Today, Ellis is on steroids, Rawdog is stressed, Tully is a beautiful man, Jude is inside your sister, and you ingest large quantities of semen. Sad news, Ellis got an email last night, he has been invited to be a judge at a Hooter’s bikini contest in Miami – and the sad part was that it is on the same date as EllisMania 8. Shout out to @emilyinSD for sending in a horrific story of an ultra-Orthadox Jewish man who performs circumcisions and then uses his mouth to clean the baby’s penis wound. Go throw up and when you get back, jump down to the next paragraph where we’ll be talking about something else.

It was new music day today, I don’t have a full list but I’ll make a few quick comments. Meat Loaf’s new music sounded like a two dicks were going to be touching each other. Say Anything (was that their name) sounded like Death Cab for Cutie so very emo. Cannibal Corpse sounded like your typical death metal warble garble. Moving on, there was talk about the different fights that are happening at EM8. One of which was the “husband and wife” fight, which I’m taking full credit for as I had suggested that via Twitter ages ago (December 15, 2011) and Tully liked the idea. How do I know for sure? Because I remember when my ego gets a boner and because my OCD made me go look up dates. Anyway, that’s unimportant. The important thing is it looks like it might be happening and I know @e3guzman (December 16, 2011) and @Hollow_NorCal (December 28, 2011) have been pushing for it.

And that does it for the show, this re-cap, your sister’s smoked out clit, your empty keg of semen, and your mom’s micro erection after become a ladyboy. OH!