No shit, I’ve been asked the same or a variation of the same question since the start of the show today. Which is fine, I’m glad people are asking questions, so please feel free to keep asking your questions. However, instead of typing the same answer 50 times over, I thought it would be easier to just make a quick post to address these questions.
So here’s what everyone is asking about. Ellis mentioned he was all by himself today, everyone is either sick or fired and there are “no more producers.” That left everyone wondering what he meant by that, did that mean Cumtard was fired too? No, it didn’t mean that at all. Let’s state what we know and what has been said so far:
Jetta was fired last week. He is gone. That is official.
Cumtard took this week off. HE took this week off. He was not told to take the week off.
Officially, Cumtard has not been fire as of this post.
Will Cumtard come back? Nobody knows, ask Cumtard.
Where was Tully today? Sick. His entire household is sick.
All that is why it was only Ellis, Will, & Hotdog today.
When Ellis said, “no more producers”, it wasn’t to say Cumtard had been fired, it was to say that nobody that would normally help produce the show, was there today. Hence, no producers.
A new “real” producer has been acquired, it is just a matter of paperwork before this new producer comes to work on the show.
Today’s show felt like a throw-back to the old days when Ellis was alone by himself in box, left to tell stories and entertain listeners on his own. It turned out better than most would have imagined. Ellis does have a gift for radio, make no mistake.
That’s about it. The rest would be speculation. I could speculate on what I think, but in the end, that means nothing. I’m just some dude that would be making assumptions. So who really cares? We’ll find out what the future holds, that is one thing we can be sure of.
So… here we are again, another Monday recap for you to wrap your brain around. Show started off with a hiccup or two, sound issues – someone has been fucking with the boards and things might sound a little wonky, but let’s roll with it and make it a bit for the first 15 minutes of the show. The engineer came in to fix the audio, so Ellis apologized and played 1 more song so the engineer can work his magic. Apparently there was a bet that Ellis wouldn’t be here today since he went racing this weekend. Ellis had himself a pretty good weekend racing. The guys mentioned the untimely death of Brett but didn’t want to discuss how or details because he doesn’t have 100% for sure facts, they also mention the untimely death of Eric the Midget. With all the sad out of the way, and hopefully all of the bad out of the way too, the show pushed on.
Who has been fucking with the board over the weekend?
Ellis was thrilled with North Carolina, he loved the people, the fans, the food, all of it was mind blowing to him. Tiger has given Ellis the sickness, so that’s a bummer, but it is what it is – diseases man. So on to the races. Ellis yardsaled once like he’s known to do sometimes. He flipped the car end over end, got a bit of a concussion and some whiplash, and was left upside down for about 10 minutes. That part was on filmed too, so you’ll be able to easily spot him, he’ll be the one yardsaling like champ. He wrote that car off, which is pretty spectacular because it doesn’t happen very often, at least to all the other racers. It took him a bit to realize that his car was in 2WD and there was a little button to push that put it in 4WD. As soon as he was in 4WD, he’s like “holy shit! This is handling so much better!” Go figure. He gets done with his race and people are telling him that he qualified for the main, and he doesn’t believe it, there must be a mistake. He doesn’t even know how he did and is happy with that alone, much less anything else that may be coming up. By the way, these races will be televised on CBS or some shit and he’ll let everyone know when as soon as he knows. The people at the track had told Ellis if they have a spare car, they will give it to him. Turns out this dude in the Pro AM class is willing to give Ellis his buggy to race in. BOOM! Ellis qualified for the main again! Turns out that dude was a crazy redneck and ended up crashing his shit too and trashed it, so no car for Ellis again. In the end, Ellis went through 3 different cars, all of which ended up busted to shit – but he wasn’t responsible for all busting. He’s been invited back, he’s also going to have a buggy in California he can practice in. He was thrilled with it all and is still amazed by how nice everyone there was. All, he fell in love the BBQ and mac & cheese.
You going to Horse Force?
This year is the 10 year anniversary of Tony Hawks radio show, on Saturday Faction will be going to a big event with a bunch of special guests, including Tenacious D, that you can get tickets to. Horse Force – Tour de Horse is indeed still on for playing in New York at the Gramercy Theatre on October 25th, and Ellis has talked to Christian and everything is all fine and it’s all water under the bridge. There’s talk about another Horse Force show after New York that sounds pretty big, so be on the lookout for that. In Pot News, a news anchor in Alaska, Charlo Greene, quit her job on-air so she could focus on legalizing weed in the state. Skateboard correspondent Chris Cole called into the show to fill us in on some Dew Tour news in Brooklyn. Somebody won, somebody lost, somebody was good, and somebody sucked. Ellis & Chris traded old skate stories for awhile and talked about how Pink skated at Woodard before she was Pink (she was white). HEYOH! MMA News, I missed all of that thanks to work getting in the way. But hey, on the plus side, no spoilers!
All men have cried at least once. Wait, no they haven’t.
Canadian News time, Calgary was overrun with 542 Batmen to set a new Guinness World Record, organized by the United Way charity. Remember when Ellis said Borgman was a good movie to watch? Well it is/was and some people even agreed. However, here’s a movie Ellis does not recommend you watch The Honeymoon, it was like having a load of balls in your mouth. I soon got lost because there was talk about some brother from Moon Patrol Twilight’s brother to a guy who’s brother is Guy but his brother is better than Tom Cruise and brother put together, mother brother. I can’t tell if we’re talking about printers, movies, or pound cake. He watched another movie on the plane and cried after the movie, it was a documentary about a race car driver called CenterSenna. There we go, Ayrton Senna, that’s the ticket. Tully finds he cries very easily watching movies on planes, the last time Will cried was at the end of The Notebook. Seriously, Will? Then work interrupted again and I came into the story about the Django Unchained actress getting busted having sex with her boyfriend in their car. After that, it was time for a quick impression by Hotdog. He was just as good if not better than Stupid Tits as his impression mysteriously ate all the same food he does in real life. Turns out, it was Marilyn Monroe, who he knows nothing about.
Crooby McBoober in studio.
After a quick break, Conor McGregor came into the studio. You may know him by the other names he’s been called, Cooner McGrubby, Clooney McGrooby, etc. He’s a well dressed Irishman in the UFC and thinks American’s don’t know how to dress. He sounds like a good guy (not in the IRA) and was a good talker (I could understand him) and rolled with the questions like champ (he just might be soon). It was an entertaining interview and if you’re an MMA fan, I suspect you will be entertained too. A US based massage therapist has undergone surgery to add a third breast so she can become a reality TV star. She’s kind of like the Griswold’s family truckster of titties. WWE correspondent and fellow Wolfknives member, Blowgay Simpson, called in to give us an update on wrastlin’, Cena-stravaganza at Hell In A Cell, and the new Divas champion. Did you know 7-Up used to contain lithium? That’s right, it did and it stopped people from killing their families until 1950. And that’s when people started killing their families. Coincidence? Hey, Wolf Scrub is out, it’s for sale now on Etsy, and it is most likely safe for your ass, as far as anyone knows. I mean, in case Mr. X is wondering. And there you have it. Today’s show. Now I gotta go poop.
Everybody was abuzz about it. Everybody was talking about it. Some people even lost their shit about it. Literally. Shit was everywhere. I think even TMZ almost covered it. But since they didn’t, we will! Prepare yourself for the dramatic re-telling of yesterday’s incident that is now being hailed as “The Douchening”. Actually, I made that up. I don’t think anyone is calling it anything. I’m not even sure anyone cares about it anymore, but they sure did yesterday! So let’s find out what exactly happened. Put on your detectives cap, bust out the magnifying glass and pipe Sherlock, we’re going to crack this case wide open!
Timeline of events:
At approximately 3:45 PM Central, one Mike Tully read a news story about a new social network that costs $9k to join.
Said social network sounded pretty douchey, Mike Tully and his accomplice Jason Ellis were busy making douche jokes just before the next segment started, which involved one Christian James Hand.
At approximately 3:50 PM Central, Mike Tully segued from the story and into Christian James Hand’s introduction by uttering, and I quote, “Speaking of douches…” Just after that, Jason Ellis had pushed the intro button for Christian James Hand. The plot thickens!
Jason Ellis then was heard by millions to have said, “Depends on what day you hit that button, that could’ve gone horribly wrong.” Clearly joking.
Christian James Hand retorts with, and I quote, “You’re all being very clever.”
Jason Ellis then responds with, and I quote again, “Uh oh, it’s a bad for us to be doing that.” Talking about the “douche” introduction.
During the jokes an audible noise could be heard, after some investigation, the source of the noise had come from a microphone being unplugged. DUN-DUN-DUUUUNNNN!
“What the fuck is that? It’s unplugged.” exclaimed Jason Ellis.
“I don’t know why…” starts one Freddie Wilson Pendarvis III.
“Because he hit it when he sat down.” retorts Jason Ellis.
“Don’t touch the merchandise.” said Mike Tully.
“I believe you Christian, but… that only happens to you.” accuses Lord Pendarvis.
“I saw what he did, he fuckin’ bumped it because we hit a button where he was a douch.” accuses Jason Ellis.
“No, I didn’t, I didn’t… wow, I mean… I don’t have to be here today gentlemen, I’m not getting fuckin’ paid so I don’t have to show up.” threatens Christian James Hand.
“Oh, douche the fuck off then if you’re going to swing with that attitude.” delivers Jason Ellis.
“I’m just sayin’, I didn’t touch the microphone!” defends Christian James Hand.
“You did, you smacked it with your hand because you got pissed because we hit the fuckin’ button!” demands Jason Ellis.
“Have fun, have a good radio show gentlemen.” said Christian James Hand as he storms out of the studio.
“Fuck off moron!” said Jason Ellis.
There were a few other things said, but they were unimportant, but that is overall the gist of everything said. After Christian left, Ellis, Tully, & Will were left wondering why the douche thing set Christian off so easily. Minutes later, Christian comments on one of his Instagram posts: “…for everyone to think that I walked out because I was called a ‘douchebag’ is laughable. It had nothing to do with that. Thankx for all the comments.” Later that same day, Christian then posts this his Instagram. That post certainly appears to be Christian acknowledging he made a mistake by walking off the show.
Now, before going any further and before anyone starts laying blame or chastising someone. I’m pretty sure things are just fine between Ellis, Tully, Christian, & Horse Force. These things happen. And these things usually work themselves out. Don’t you fret your pretty little heads about any of it, because I’m sure none of them are.
So. Everyone still have their detectives hat on, magnifying glass out, and pipe in hand? Good. Let’s start speculating our asses off!
Unbeknownst to many fans, and maybe Christian too, OfficialJasonEllis.com was running the entire time so people could see and hear everything that went on, including during the breaks. Armed with knowledge really sheds new light on the whole situation. And god damn it, we’re going to find out who is to blame for all this and we’re going to shame that son of a bitch! The answer just may surprise you, it might even shock you! *queue dramatic music*
As soon as Christian walked into the studio, Ellis could see a look on Christian’s face. This is why Ellis said, “Depends on what day you hit that button, that could’ve gone horribly wrong.” Tully & Will did not see Christian’s face, they are not facing the door into the studio, only Ellis is facing that door. Ellis, Tully, & Will were still all smiles at this point. Everyone teases each other there. None of this is out of the ordinary. And I believe Christian when he said, “…to think that I walked out because I was called a ‘douchebag’ is laughable. It had nothing to do with that.” So what was it, what set him off? I’ll get to that soon, hold your horses… forces.
Then the microphone came unplugged. I’m sure it was on accident and it probably happened just because it was already loose. If you remember, Hotdog and Will both used that microphone before Christian even came into the studio. It worked fine for them, but maybe one of them accidentally knocked it loose, but not disconnected. Or maybe it was something else. Who cares. That’s not really the point.
I can already hear you saying it. “Yeah, but Ellis got pissed right away at Christian for what could have been an honest mistake!” If you’ve been listening to show for any amount of time, you know that for years now Ellis does not like any weird sounds or poor sound quality. This is radio. More specifically, this is his radio show, his baby, and he takes pride in it like anyone would. He’s trying to make sure the show is run as professionally as possible, without glitches, or at least as few as possible. Do you not take pride in your work? You should. Otherwise you’re probably not doing it right.
So where are we? Christian walked off the show and it wasn’t because of the “douche” button. I don’t even think it was entirely Ellis claiming Christian hit the microphone, sure that part didn’t help, but I don’t think that was the sole reason. Rather, a specific combination of things, piled on top of what really did seem like a bad day for Christian, previous to him even being in the studio. Clearly, his fuse was short that day. I think Christian also recognizes that he may not have handled the situation in the best way. His second Instagram post seems to back that theory up. And Ellis wasn’t wrong for telling Christian to leave. As a radio professional, you don’t go another radio professionals show to do your own segment and say that you’re not even getting paid and didn’t have to show up, and then walk off – leaving the other’s scrambling to figure out what the hell they’re going to do in your place. Especially to the guy who is willing to give you a shot at your own 1 hour show along with 2 of your friends.
But what about this chain of events? Who was responsible for Christian walking off? Are you sitting down? Because I am about to shock the world when I tell you the god damned son of a bitch that caused the whole situation. It was none other than… WILL PENDARVIS!!! That’s right! That meddling WILL PENDARVIS!!! Right when he told Christian that the microphone coming unplugged only happens to him, Christian’s brain shut down and went into defense mode. The situation had no other place to go but dissolve into a “No, you are” match between two mongrels. I hope you’re happy with yourself Will! You think about that. You think about what you’ve done and who you’ve hurt. When you’re done, I expect you to apologize. You apologize to Ellis, Christian, Tully, Hotdog, the fans, matter of fact, you call up Piolin and apologize to him as well!
See? I told you we could do this! We have used our super detective skills to solve a mystery, lambaste the god damned son of a bitch responsible for this whole situation, and totally blow the whole thing out of proportion. Now we can all move on and look forward to friendships, Horse Force, and a show in New York!
Is this the Big Hog Cheddar Dog or Ellis’ giant penis?
It’s me again fuckers, bitPimps here to give you a recap on Thursday. Ellis gassed out 5 times today, he feels great, he feels alive. But since this is in the past, it’s not going to matter or be true any longer. Hamburgers and hotdogs, that shit was nowhere before America. Don’t even get started on pies, apple pie fucking rules the pile world. Hotdog is a fool because he loves fruit, but doesn’t like warm fruit, such as in a fresh apple pie. Hello, Hotdog, ice cream! Poor dude is so lost in his San Diego ways, it’s like he’s living a lie. But you know what? He’s the only person on the show who remembers where PieNot is. Tully’s family is southern enough to be full on white trash, but their close and he loves a good mozzarella stick – it sure beats the shit out of a hard boiled egg from a fucking gas station. Will came barging into the studio, not for anything particular, but he had pictures for Ellis to look at, pictures of the race Ellis will be at over the weekend. Some gay (or maybe not) guy posted full on nudes of Ellis online again. Calm down, it wasn’t fresh nudies, these were dick & balls from the Stern show, but put into boxes like those porn stars tend to do. This big race Ellis is going to? You can go there and ask to see his dick & balls if you want, which coincidentally or not, they are unveiling the “Big Hog Cheddar Dog” at this event, which is not Ellis’ dick & balls, but a huge thing on it’s own. Where did the saying ‘shit eating grin’ come from? And who grins after eating shit? Besides Germans, I mean. Some caller said the saying comes from ‘grinning like a possum eating shit’ but I’m calling bullshit on that. Even during the Great Depression, nobody was eating shit and grinning because of it. Now the saying, ‘sweating like a dog shitting peach seeds’ is totally traceable and understandable, because could you imagine trying to shit a peach seed? You’re gonna sweat profusely. The phrase ‘shitting in tall cotton’ is also totally traceable and makes sense. you’re shitting in a field, hidden by the cotton growing, and you get to use the cotton you pick to wipe your ass. It’s natures toilet paper, before it becomes toilet paper of course, but hey, it’s better than a poison oak leaf.
The only rule to farting is don’t shit yourself. Well, that and don’t shit the mattress.
Brandon Lillard is a friend of the show and he got seriously hurt during a base jump. His medical bills are mounting there’s a GoFundMe page setup if you’d like to help. Hotdog gets to finish his signature segment, “what’s the worst fart experience you’ve had”. Ellis farted in the morning today and it scared Katie. She thought he was asleep, but he wasn’t, he had just woken up and his bubble butt ass let it rip. Hotdog knows what’s up, he wakes up farting too. I’m pretty sure all men wake up with farts ready to be released. Anyway, Hotdog kept his segment going from the previous day, when it got cut a little short because Ellis had to unexpectedly leave to go pick up Tiger from school. Callers with chili and fart stories came about, callers with non-chili farts called, it was a real fart-a-thon that Jerry Lewis would be impressed with, however, I’m not sure it beat the previous days fart-a-thon. One of the biggest surprises is that Hotdog has a sore tummy today and has been farting in the green room all morning. Tully wants him fired for this. Some dude farted in an elevator while Hilary Clinton was in there, that guy gets a t-shirt for his American fart efforts. Tully’s down with farting in front of Barbra Bush, and I’m backing that decision. She’s old, she wouldn’t even know if it was her, the person next to her, Jesus, or Satan. Oxycottonjohn called in with his own fart story, he got sent home one time from his work, he was farting so bad in the mail room and while he was delivering mail, he kept crop dusting the office. He got so many complaints, the boss came down and addressed the fartissue he had. While his boss is reprimanding him for his fart delivery, he was still ripping farts. He got sent home for farting too much. If you didn’t already know his legendary status, you should now. Ellis did not like learning that Tully tends to have to fart before he pisses. The conundrum is that the most acceptable place to rip a fart in front of another human is the bathroom. Hotdog got a few professional pointers on his segment and then we went to fart out some names for new Wolfknives members with Hotdog in tow, allowing him to test out his “off the cuff” skills. I found it endearing that towards the end of naming Wolfknives, Hotdog started to sound like an early 20-something Pendarvis.
Wait. Is this about Top Gun 2 or shit? It’s shit. Isn’t it.
There’s a total douche social network starting up, and that little piece of news started off a whole situation that blew up into a douche bomb. So since there won’t be new music segment, it was a perfect time for World News. Which was written down, but didn’t actually exist. That was a perfect segue into Hollywood News, and to kick it off, it was the announcement of Kim Dylla (Vulvatron) becoming the new frontwoman of GWAR. Something or another about Sharon Osbourne and how one time she did something weird with Ozzy when she was young. Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger are done, soooo… maybe she’ll leak a photo of her tits or something? I don’t know. Anyway, there’s 3 movies slated to be made that sound horrible. Top Gun 2 is one of them and you have to wonder how that’ll play out. Goose is fucking dead man. Does Tom Cruise come back as an instructor at Top Gun or is he all old and farting in an F-22 Raptor or… what the fuck? Anyway, Tom has apparently signed on for this fucking thing, and it also sounds like the movie will contain a lot of drones, so I guess he’ll be teaching sentient drones how it’s done when it comes to flying. I don’t know where to go with that. Anyway, you’re not even reading this. This doesn’t even exist. And I’m just gonna close this thing out with sledgehammer. Ellis has a friend, a girl, who told him that one time during some butt eating, this girl’s boyfriend ate her butt, he found a nugget in there and ate it. And liked it. He said he enjoyed it. And one time he tried to pass it back to her. And you can probably guess who this girl is. And she didn’t like to get her poo passed back to her. And she also said it wasn’t that bad. And I have to Arsenio Hall out of this thing with a “hmmmmm”. So I leave you with this last bit of shit about butts. Trick Daddy don’t eat pussy anymore. He only eats butt. And he’ll eat your girls butt if you don’t, so keep that in mind. Thank you. Good night.
What’s up sluts? Y’all just slutting it up today? Getting your slut on? Slut on, slutters! It’s Wednesday and I’m bitPimps. I’ll be your recap host for today because CrackerStacker6 is trying to not get murdered by his wife today, it’s their anniversary. So take off your push-up bra, light some candles, and get ready for sluttastic sluttery! Ellis didn’t sleep much, but he wasn’t even tired so he went to watch some TV. Problem is, TV isn’t working. He sat there for 3 hours all by his lonesome until he realized “son of a bitch, I have a computer, and a website,” so that’s what he did. Not that slutty. But he ended up getting the TV to work later and accidentally ordered a foreign film that you have to read. I think it might have been Borgman. Slightly slutty. Hey, if you’re a Wolfknives member, can prove it, & are in LA, you can get in touch with Ellis and he’ll tell you where they are at and you can go down there and get a big fat box of shit, or a fat prostitute’s big fat box. Slut ding! Ab talk and Ellis was watching Hotdog on the video from the Roosevelt and he envisioned a thinner Hotdog. A Hotdog with abs. While Ellis was in Minnesota he wasn’t smoking weed, but he was jonesing for it. Not smoking weed & drinking isn’t very slutty, but Ellis is abstaining from it all until his birthday, so it’s hard for him to sleep, and he’s finding out he’s more psychotic without the weed but he’s going to power through it by staying busy. Ellis & Katie were supposed to go to the Madden brothers’ record release party but they got into a lover’s quarrel and ended up not going. Tully and his wife fought last night too. Sluts, am I right? Ellis & Tully, walking around all sluttily like they’re queen sluts or something. Control. Sluts love to be controlled. But we’re not talking about Janet Jackson here, we’re talking about Ellis being in control of all his shit, so that’s his goal for now. Tully was on Jada Pinkett-Smith’s Facebook page, because that’s how he likes to relax and slut it up, but she was talking about a friend of hers who committed suicide or something. Which I guess a lot people thanked the boys for talking about it yesterday. Ellis has to pick up the kids today and go watch Devin’s soccer game. The wild west was pretty fucking wild, 14-year-old chicks sleeping in the same bed as an old lady and a drunk dude. So wrong, but also so slutty. But wrong.
Your mom. Everyone knows.
Back from break and Ellis & Tully have learned some things during the break. Ellis got a call from school and learned Tiger has 103 temperature and has to be taken out of school immediately. He texted the mommy but hasn’t gotten a text back yet so he may have to leave in the next 15 minutes. Tully learned that the foreign film Ellis was watching this morning was indeed Borgman. BOOM! Score one for me! Now is a good time for Hotdog to host the show as Ellis now has to go make some calls. So here comes Hotdog for a call-in segment. He wants to know the worst place & timing you’ve farted. His worst fart experience was in summer school, right after a test. He lifted a cheek & let it rip, it was silent, but it was deadly. A foul smelling pocket of air that he could see how far it traveled as people started getting this look of horror on their faces. The teacher came back to tell him about his test results & he could tell the teacher was pondering puking. Will’s worst fart was in an elevator in NY on a Sunday, nobody is usually around. The elevator stopped & 7 people got on, it was clear Will was the culprit who had dealt it. Tully’s worst fart? He was dating this girl around the age of 13 or 14. Tully kissed her on a jungle gym in a park & they go into one of those play tubes and were making out & holding her. The stillness of dawn was fresh in the air and shabang! Audible fart wafting right up into his newly gotten girlfriend’s face… and she continued to date him. I should also mention, this wasn’t last week. Tully was 13 or 14 at the time too. This ushered in calls from listeners with their worst fart stories, chicks included. Breaking News: Ellis has to leave to go pick up Tiger, he apologized and left in a hurry while the fartstravaganza went on. What’s fart stories without Cumtard? He came in to tell how he would time his farts so he’d fart in a revolving door and watch lawyer’s going through the doors and getting trapped in a pocket of hot boxed fart air. Ahhh Cumtard, we would expect nothing less of you and your farting tactics. One of the more memorable caller stories was a guy who works in manholes in New York City, they routinely have to carry air quality measuring devices. He let one rip and it was so bad the sensors started going off and his co-worker was yelling for him to get out of there before he blows up, but of course it was just his ungodly fart. And with that, they had to cut Hotdog’s fart segment short, go to break and come back with a best-of. Hopefully Hotdog will get to finish his fart segment tomorrow or sometime soon because it was going pretty well – wafting it’s way into outer space and beaming back down and into our faces. Super slutty! Thus ends this recap. Remember sluts, keep them farts coming, but try to keep them discreet unless you’re getting paid extra for them. Like your mom, Fart Butt Slut Ingrid.
Even grandma knows about your mom.
WAIT!!! ELLIS IS BACK!
Ellis got a new watch today from Electric Visual. It’s pretty cool, but it’s not as cool as Wilson’s watch where he can watch videos and shit on it. If he were so inclined to do so. Or if he even wore the damned thing. Tully (and Ellis really) are collectively 187-years-old when it comes to technology, but they see how cool it is. They think someone needs to raise the watch game so you can watch UFC Fight Pass, porn, or webcam on your wrist. Kids today can’t tell analog time, which kind of doesn’t surprise me, most kids these days are borderline retarded. Larry Bird is huge, he still has his beak nose, but is starting to look like grandma (see above). It’s widely alleged that Joan Rivers’ doctor took a selfie picture of himself and a dying Joan Rivers, clearly he has a PhD in class. Ellis’ aunt has had a ton of plastic surgery and is rocking a nice set of tits. He may grab them during his Australian tour. If you were a woman and a slut, what would you teach your daughter about promiscuity? STDs and dirty old men? And if you were a man and a slut, what would you teach your son about promiscuity? STDs and crazy bitches?
Who is more popular on the old Facebooks, Steven Seagal or Jean-Claude Van Damme? Seagal, he teaches MMA fighters how to kick. How about Will Smith versus his wife and kids? Will Smith by far, 3 times more than his own family. Seagal. What about 311 or Danzig? Unfortunately, 311. How about Floyd Mayweather or The Undertaker? More than twice as famous is The Undertaker. How about Ellis versus Heelies? ELLIS! Morrissey or Hulk Hogan? Hulkamania is running wild over Morrissey. And what do they all have in common? Total sluts, big time sluts, a dream team of sluts! Wolfknife Blowgay Simpson is now the new WWE correspondent for The Jason Ellis Show, he’ll be calling in every Monday with wrestling updates. YouTube has Tully figured out. It doesn’t matter what computer he logs in from, YouTube knows what he wants. “You done watching that? Here, watch some Thomas The Train videos. No? Here’s some Def Leppard for you! In more of a German mood? Here’s some gaping videos for you.” Sounds like Ellis & Tully will be watching and reviewing the movie The Fifth Element sometime soon, like they did with Over The Top. And there you have it, sluts! The recap was a slutty, there was a hiccup and a fart here and there, but overall, pretty sluterific. Now get out there and enjoy yourself, you know you sluts don’t get started early so you should still have plenty of time to slut it up. Slut ya later. See ya on the slut side. SLUT DRAGONS!
