Daily Archives: November 13, 2012

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 11/13/2012

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Does this book really work? I’ve never read the fucking thing.

Happy Tuesday my fellow queef sniffers! Ellis made a list to remind himself to do something. The list says “Show” and then there’s a lightening bolt. And guess what? BOOM! There’s a show today, so chew on that shit! You know crazy Aussie guy who isn’t Ellis, but he calls Ellis and leaves Gregtallica messages on his phone? Yea, him, Gregsy. He started the “you’ve got the toss” shit, he’d grab Ellis’ forearms and tell him “me, you, we’re in!” and how nobody else knew, but they owned shit. Gregsy was a talented photographer, a creative guy, but from the sounds of it, also crazier than a shit house rat on a fishing boat. I’m not sure what exactly that means, but it’s pretty fucking serious. This lead into talk about the “life of the party” type guys and how later in life, things didn’t usually work out too great for them. Guess who’s bailing out of lifting weights at the gym? NOPE! Not Rawdog! That’s right, Ellis bailed on Rawdog. Ellis is just going to buy gym shit for his, says it’s too hard with the whole drive time thing to get to the gym in the morning. Hey, shout out to us on the show today, thanks to Will Pendarvis’ recent interview. Ellis hates the website, which of course is exactly what we like to hear, so things are looking up! Just in case you weren’t already sure, having a micro dick would fucking suck. A little contest on the show today, Stupid Things Celebrities Have Said. There was a lot of stupid and I didn’t bother keeping track of it all, so you’re just going to have to trust me about there being a lot of stupid, or you can always listen to the replay or on-demand shows. Tickets for Death! Death! Die! “The Wreckoning” featuring a dead horse’s cock on Saturday December 15, 2012 at Cheetahs Gentleman’s Club have gone on sale, so if you’re one of the lucky ones that can make it out to LA, go buy your tickets now.

New Music Tuesday? I got your NMT right here!

Next up, NMT and three tracks from the new Machine Fucking Head Live album. The first track was a solid 5 minutes of fans chanting “Machine fucking head”, then we heard a screamy track, then a track where Robb Flynn “fuckin’ thanks all the fuckin’ fans in that particular fuckin’ city” before going into the song “Darkness Within” with the crowd still chanting shit and trying to play sing-a-long. We also got to hear another full-on 5 minutes of talking from a new track off of Aerosmith’s latest album – which just so happened to be recorded merely feet away from where the guys are currently sitting. Trent Reznor made an appearance for his song on the Call of Duty: Black Ops II soundtrack. Next was a rapper named Murs, he said something about chains, pictures, elixers, and I think I heard a Snickers in there too. Christina Aguilera’s new song “Your Body” was played, pretty sure she drinks Go Girl energy drink. Another stinky piece of shit was up next, by Lana Del Rey, her rendition of “Blue Velvet” so you can guess how well that went over. Travis Barker & Yelawolf came in to put some funk on that previous stank, the first track was okay but nothing that’s going to make you okay with getting snowballed. The next track was full of rasta, and the final track played was kind of like spoken word Def Poetry Jam. Deftones were next and that shit got cut short as Mayhem entered the studio.

One more shout out. This is for everyone who participated on the Q & A with Will.

Mayhem entered wearing Chad Reed’s (from D!D!D!) helmet that he gaffled from EllisMania 8. He was thinking Ellis might give him a pop for not being on the show in such a long time, Ellis said he didn’t care, but it didn’t really sound like that was totally truthful. At any rate, Ellis and Mayhem fell right back into their typical routine and all was right in the world. Until… Rawdog mentioned there were still a few more tracks left on NMT. Shit. Okay, let’s just get this over with. A track from Green Day, if you’ve heard one of their songs, you’ve heard all their songs. Shitlicking Dickerson Aaron Lewis from Stained, he played some shitty country song. New Soundgarden track, it sounded more like the Soundgarden of old that everybody loved but have mostly forgotten about by now. Finally, Rawdog’s pick of the week – it was some fecal freak German band called Mouse on Mars, and as you might expect, it was pure shit. Hollywood news was the next segment, I was stuck in traffic while this bit played. I have no notes about it, so we’ll just hit the skip button here. Mayhem tried answering final calls but got fired from that when he wouldn’t stop talking so the caller could be heard – duties returned to Cumtard at that point. Your mom has finally fucked all the straight men in this world and so now she has to move on to gay men. The big dilemma, how do you get a gay guy to fuck your mom? Stick a log of shit in her pussy. OH!

Behind the Curtain with Will Pendarvis

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Some fans of The Jason Ellis Show have a Q & A session with Will “Shiny Shins” Pendarvis, the CEO of Faction 41, as well as the lonely, slightly disturbed, partially terrifying, but tireless boss of Swinghouse Studios. We asked the fans to submit questions they might like to ask Will, using the #AskShindarvis tag so we could track the questions. Here is a portion of what everyone came up with, along with answers straight from Pendarvis The Third himself!

@mike_in_canada: What was it like being another DJ at the same station as Howard Stern?
I used to be on the air in the afternoon at the same station in New York where Howard did mornings. That was the biggest honor I’ve ever had career-wise. Howard has always been extremely nice to me. To be listening to Howard and have him or Artie or Robin bring up your name out of the blue.. it may seem lame to some people… but it’s always exciting to me.

@sharkchucker: It seems like you were once a fun on air talent at one time. When and why did you give up?
I’ve had some awesome times on the air.. and I’ve actually done some good, unconventional, subversive, non-mainstream stuff on the air… but I always wanted to work behind the scenes. After I met Ellis I knew he was the guy who could do the on-air part… and I could work behind the scenes to use what I’ve learned to help promote and build the show. It’s the perfect scenario for me.

@sharkchucker: When the show started and Sirius / XM didn’t want Tully to speak, could you see the need for a smart guy? Was it set to fail?
Ellis could sit in a room and talk for four hours and be plenty entertaining on his own every day. He was born with that gift. I’ve championed Tully being on with Ellis because Tully is very funny and smart… but he also makes Ellis perform at his best. There’s no doubt at what Tully adds to the show.

@bitPimps: You used to be the “voice of TBS” and have an entry on IMDb. Do you think you’re hot shit or something?
Yes.

@AZ_RedDragon: When you lost your virginity was it special? How much did she cost?
Oh. I see. You are inferring that I had intercourse with a prostitute. That would only be made more humorous if you had indicated that it was a male prostitute.

@bitPimps: You’re coming up on 30 years in radio / tv / production. Is there anything you regret or wish you had done differently? And back then, did you see yourself in a different position from where you are now?
I would have invested money in Microsoft, invented bottled water and I would have signed Ellis to a 20-year management deal where I get 40% of his income.

@wiz1010: What is on those security tapes of swinghouse?
I have a few videos saved. One day when I have some time I’m going to transfer those videos and put them online. I have Josh being scared by Jason at 4am one morning… people stealing shit… Ellis getting kicked in the leg… there’s some good stuff on there.

@wiz1010: Why do you hate Tully so much?
Doesn’t everybody?

@wiz1010: If you we’re stranded on a deserted island and could have only 2 things, what and why?
A fancy hotel and a supermodel with very low self-esteem.

@tank_yanker: What did you do wrong that sent you from NYC to a shitty warehouse in LA?
I pitched the idea of Faction and building an LA studio and moving here to run it… I think this is awesome. If it’s meant to be a punishment it’s not working.

@sharkchucker: How many ex-wives and kids does it take to dull the optimistic sparkle in ones eyes?
Kids are awesome. Ex-wives? It only takes one.

@bwstrangler: When I’m stalking a woman in my car how many car lengths do I give them and when do I flash the lights and honk the horn?
At first you need to get right up on them. Make sure they know you are there. Then.. back off for a while. When you think they have relaxed… pull up real fast flashing your lights and honking. Repeat. Repeat. ..and then do it again the next night. …and wear a clown mask.

@sharkchucker: Can you openly tell the stories from the cocaine and whores good ole days of radio?
Yes.

@CrackerStacker6: Just how many women have you kidnapped and now remain in your “dead letter office”?
What? Are you a cop or something? You can’t prove anything. If you had anything on me you would arrest me.. so put me in handcuffs or get out of my face. Anyway- I have video that proves I was lighting fires when all those people went missing.

@bwstrangler: At what age did your children start riding a bike? Your children can ride a bike right?! u better not be raising rawdogs!
Rawdog is an awesome dude. That being said… I’m not raising any Rawdogs… not in my house.

THE END

Thanks to Will for doing all the behind the scenes stuff he does, for providing some button drops in front of the scenes, and for taking the time to do this Q & A session. He may have shiny shins, he might be a little rapey, but you can tell he loves the show and his 72 hour work days. Just kidding Will, we know you don’t listen to the show that much. OH!

Related posts: 2012: This Year In Pendarvis Images