Racers Edge | No You Are

Welcome to the Friday recap live from Racers Edge in Burbank California! Actually it’s not live, or in California. I’m not even sure this is going to be posted on Friday, and that is the gift I bring you, spontaneity and procrastination. As many of you already know the Jason Ellis Show was live today from the go-kart track. Unlike the last time they were at Racers Edge, they have full reign of the place which makes things way easier to listen to. The first race up was the “listeners race” featuring such celebrities as Fonzo Blunt. Waiting for the next race, Tully told us a funny story about Shy Laboof getting arrested. I missed the name of the winner for the listener race, and I also forgot the name of the next race but I can tell you that this race has another celebrity in it, Greg Fitzsimmons. Not as impressive as Fonzo but still cool. I stepped away to get lunch and when I came back Kit Cope was bitching about the other racers that were blocking him and not letting him win, it was almost as of they were racing and trying to not lose.

Frank from The Fank Show joined the crew after the break. But more important than Frank are the hot chicks that Frank brought with him. I’m not sure what all of their names are except the one that’s last name is Shocker. Like “the shocker” “two in the pink, one in the stink!” Yeah that shocker and writing about that chicks last name is far more interesting than listening to them talk and try to learn the best way to drive the karts. Jason and Dingo took off to race leaving Christian and Tully to do their best to make these two girls interesting. Good job guys, you did the best you could with what you had. Dingo won the race with Ellis close behind then they ~~hit on~~ talked to the ladies there again. And that’s all I have to say about that.

There is an email being sent throughout the Denver EPA offices asking people to stop shitting in the hallway. And speaking of shitting in the hallway, we got to hear the girls talk about their race and bla bla bla. Not gonna lie, these girls suck at radio. But then Kevin came in to save the day and move the show along. Kevin brought the wheel of doom and being the good sport that he is he gave it a spin. Lucky him, Country Time! After Kevin finished his glass of ~~piss~~ lemonade Ellis had the ladies talk with the speech jammer. Riveting. The final race of this spectacular event was the Vagisil 5000. It was an exciting race with the winners being Emily in 3rd, Tully 2nd, and Hotdog walking away with the golden tampon trophy.

The final race of the day is the relay race. The fastest three drivers paired with the slowest three drivers. Dingo and Ellis started strong with Kit spinning out and falling a lap behind.

Winners of the relay race!

The switch off was

Ellis-Jacob
Dingo-Tom Fine
Kit-Shantanee

And in the last half something happened that immediately stopped the race and will probably require a written apology from Sirius XM and The Jason Ellis Show to Racers Edge. But I’m pretty sure they were warned so fuck them. So this concludes today’s live recap from Racers Edge. Have a safe Fourth of July, and remember, just because yer mum shoots bottle rockets from her swamp crotch doesn’t mean you have to also, OH!