Time to stretch the fingers and pound out my first re-cap after the break. Ariel Helwani (
@arielhelwani) is the dude that interviewed Jason “Mayhem” Miller when he “acted” crazy. Well he interviewed Mayhem again and this time Jason explained that he was in character and that he pulled a prank on Ariel. Either way Mayhem doesn’t seem like his usual crazy self. This is a different kind of crazy. Ellis wants to help but he thinks that Mayhem needs to hit bottom to fully accept it. On a lighter note, after being on the radio for 4 hours, Ellis finds it hard to have conversations with other people and is worried about becoming the creepy radio guy. If I do anything for 4 hours chances are I don’t want to do it more. Except buttchugging, there’s always room for buttchugging, literally. Is Ellis been more negative than usual? Nope, he’s actually about the same, he seems to go through phases of negative then mellow. According so some, he just needs more Kit Cope in his life. Okay according to Kit he does but according to his legs they are fine without more Kit. Ellis said that he is still realing from divorce, mainly with his time with his kids but things are getting better. Jude graced us with his urban presence and told about his appearance on Ricki Lake (a favor for his home girl/producer) talking about his bathroom attendant job and letting dudes rent them for blow and well, blow. If ya know what I mean. He had to share the stage with some dumb ass bartender, slash failed actor, slash douche canoe. If you weren’t keeping up you might have missed the subtle segways that lead to chaffed nipples, racist movies, shitty black movies, and the difference between good and bad skin heads. Here’s a hint, look for the swastika head tattoos or the blood of minorities on their hands, its all in the subtleties.
You can now vote for the 2nd annual Reverse Awards! And remember, vote now and vote often. New producer Valerie came into the studio today. She is Jason’s friend from way back who doesn’t want to bang him, which is probably why they are still friends. We learned a lot about Valerie today. Important bits of information like, dudes shouldn’t use LOL or emoticons, Valerie will give you her number unless your a bum, she won’t jack you off in the middle of the day for fixing her car, blow jobs don’t get her wet, she is a selfish masturbator, she doesn’t like huge dicks ( because she’s little), she was with little wiener dude who was nice guy but too embarassed to slip her the cocktail weenie, and she has assburgers syndrom a little so don’t get upset when she laughs after you tell her about your tiny package. Tully brought in some Japanese butthole cakes that tasted like seaweed which explains why the Japanese are all so skinny, I wouldn’t eat anything either if it all looked and tasted like ass.
Valerie and Jason shared some Jake Brown stories. Tales of DJ Blackout on a party bus, that he requested, pissing everywhere with his one friend, the time he got kicked out of EllisMania, snuck back in to finish DJing, and then his adventures pub crawling through Hollywood with his pants around his ankles partying with EllisFam. And who could forget the time he kicked out windows at a party, ahhh good times. A girl called in who lost her virginity to Ellis in ’98 and she said it was his accent that got her all hot and bothered. From all of us here at noyouare, a celebratory chest bump for the Wing!
In medical news, sugar makes you dumb or some shit, I can’t remember. Carbonated beverages give girls strokes but not dudes so that sucks for the ladies. In everyday celebrity bullshit, Magic Johnson is getting sued by his liquorice squeezing assistant who can’t get a god damn turkey sandwich on time, Chris Brown gets pulled over for doing something stupid as usual, and Fifty Cent got t-boned by some chick having a stroke
because she can’t put down the fucking soda. Then there was some political talk that I zoned out on which then brought us to Final Calls. Final Calls were quite educational today, for instance, don’t Nair your balls, it burns like a thousand blowtorches upon your taint, instead shave them like a man, in the mirror, with one leg up on the counter. Don’t do drugs but if you do consult a physician to make sure you can handle it, or just say fuck it and drink lots of water, you only live once. If your trying to lose weight keep at it, just like yer mum, she recently lost 15 pounds after the load that was impacted in her colon fell out, OH!