DJ Cupcake was fired today, he was supposed to take Jason’s truck in for the 5th time – and I guess he didn’t. He has seemed to fail spectacularly quite often, so I think Ellis had enough and kicked him to the curb.

Ellis, Tully, and Rawdog did some live ad reads as if they were on terrestrial radio, which actually ended up being hilarious the longer they played into it. Some dude called up admitting to using Cougar Life and was going into details when suddenly “My girlfriends coming, I gotta go!” and hung up. Fuckin hilarious.

Cumtard (@KevinKraftSucks) got punished again today. His crime: letting a fake caller through who zinged Ellis. His punishment: sitting on a make-shift toilet (5 gallon bucket with a toilet lid), pants down, with an aggressive snake in the bucket – while trying to solve a pubix pube (Rubix cube covered in his own pubes.) The next few minutes were radio gold as Cumtard screamed and pleaded for Schults (@donaldschultz) to get the second snake away from his penis. It really sounded like he might have been crying at this point. His attention quickly turned to the snake in the bucket when it started for his ass. Cumtard screamed as the snake was tossing his salad.

As much shit as everyone gives him, including myself at times (see the rage comic I made about Cumtard’s phone screening abilities), this fucking guy does some shit 95% of people would never do – all for the show and a chance to fit in. Gotta give that dude props for at least being a team player like a mofo.

Cumtard, as predicted, did not go back out with his old “fling” and it appears there may be no other future plans concerning the two of them. She said she was busy and asked for a rain check, which I think we can safely assume is a blow-off move. He’s not totally convinced yet, but that’s probably why he’ll keep getting strung along by this broad. We also find out that while in private retard school, Cumtard wrestled for the school.

Rawdog went out on a date as well, went for a move, and got shutdown. Rawdog met her at a cooking class, ate his veggies (which is amazing) and when it was time to leave, he walks his date to her car – went in for a kiss and got shot down in a blaze of glory. The consensus is that he needs to move on to another chick. Which reminds me, whatever happened to Burger Girl? She just disappeared and he never went to try and track her down?

Tully got called out on his New Years resolution of trying not to be late to the show, which of course he was late for the very next day – its kind of his signature move. Anyway, he had to get bitten by one of the snakes on the show today, he put on his man pants and the snake chowed down. I think that must be the first time Tully has ever been the subject in anything pain related on the show.

I think that about sums up today’s show. Let me know if I missed something. And that whole thing I keep saying about your mom on a daily basis? It’s all true.