The Romney/dog story – 1/19/12, 8/22/12 (History)

The news story of Presidential candidate Mit Romney traveling on vacation with his dog on the roof of his car resurfaced today. Tully & J.Ellis both did not recall hearing the story before. Rawdog was correct, he did bring up the news story on January 19, 2012. I have no excuse for Jason, but Tully was out for the birth of baby Grey (AKA Linsanity, born January 16, 2012). Let’s listen back:

Romney/dog story – 8/22/12

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Romney/dog story – 1/19/12

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Show Re-cap For Tuesday 8/21/2012

Jude always gets some sort of applause.

Fair warning here, I missed a lot of the show today, but it’s all good. I think I got enough to make you sweat C & C Music Factory style! Rawdog’s tired today, and probably pilled out from his healthy lifestyle kidney stones. Enough so that Ellis called him on it right when he walked in to the studio before work, which automatically put Rawdog in a weird mood. He hung out with his chiquita (Brocolina) last night and drove her non-driving ass home. He also protected her from a raving, rabid dog on dem mean skreets. And since it’s Tuesday, our pal @rude_jude came on the show today and began talking in his latino home girl accent, confusing Rawdog as he got turned on by the accent and words, but was looking at Jude. Also, just in case Rosie is reading this, you should know that the more you get teased, it just means we love you that much more – well Rawdog really, but by extension I suppose.

Kids these days, golly!

Think about this kiddies, a lot of today’s kids don’t know shit from apple butter, or at least they don’t know a lot of shit some of us older people know. To be more specific, today’s 18 year-old crowd – they’ve never experienced many things that were the standard in some of our times. And now, here are just a few of those things that are completely lost on today’s youth: Mailing a letter (snail mail for you youngins), pointing to your wrist to ask for the time, Nirvana is classic rock to them, Ferris Bueller could be their dad, they’ve never had to watch scrambled porn, OJ Simpson has always been famous for alleged murder instead of football, they have no recollection of Michael Jordon playing basketball, they were not glued to the TV watching the fall of the Berlin Wall, some (or even most) of them probably can’t write in cursive, etc. It’s kind of odd for the older generations to think about these things that were so common, yet have become so obsolete. So there ya go – feeling old now? If not, than you’re probably young.

So you say you’re a new intern?

According to Tully, Geena Davis is the female version of Jeff Goldblum… and he’s fucking right! I’ve never really thought about that – you can understand why I’d block her from my mind – but after him saying that, I’m limp and may have erectile dysfunction. So a big fuck you goes out to both Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum. Potential new intern on the show today, “Charles”, who has worked in radio before, he’s 37 and going back to school for radio – particularly he would like to produce. Thirtyseven. Back to school. If you’re just now learning what you want, the road ahead is going to be bumpier than driving over the trash at an abortion clinic. Is that even a joke? I don’t know, I’m tired and give about zero fucks.

Anyway, he was there, introduced himself, and fielded a few questions from the guys – so we’ll see what happens. I would guess he’ll get his shot at being berated by everyone, so start thinking of nicknames for this third-world crack smokin’, pipe-dream havin’, potential intern. Don’t act like I’m some sort of mean guy. You know how everyone is, we don’t like new people at first and treat them suspect until they get a chance to eat our shit and then we judge them on how well they eat our shit. It’s the same all over the world I tell ya. The first time I shit in your mother’s mouth – I had to punch her in the jaw to help her chew it. She’s obviously gotten a lot better at it, as you can see by the six 1 dollar bills she gets to bring home at the end of a night of shit eating. OH!

Rawdog’s kidney stones – 8/09-8/12 (History)

This past weekend Rawdog had another incident with kidney stones. Let’s review:

Rawdog was in the hospital with kidney stones – 8/20/12

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Rawdog was right, this 2nd bout with kidney stones is almost exactly 3 years to the day of the 1st incident.

Rawdog is in the hospital for an appendicitis? – 7/31/09

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Rawdog describes being picked up by Bentley – 9/2/10

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Rawdog returns with the news he has kidney stones and that he has never eaten a salad. – 8/3/09

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Bonus: Jingleberries songs!

“Leroy Brown”

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“Heal the World”

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Show Re-cap For Monday 8/20/2012

Turning women into Wooderson

Hi everybody, it’s Monday. What did you all do over the weekend? Me? I practiced my sultry writing skills a la Fifty Shades style, here’s a sample: After having my gaping clam cavern fucked, he then proceeded to fuck my soft & tight turd-herder. The unrelenting orgasms from him slamming my smush mitten made me come so hard, I began sweating like a whore in church. The thrusting makes me spray my clunge gunge all over his piss pipe. By now, my cod cave was trembling like a tasered slab of chopped liver. So what do you think? Pretty hot, right? That’s the type of shit that will leave a girls axe gash oozing like a broken freezer. Anyway, on with the show… Ellis needs an backiotomy from his achy breaky back, and if you’re familiar with back pain, it sucks the balls of serial rapist baby killers. Also, he and Rawdog did some “work” this weekend, meaning they got to film naked chicks with a high speed camera.

The reverse Gobstopper effect causes kidney stones

Hey guess what? You know that “Goth Club” that Rawdog’s girlfriend wanted him to go to? Yea, it was a gay club. Whoops. Honest mistake on her part I’m sure, I mean especially considering that she also snowballed him and wanted him to wear assless chaps to this “Goth Club”. Super health nut, Rawdog, got some more kidney stones over the weekend – because he’s so healthy and shit. He drove himself to the hospital, had enough pain that he started puking, so they gave him some morphine and some percocets so he could manage and wizz those stones out. Of course, Rawdog believes this all came about again because it’s been a little hot out and he’s been slacking on drinking lemonade, not because of his diet. He’ll fight for McNuggets and against a fucking bite of fruit until his death.

Oh sa-nap

Security guards and women, am I right? Of course I am! Insert all your own stories about either of those groups, there are plenty to go around. Some security guard had to call the real cops for some reason or another and more teachers are banging more students – now in groups! That’s hot. There was only one single story I can remember going around during my time in school, which is not hot. Speaking of which, a roofie story from back in the day, Ellis went to this house where he used to get weed. He was drinking, these young girls wanted to do things with him, he said no – thinks he got roofied and passed out only to wake up in a bedroom with both of them on him. Yay for rape! Would you rather be 10 feet tall or 1 foot tall for the rest of your life? This is just one example of the problems facing our nation today – nobody has a really good answer for that one. There is an answer however as to how your mother can tell all her children apart even though you all have the same first name. You all have different last names. OH!

No better feeling