Show Re-cap For Monday 7/9/2012

Guess who… it’s me, bitPimps! I’m back and ready to lick you where you shit, you motherfuckers! Did you all miss me? You better have. EllisMania 8 is this coming weekend, some of you will be there in Vegas, some of you will be watching on PPV on Ellismania8.com, and some of you will be living vicariously through others. The god-damned A6K is being worked on again, one can only hope that means that it is being turned into a port-a-potty. Ellis has been looking at places to rent and is pretty much letting his 7 year-old daughter pick out the place, so most likely it’s going to have some kick ass shit that kicks all kinds of asses. Rawdog is still putting his penis inside of a girl’s vagina on a pretty regular basis, so shout out to that stud muffin. Ellis still has a hole in his dick from blue balling a whore about a month ago, before getting back with Katie. And dry hand jobs are fucking 6th grade bullshit, and that’s all there is to it.

If you watched the UFC this weekend, you saw Chael lose to Silva. I’d feel like a fucking moron if I talked as much shit as Chael and then lost. Equally, I’d feel the same way if Steven Seagal was part of my fucking entourage and shit. Speaking of Steven Seagal, he looked like Steven Van Zandt, he looked fucking ridiculous. This was Tito’s last fight before retiring, and looks like he made the right choice because he lost his fight against Forrest. In other fight news, a rapper beat up another rapper, amazing right? The Game apparently threw fists at 40 Glocc, and there were a lot of n-bombs thrown as well – but nobody got shot son, so according to Ice Cube, it was a good day. Canada is banning foreign strippers in favor of home grown, beady eyed, whiter than rice on a paper plate in a snow storm, women. I predict the one strip club in Canada will be going back to trading furs and pelts within the next arriving Nor’easter. Oh, and in preparation for his fight with Ruby Renegade, Rawdog will not smoke any pot until after the fight, he’ll just eat pot. Way to put the hammer down and take thing seriously, my man!

Apparently some softballers are into TJES, a whole gaggle of them are listening at any given time so just be aware of that. Some dumb bitch with big tits from Australia turned herself into authorities after trying to commit robbery. I’m not sure why I even repeated that, it’s not news or noteworthy, I mean besides her having big tits. I guess what it boils down to here is that if you have nice tits, I’ma talk about ya. Why do I get the feeling that watching the Playboy channel is like watching Cinemax? Neither have money shots, so basically it’s like going to a strip club and getting a boner and leaving with blue balls, only a lot worse. Would you blow your best friend if they really, really, wanted it and begged you for it, and they were in a really tough spot? I didn’t think so, by the way, I’m not sure our friendship is working out anymore. Just kidding. We’ll always be more than friends, we’re digital lovers. One thing that is no joke, it’s the meat curtains your mom has for pussy lips. They starred in the movie Rocky, in the meat locker scene, getting punched by Rocky. OH!

EllisFam Interviews

I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

Tara O’Blanc (@TaraIsSmiling)

A brief look into how all of you crazy motherfuckers came into my life and made me spend money to fly to Las Vegas, NV just to hug the fuck out of some of you….

  1. Where do you live? I live in the dirty, dirty South. Louisiana. Born and raised. The culture, the hospitality and the food keep me here. Moved once. Hated it. Came right back. Minus a husband. We’ll get to that.
  2. What is your occupation? I am the Sales Assistant for a company that manufactures and distributes water and wastewater treatment chemicals all over the state. I’ve been back here a year. Worked here a total of four. Love the people, love my job but I’d rather get paid to spend time with my kids, my man or party.
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. As above mentioned, I had once upon a time moved to Houston, TX with my ex-husband, he didn’t treat me very well to say the least, I wanted to come home and he didn’t want to follow. So with that I packed up myself, my kids and the few belongings I chose to keep and moved home, scared shitless and broken without a leg to stand on. During that time I had reached the lowest point of my life and made some extremely poor decisions. Drugs, alcohol, thoughts of ending it all. Completely lost.
  4. How did you discover TJES? On the way home from our first business conference, Shannon and I were listening to the show and I was cracking up laughing. I knew nothing of Jason or the show or Ellisfam. She gave me a brief rundown and history and shortly thereafter she convinced me to join Twitter to fill up my time at work because I was “working too fast”. So that’s what I did.
  5. How long have you listened to TJES? A year later, these incredible people that I’ve come to know have pulled me from the depths and helped save me more and more every day.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? Each of us have our own trials and tribulations and seeing some of the things that some of you have risen above, inspires me more and more to be the best version of myself.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? You have all taken me into the family with open, loving arms and sent me words of encouragement and strength daily. You guys have reached out to me when I felt like I had no one else in the world. Closer a family than my blood. For that I can never thank any of you enough. Hell, I even fell in love with one of you crazy ass people. I hope that I can be there for all of you the way you have been there for me.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? I don’t get to listen to the show as often as I would like but when I do…I laugh my ass off. I realize that we’re all the same. I look forward to spending next weekend in Vegas at EllisMania and I hope it’s only the beginning of years of annual debauchery for myself! See you fuckers there!
    Much Love! Tara is INDEED smiling!
John Flath (@TwistedMetalFab)

 

  1. Where do you live? The Beautiful(?) Garden State New Jersey, near Philadelphia.
  2. What is your occupation? I am a welder/fabrication for Big Bill’s Truck Shop in Deptford NJ. I also own and run Twisted Metal Fabrications also in Deptford NJ. Where I build and repair race cars and race components.
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. I am a 40 year old divorced Dad of the most awesome 12 y/o daughter on the planet(biased opinion of course). I am a huge MMA (read  fanatic), Football,Hockey and Baseball fan. I have been a welder for over 25 years and have a degree in Mechanical Engineering from Rutgers University(Go Knights!). Until recently I ran my own business where I built not only race cars, but custom motorcycles,cars and trucks. Even the occasional hot rod cop car or 2 LOL. My work have been featured in magazines,TV,and a music video or 2. I am currently finishing a hand built motorcycle for a local charity to raffle off to raise funds for their efforts. That was the good, but with good comes bad. I was the victim of abuse and molestation by members of my family throughout my childhood. I spent 18 months in prison when I was 21 for tearing a guys ear off in a bar fight. I have been a drug abuser, and had a heroin and meth addiction . I have attempted suicide over 15 times. While most of these issues were in my youth,(I am clean for 15 years) I still deal with daily the residual effects of the wreckage that is my past.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? For around 5 years now.
  5. How did you discover TJES? I bought a Dodge Ram that had Sirius in it, I loved the mix of music played on Faction. I would hear Ellis on tony Hawk’s show.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? First and foremost, its the fact anything can happen at anytime. Nothing is scheduled or scripted. Makes for real moments. I identify closely with the show crew on various levels.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? It has on several occasions. Its made me feel like I am not alone in dealing with issues. Its also taught me #HTFU is not just a slogan.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? #EllisFam, TRUE #EllisFam are the most amazing people on earth.

If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.