis was getting recognized while on vacation, not by the locals, but by other tourists – most of whom recognized him from his appearances on The Howard Stern show. See, now that shit he said at the start of the show makes more sense (and now we’ve come full circle).

Ellis got to do some shit for KTLA where he had a chance to screen the new Expendables 2 movie and meet a few of the actors, such as Jean-Claude Van Damme, who claimed there was talk about a match with Georges St. Pierre. Everyone done barfing from laughing so hard? What a goddamned joke! Just because your old-ass plays a tough guy in a movie, doesn’t mean you’re really ready for some fighting action. According to Ellis, Dolph Lundgren has a big fuggin’ dome, and looks like he’s kind of a badass because of a scar he has somewhere on his face – but his nose is straight so he can’t be too bad – that or he’s rich enough for plastic surgery. There was talk about the UFC fights, which I haven’t gotten to see yet so I barely paid attention during that part, sorry. Hey, according to researchers – if your pupils are dilated like you’re tripping balls – it’s because you’re a homosexual. It’s science!

Ellis was banging Katie (while wearing his knee brace) on an outside bed when he heard somebody coming into their room. He jumps off her, she goes to talk to the dude with the quesadillas and he ends up slipping on the marble floor, tweaked his Mayhem knee and started screaming. The quesadilla man probably didn’t even flinch being that I’m sure he’s walked in on numerous people boning in their hotel room – at least that’s what I gather from reading the Letters To Penthouse articles. In other Katie news, Ellis lost a bet with Katie about his book being in a library. Sure enough, it was there – so she peed on his head. Now that’s a fucking bet for some “salty” characters. [insert laugh track] Rawdog was at the beach with his girlfriend, they’re both reading, and suddenly Rawdog starts experiencing pain in his thumb – it was a bee sting! Amazing story of courage, hope, and manliness.

Dingo was on the show today, he went to his older brother’s wedding in Australia, turns out his brother’s wedding turned into a bit of an intervention. Gotta love the family drama coming out at the best/worst times it possibly can. As bad as it sounds, the consensus seems to be that it was a good time for it to come about – at least in the sooner rather than later sense. Rawdog watched Cumtard drink his friend’s puss. Yup, I know you’re not surprised in the least, and neither am I. Apparently his friend got a really bad sunburn, to the point where his puss sack was leaking and that’s when Cumtard came into the scene. Not to be out-done, callers into the show resumed with their typical quality. Nobody can make a complete sentence or gather their thoughts long enough to spit out more than 2 words on a bunch of “uhhhh” shit. One of more of them tried to say something about Chick=fil-A’s secret seasoning or some shit, another few tried to ask “what’s the big deal?” about all of the latest Chick-fil-A news, and then I went to take a shit so I’m sure I missed something. And that about does it for this re-cap, the only thing left to do is congratulate you on your mother’s appearance in the Olympics. It must have been a real honor to see her fat ass as the helicopter in the opening sequence. OH!

EllisFam Interviews

I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

Steve (@nFb_m00c0w)

  1. Where do you live? Tinley Park Illinois
  2. What is your occupation? Building Commissioner
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. I’m a retired Cop due to injury. I like to ride, party and be loud. I was in a motorcycle accident in September 2010. That’s what ended my pig career.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? Right around 5 years.
  5. How did you discover TJES? I got a free trial of XM and just happened to stumble upon the greatest show in the universe.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? Between Ellis’ fucked up stories, Tullys twisted humor and RawDogs stupidity how could anybody stop listening?
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? Yes. After my motorcycle accident I fell into a bad depression. The only thing I looked forward to  everyday whas TJES. Three show actually helped pull me out of it. Ellis constantly pounding HTFU into everyones squishy little brains really made an impact on me.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? I come, I fuck shit up, I leave. Love ya EllisFam!

Sean Parkin (@phenixphyre)

  1. Where do you live? Chaska, MN
  2. What is your occupation? Project Manager
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. Have 2 kids, a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Hopes to one day be running my own business, just need a good idea.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? Around 5 years. Started listening after Ellismania
  5. How did you discover TJES? I really dont remember how I discovered. I either saw a video clip of the show or just happened to change the channel to Faction and was hooked!
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? Ellis keeps is real and doesn’t have cheesy ass crap on his show like they do on testical radio. Plus I have somethings in common with RawDog and Tully is hilarious!!!
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? Yes the show has impacted my life. I learned to be more determined and learn how to HTFU. I deal with anxiety and its nice to of someone who deals with it and has done so much with his life!
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? Ellis is the fucking man, RED DRAGONS and EllisFam is the best family!!!

 

If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.