Daily Archives: July 18, 2012

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 7/18/2012

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As many of you are hobbling through this week, some still suffering your post EllisMania depression, we learn that Jason’s love tap he received from Mayhem is a torn MCL. For those not too familiar with human anatomy, the MCL is the doohickey that is connected to the thingamajig and controls the whatsit. Pretty basic stuff. Ellis’s vacation in Cabo is set and he is looking forward to it. He believes that he will return a changed man, and Mexico has a strange way of doing just that. I myself can never look at a donkey and a middle aged Senorita in fishnets the same way again. Matthew McConaughey was mentioned and due to the noise of heavy machinery all i heard was bits and pieces that not only declare but support the reason that he is one of the coolest dudes ever.

Paul Gaylord, from Prineville, Oregon, got the Bubonic Plague when he was wrestalin with some pusssayyyyy! If you live in Oregon and like your fingers don’t pet the stray kitty. This public service announcement has been brought to you by this guy. A pair of girls was attacked by a beaver. I swear I’ve heard this joke in a bar somewhere. And in New Guinea there are Cannibal Cults, not to be confused with Cannibal Corpse, that are eating the dicks of men, not to be confused with Nickelback. Also in New Guinea there is a fish that loves the nuts, but unfortunately we all know fish don’t have lips so this is a rather toothy fellating. Wear a cup. Speaking of sucking nuts, Chick-Fil-A doesn’t back gay marriage. In fact the owner or CEO or Head Fucktard came out in the press saying that they don’t think its right or some shit. This is going to start a massive protest at their chicken sandwich franchises and they should be prepared for absolutely fabulous looking picketers, glitter bombings, and the endless hours of Cher songs.

Today was Worlds Greatest Wednesday and the subject was, The Worlds Greatest Thing To Do In The Last Hour Of Your Life. And your final top 10 are…..

10. Hunting deer with a cruise missle

9.   Have gay sex in a Chick-Fil-A resturant

8.   Make a celebrity sex tape with Oprah on a pile of money

7.   Smoke a joint with Willie Nelson

6.   Viewkkake: Shooting your load on the entire cast of The View

5.   Impregnating maids with Arnold Schwarzenegger

4.   Real life “Fuck, Marry, Kill”

3.   Charity jam a bunch of hot chicks with AIDS and Herpes

2.   Create a rollerblading contest, hosted by Nickelback, and blow up the building

and your winner, thanks to Shantanee and her mega 10 million vote, is…..

1.   Frame Jay Leno for murder!

I’m really going to need some Preparation H

Speaking of murder, I saw yer mum at the Chick-Fil-A, and no, she wasn’t giving blow jobs for sandwiches, that’s uncalled for. She was however, taking bets on how many she could fit up her slam box. Want to know the winning number? So do I, when I last checked she was still cramming them up her greasy snatch hole like it was a garbage disposal, OH!

EllisFam Interviews

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I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

Kimmy D (@KimDultz)

  1. Where do you live? Boise, Idaho
  2. What is your occupation? Nanny and metal artist
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. I make cool shit outta metal with fire. Also… I peed my pants the morning after I drank a whole bottle of wine for the first time ever. I was 22 and at a 2 week art camp type dealio and the bathroom was up some stairs and down a dock.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? 4 years
  5. How did you discover TJES? My husband heard Ellis on Stern and introduced me to him.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? Stress reliever, escape from reality, and, of course, he’s mega fucking hilarious.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? I now do at least 20 push ups every day so I can get rid of my Duff arms. TJES has also introduced me to tons of fucking awesome people. It’s going to make me a lot more poor in about two weeks from now though… But it’ll be totally fucking worth it. Oh, and I say cunt now.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? I pole dance and have a pole in my house. Also, I’m a huge Greek mythology geek and have a half sleeve with Zeus and Athena.

ScottievsNY (@ScottiefrmNY)

  1. Where do you live? Long Island NY
  2. What is your occupation? Driving a truck
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. Ex drug dealer, addict, criminal at the same time a Great husband and Dad. Loyal and friendly mother fucker
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? About 3 yrs
  5. How did you discover TJES? Wifey had XM for O&A when I would borrow her car I’d flip through the stations stumbled upon this Aussie dude one day. Hooked ever since
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? Fell in love with these dudes NO HOMO
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? Ellis attitude and verbal smack downs kinda pointed me towards a better lifestyle. I need tough love
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? I was outta control and would call in Alot. Past couple months have been absolute hell for me. But TJES and the ellisfam got me through the roughest times ever. and for that I’m forever in debt to all of you…respect…1

If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.