Australians are all criminals but aren’t we all. We all seal, but are we really poor? I don’t know the answer to that. I’m not even sure what that means. Today’s show is the post Rawdog birthday extravaganza with a special guest appearance by Jagarbeard. The conversation they guys talked about a dude who was doing massive whipits in front of cops and how Tully loves doing them at Thanksgiving and how he might be the biggest druggie on the whole show. They also talked about Josh’s ugly head, him wearing a helmet, Star Trek, robots, and Hawaii 5-O bitches. Here’s a public service announcement from The Jason Ellis Show, reading is important unless your gonna be a pro skateboarder but you probably won’t because you suck so reading is important. We also learned about the many hats of Josh Richmond, literally. He has a fancy yamaka, an old yamaka, a cheap yamaka, and a pirate hat of course. When your in your thirties your half way dead, in case you didn’t figure that out every time you wake up sore after doing nothing and injuries that stem from the most simple of physical activities. But good news though, your dick gets bigger. So next time you see an old dude slouched over walking down the street just remember that he walks like that because of the massive hog he’s having to haul around. Today is also Josh’s first day of the salad challange of doom. Will Josh be in the 27 club? Probably not, even with his fast food diet, but this brought on another conversation, open casket or closed? Ellis figures that as long he’s looking good then leave that bitch open so everyone can gaze upon his awesome dead face.
Beyonce redid the National Anthem at a press conference and did one hell of a performance. but the real question was, Why didn’t she just do that from the beginning and avoid all this crap? Probably because she is a woman and this leads us into the ever entertaining, Woman, Am I Right? A Brazilian priest was droppin loads into numerous woman’s throats after convincing them that he was blasting holy loads. The best teacher ever got in trouble for being AWESOME. She had a twitter account that was her smoking weed and taking nude pics. An Arizona teachers aid got in trouble for giving teradactlys in the gym. A British chick fell into frozen canal while texting, a woman forgot to set her anti theft bear trap and got robbed, Japanese women are getting fake crooked teeth. A Granny got 4 tickets in an hour while driving 500 something miles through two states doing 80 to 115 miles per hour. And if some of you dudes are looking to get married, there is a 29 year old vegan Brit who is looking for husband but the catch is that he must be celibate, for ever, until death, then you can fuck her.
A moment of silence for Caleb Moore, the snowboarder dude that died after a horrible snowmobile wreck attempting a backflip. And mad respect to people that put their life on the line just to go harder and faster and do more gnarly tricks all to be better than the other dude and thanks for letting us watch this great spectacle. A dude named Lil-za was pulled over in Bieber’s Ferrari with no license. Guess when you have that much money you can let munchkins borrow your fancy ass car. Then they did Hollywood news again and I will give you the short notes on it. Larry king, Miley Cyrus, Gisele Bundchem, an actor fight at The Martini Ranch. This is also the point in the show where Jagarbeard is in full form and the show is absolutely brilliant. There is no way that I can properly translate the hilarity to paper. Metallica has signature vans, in case you were wondering and more importantly, Josh cannot close just one eye. Russians are getting penis tattoos, Rawdog is fantasizing about his new girlfriend stroking his shaft and something about his sisters boyfriend who can out fuck Ellis or Tully because he is young and can throw some back into his game. I’m not sure what all I just wrote but the conversation was about as random as that and hilarious. More advise from the inebriated bush baby, be in the moment, be here, be present. Josh was becoming more and more relaxed in studio to the point that someone should have gotten him a Redbull or coffee or something. Things livened up with a new game, pin the dick in raw dogs face or something like that, because Grant Cobb forgot part of his tattoo gun. The object of the game was to spin around and try to mouth fuck a cut out of Rawdogs fave with a strap on. It was funny especially when it was Josh’s turn and he fell down and was trying to spin around while laying on the ground. After three minutes he finally managed to fuck his own mouth. Final calls were about the Ravens winning the Super Bowl, Anal beads and RC cars, Wills ass, Gurgling neck noises, and everyone wondering where them titties are at, it is Josh’s birthday show after all. Josh did get a very special present this year from yer mum, she got him nothing, no crabs, no lice, no venerial disease. It was the best gift from her ever, OH!