When its friday, and your not giving a fuck, how fast do you drive? Fast enough to fly by some dude, have him chase you down and yell “What’s Up Bitch?” Ellis did, and just stared the dude down until he left, Red Dragons! So he drives a little fast in his new bad ass Thomas Hayden Church approved Porsche, fuck off. Except Tully reminded him, and us all, the point that you may not just kill yourself, but you may kill others. Thanks Tully! We all know Ellis is a professional driver, and Rawdog can’t drive for shit, so I ask you who’s more of a risk? Old people is correct! Fucking old people should take buses every where, like a mobile old folks home. Also, drunks should now have to in their own Drink Drive lane, and if you can handle your booz more than the average Joe, you can get a Black Card Drivers License and bang mad whores! Of course all this is just leading up to the day we start having no traffic lights or stop signs. When that happens, Ellis will never drive his car again and Rawdog’s gonna lock himself in the bathroom with a helmet and never go outside again. Fucking Rawdog may be onto something this time, well with the helmet and when he told us that Canada has 4 nuclear bombs. Thats nice when compared to the US having over 100, and Australia having none mate. Of course, it only takes one to fucking ruin your fucking day, helmet or not!
In Hollywood News, Justin Timberlake is going to make one of his friends do 100 hours of community service, what a dick. The dude, not JT, is a dick for making some wedding video with some homeless dude in pretty poor taste. You know who else is a dick, the lead singer for Foster the People, and Prince spotted it. While Prince was preforming a small show, the lead man for Foster the People was using his cellphone, and we all know how Prince is with anyone even looking at him let alone snap a picture, so he had security boot the Foster dude out of the show, despite his pleas of innocence. Red Dragons to you Prince! Do you think we could get about 100 EllisFam to show up to a Prince show, and simultaneously all pull out our cell phones and fucking blow his mind? You know what blows Ellis and Katie’s minds? The new LEGEND OF CONAN movie muthafucka’s! This news was so legendary that Ellis has to call Katie to give her the news live on air. Heres the catch, Arnold is also going to pair back up with Danny Devito to remake Twins…..only its Triplets this time, and with Eddie Murphy. Yeah so the new Conan movie should be pretty fucking sick. Sick enough to convince Ellis he’s gotta do steroids, and Rawdog too! Ellis was doubting his chances of landing Arnold on his show, but Cumtard, Tully and Rawdog seemed more optimistic. I mean if Covino and Rich can get him, then Ellis has to have a shot, right?
So if you like pepsi over coke, your an idiot. And if you drink pepsi with a yellow cap, your a jew. And if I say ‘your a jew’, thats racist, but if I say ‘he’s a jew’ is perfectly cool. Did you follow all that? Tully did, and he’s onto the whole Lord of the Rings being all racist and shit. Smeagol’s kinda like a jew chasing the ring around and all. Gollum is named after “Golem” the jew monster! Sounds to me like Lord of the rings is more jewish that Josh himself, well since he doesn’t even know, let alone celelbrate all the jewish holidays as Ellis found out. Rawdog defended himself by saying theres so fucking many Jewish holidays that its hard to remember them all. Ellis wasn’t buying it, but after a phone call to the jewiest of them all, the illustrious Shuli who comfirmed jews even have a holiday for building a hut, Ellis kinda backed off on Trust Fund Baby. Shuli also told us that technically jewish people aren’t supppose to work or do shit on Fridays. Kinda gives Who Gives a Fuck Fridays a whole knew meaning!
Women need the hoop the be lowered cause they fucking suck at basketball, says the coach of the UConn Huskies. Dudes right, I mean would you at least be more willing to watch the WNBA if chics were just dunking on each other like Shaq? Would you be more willing to watch it if they were all naked and Jackie Chan-ing each other all over the court? I rest my case! Ellis made a case for Shaq Diesel to be a host on America’s Got Talent, and Tully made a better point with reminding us Blue Chips was about Shaq’s only decent movie. Just cause the guy can’t hit a free throw to save his life, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be decent next to Howard Stern. Speaking of TV hosts, Simon Cowell is on the prowl, allegedly banging the shit out of Carmen Electra. Fuck yeah Simon! I mean really, other than banging the shit out of ’em, what are women good for? How about 87 gallons of breast milk, a ride on a manatee, and a snatch to hide your meth pipe….Woman, Am I Right? You know what Wilt Chamberlain and Andre the Giant are good for? Check it out………………….
Some dude called on with serious IBS. Serious enough he was taking morphine to ease the daily pain he experiences. I never knew the shit could get that bad! Either way though, this dude was seriously stoned. Ellis talked to him, and tried to help him see his life in a better way, and go seek rehab. I hope that dude goes! I also hope this other caller goes too, somewhere way far away from his wife since she not only won’t fuck the dude almost 3 years after having a child, but she freaks out on him if he jerks off as well. This pissed Tully off to no end, and caused Ellis to suggest either AshleyMadison.com or taking a shit on her chest and leaving. Ellis even said it wasn’t as bad as this when his first wife was smashing plates over his head. But it’s not all just the ladies not giving it up, some dudes are lame asses too apparently. Not Ellis or Tully of course, and well Rawdog, he’s just an animal. If your one of those dudes, and you need to please your lady, take the advice of Ellis and try some Pool Lube with your lady. If you one of us fans of the show, then you may want to check out the last hour, as Tully revealed some more old clips from around 2007-2008. A bunch of cool shit here to go back and check out, from an Army dude busting a load while shooting at the enemy, to Deegan doing burnouts in the studio, to the 1st ever Dude is it Gay? This was shit from back when Ellis had a myspace account. I used to have a myspace account, in fact thats how I first met your mother and I’ve been fucking her ever since, OH!