It’s almost over, especially if you’re on the east coast, or if I posted this recap late, like usual, which I did. Fuck you, don’t judge me and my masterful skills of procrastination. Ellis found out from his doctor that he should probably be using alcohol swabs to clean his
steroid testosterone injection site so he doesn’t get an infection. Ellis doesn’t give a shit but doctor Wilson concurs. While Tully’s chick and baby were in mid flight to Japan some dude stood up and wanted to get off the plane, he returned his tray to it’s upright and locked position and got his bag out of the overhead and was ready to leave, right here, over the ocean. The situation never really got crazy but nerve wracking to say the least. I say they should have let him get off though, save somebody else the trouble of dealing with his crazy ass. Robin Thick got caught trying to give a rectal exam to a fan while they took a photo, he claims that it wasn’t what it appears to be but it appears to me that he could tell you if her cervix was dilated! They talked about a very important issue, hangovers, and the best thing to do to prevent them is drink a couple bottles of Pedialyte before bed and have a few glasses of water throughout the night, if your drunk sloppy ass can remember. Are the best things in life really free? Yes, kinda, but they don’t cost money. That is until you have to buy penicillin or that special shampoo to get rid of crabs. A dude called in and talked a little about being a trucker and how they make pretty good money and have a lot of alone time to think to your self and jack off while driving 65 miles and hour across the country hauling beer on a bet with a sheriff and his retarded nephew chasing you and your buddy with a sweet stache distracting all the cops because you have a long way to go and a short time to get there so I’m eastbound and just watch ol Bandit run. THBBB (The Huntington Beach Bad Boy) said something about not being cheap on the things that come between you and the earth, like shoes, mattresses, tires, hookers, etc. It makes sense, don’t want to hurt your feet or something, I really have no fucking clue so moving on to Rawdog’s camping trip to Big Sur. He said it was muy bonito as he stood on the vistas, gazing at the bosque and touching his pequeno pene.Ellis thinks that the reporter on E news, Juliana Ratshit, is a super bitch with her bitchy Skeletor face and she used to fuck Sal Masacala out of interviews. Her and some other douche canoes twerked on stage or something. Which brought the realization that watching the news is stupid, everything you need to know you can find out in two minutes with the new wondrous invention called, The Internet. Then they started reinventing the wheel, the torture wheel, some of the “prizes” are a little old for the current staff situation. Some of the new prizes are The Dirty Will, Lick The Carpet, Country Time, and Eat Shit. Sounds like good times to come.
For this next part just pretend it’s still Friday and you haven’t seen any fights yet.
UFC 164 is this weekend for all you 5%ers. Henderson benderson is fighting Some “Showtime” Dude! And there is many other exciting fights that are on Foz Sports 1 and then the main card on PPV. I highly suggest you tune in this weekend because it wil be awesome, wink wink. In Baseball news, Ellis doesn’t know shit about baseball and neither do I. They watched more fight videos for Ellismania 9 and at this point the blind folded shock collar fight is full but they are still looking for people for the musical chairs fight. Send your 3 minute video in to email@example.com, or firstname.lastname@example.org, I cant remember which one so just send it to both. Rawdog bought an impressions “how to” book. I don’t know why, Josh is a master impressionist and doesn’t need a dime store book to help him, the man needs no help. According to science poor people are stupid mainly because of stress, and stupidity, and not having money, and not being smart enough to make money, that’s why they are poor and that is the circle of life.
They came back from break and started looking at a menagerie of couches sent in from bitPimps for the studio. He didn’t really send them in, he tweeted pictures of them you silly fucker. Ellis likes the idea of a skateboard couch because it’s made out of skateboards and it wouldn’t be too comfortable because he doesn’t want mother fuckers taking naps and shit while they’re trying to do radio. Then they said something about Hollywood people splitting up and Clint Eastwood kicks ass. Tully told the story of how he got kicked out of a bar dressed in a Santa costume drunk on tequila and yelling at the bartender that his bar
will fail because he is short, in case you forgot how awesome Tully is. You know who else is awesome? Ozzy. Ozzy was making a bacon sandwich and started a small grease fire and the fire brigade got alerted and got to visit Ozzy at his house because making bacon with fire is metal. Do you want to watch a video of Sir Patrick Stewart? Of course you do because he is fucking awesome. A dude shot a grey wolf in Kentucky, the only Grey Wolf to be found in Kentucky in over 100 years. Good job Kentucky, that wolf attack prevention program is working great! Speaking of wolves in Kentucky, a Chupacabra has been found in Texas by some lady that says it was eating the throats out of her chickens. The only other account of a mysterious creature sucking the throats out of cocks was at yer house, they called the creature Yer Mum-acabra, OH!