I missed the first hour of the show so instead of going back and listening I went to one of the most reliable sources for an honest examination of the subject matter, Twitter. From what I could gather they were talking about disciplining kids, cussing, and a broken racketeering. As far as the raising kids thing goes, my personal opinion is that if you don’t discipline them then they turn into assholes, but if you beat the shit out of them they turn into assholes, so just find a happy medium. Or don’t have kids. As far as the broken racketeering goes, I know nothing officer, I was just walking by and these are not my pants. I came in at Cullen’s phone call, I really wasn’t sure what he was talking about but he sounded good as he always does and I’m sure that it was very interesting and educational. Then there was a music break.
If you haven’t heard of the Batkid in San Francisco story, then you are living in a tunnel in the Great White North and have eyes too beady to be capable of reading the newspaper. If you haven’t heard about it, here it is, in larger print for my frozen friends to the north. Ellis
saw Thor last night and despite all the shit he talked about it he liked it. The only thing he didn’t like is when they over did it with the CGI. Forest Griffin called in with a little story about he got fully aroused by a heavy set hairdresser while she washed his hair. Also that he really didn’t get 15 shoulder surgeries, they were really 15 penis enlargement surgeries. He talked about the 20 years in the UFC documentary and he didn’t like it because,
“I look like a complete doofus” – Forest Griffin
He is also driving the Scion he won from The Ultimate Fighter in 2005 and apparently is using a cell phone from 2005 as well. As this phone call went on it only got better, mainly because I imagined Forest at a carnival in China Town. After Forests call there were a couple callers that needed help. One dude was a pothead that hasn’t spoken to his dad for a couple years because he called him a dead beat. The other dude was getting high on pain killers and booze because he got way low after his dad died. Get help, it’s hard, run towards your problems.
Go to DeathDeathDie.com to order the new album, BIG FUCKING MEGA BOAT THE MOVIE: THE SOUNDTRACK
A man bought the house right next to his ex wife and then erected a giant middle finger pointing at her. Jason brought in a new game, Devin and Tiger had to described someone without saying who it was and the guys had to guess what they were describing. It ended up being a steaming pile of shit, adorable, but a pile none the less. Thankfully they have another bit, Beans Death Corner, inspired by Bean of Kevin and Bean. These are awesome stories of people who died in odd, unusual, or amusing ways. It was hysterical. Okay not really but you can be fucking sure I’m checking the railing on every balcony I go on!
A man with shit fetish got arrested again for breaking a restraining order that a farmer put against his after repeatedly breaking into his farm and getting naked and rolling in the cow shit. Oh and one time he set the farm on fire. Have you seen the Van Damme’s video where he does the spits on top of a couple of semis? Well I don’t care, here it it and look at his bulge! Some place in some city did some shit with swastikas but not in a hateful way and imagine everybody’s amazement when the Jewish community got upset. Scientist discovered the worlds oldest animal, a mollusk, but when they were discovering the age of this thing they killed it. Then they put lemon juice on it and a little Tobasco and slurped that sweet sweet puppy down. They did a whole bunch more news stories and I was paying attention until I stopped at Walmart and this really fat lady was yelling at her really skinny boyfriend about something that I couldn’t quite make out but it was very entertaining and kept me occupied for the better end of seven minutes. I’m pretty sure she ate him that night. There’s a professor somewhere that found out that all the 50 Shades Of Grey books contain traces of the herpes virus, kida like a gift for buying it. All the rest of the books just had traces of cocaine in them like they’re supposed to. Speaking of trace amounts of cocaine and the herpes virus, the very last caller would like to thank everybody for bringing the sexual adventure back into his bedroom and how he is constantly droppin loads everywhere, and on behalf of NYA we’d like to tell yer dad, you’re welcome, OH!