Well let’s food it up!
Okay, it’s Monday, and the bus just pulled up to take us all to Awesome World. I know after this weekend some of you have issues with buses now, but I assure you, this bus ride is much safer – and way less sexy. So hop your Puritan ass aboard and let’s get this mutha rolling, shall we? So today starts the breakfast of champions challenge that originally started out as a bet between Ellis and Rawdog, but has grown to now include Tully – who is upping the game by eating a portion of what both Ellis and Rawdog are eating. Just in case all of this is news to you, let’s review. Ellis made a menu of 3 meals for Rawdog to eat, Rawdog made a menu of 3 meals for Ellis to eat, and Tully will be eating his choice from both menus. Breakfast today started with Ellis having a McGriddle, Rawdog having oatmeal with dried berries, and Tully had a sausage, egg, & cheese McMuffin and oatmeal. For lunch, Rawdog had a green drink and an acai bowl, Ellis had a Baconator® (yea I put the registered mark there – problem?), fries, and a drink from Wendy’s, and Tully had a chicken sandwich combo meal from Burger King. Dinner for Ellis will be KFC’s chunky chicken pot pie combo that comes with mashed potatoes & gravy, a biscuit, and a drink, dinner for Rawdog will be fish & a kale salad, and I think Tully is having a burger for dinner.
What? Did you think they ate souls?
Trampolines turn kids into crack addicted cats on catnip, or something very similar to that anyway. Rawdog and his girlfriend went to the crumping district in San Diego and stayed at one of her friends’ place. At nighty-night time, they started making out and doing some hand puppetry on each other – and then abruptly stopped just before Rawdog was able to release the Kraken. Ellis ran into some celebrity over the weekend, but Tully’s story takes honors when he ran into Glenn Danzig shopping at the same Japanese grocery store he was at. He tried to be sly about the whole ordeal so as not to be “that guy”, after awhile of following, the hunter became the hunted as roles reversed and Danzig started following Tully. Like a true champ, he stood his ground and eventually got a picture of Danzig and his girlfriend stocking up on wassabi or some shit. It’s gotta be weird running into Danzig as you and he are both out running normal, everyday errands.
The originator of the “No you are” defense?
Lucky girls @FaceplantLauren and @Shanwize1 were guests on the show today and Shantanee made the courageous choice to tell us she likes Fiver Finger Death Punch. As bad as that may sound to some of you, just remember that Rawdog likes Reverse Milk Magnet – therefore one could pretty much like anything and be in the clear. It sounds like there’s going to be a “round 2” fight between the girls at the next Ellismania, this time it may be the “Humongous Drunk Bitch Fight” as it was revealed today that Shantanee and her corner man were both drunk during the fight – now that’s a party! Vince Neil went some place and then got mad at some body and he yelled and stuff. Pee Wee Herman is 60 today, which is crazy when I think about him jerking off and using his signature voice to dirty talk. Some “band” (read: Tia, Jay, Mike, & Tom) did a cover of Death! Death! Die! – Put Your Balls On It, @CobraTits tweeted the link but I accidentally got credit for the tweet by mistake. Now that the record is straight on that, I had to set the record straight on one more thing… When your mom came to me and asked me to call a repairman because the dishwasher was broken, I told her I didn’t need to call anyone and I abruptly punched her in de face. Dishwasher has worked ever since. OH!