It’s Friday, it’s Good, and nobody gives a fuck – actually, Jesus might give a fuck, and several hundred million other people too, but not us. Am I right, or am I right? Seriously, answer that question below in the comments. Ellis got himself a bad motor scooter today, it’s an Aprilia, and according to Donald Schwartz, it’s better than a Ducati. Sounds like it was given to him by Donnie Schwitz, or more likely on loan to him.

As most everyone knows, Ellis is going to be signing copies of his book, but now he’s going to sign a few with whatever he feels like or is a good suggestion from fans. Then people that order a signed copy of the book have a chance at getting one of these “specially” signed copies of the book. I think the best of the bunch were: 1 book has the VIP number, 1 book has Rawdog’s number – and he shat bricks so in a trade to get that book off the market, he wrote down the names of the 2 other guys he jacked-off with in the same book with the VIP number! Check out the #BookSigning for more awesome suggestions.

Someone is giving enema’s to people, made of other peoples’ shit – you know, to cure some kind of bacterial something or another. Which is weird because I was always told that 2 shits don’t make a right. There was talk about old people driving, I think we all know what’s up with that – old people are dangerous drivers. Sometimes I think they’re more dangerous than a teen driving drunk.

The rest was jibber jabber about all sorts of little topics such as; Australia’s fucked up animals, Russia’s new anti-gay law, some chick supposedly misplacing her winning mega-millions ticket at a McDonald’s, some dude got drunk at a wedding reception and went around challenging everyone to a fight, Amanda Bynes getting arrested for DUI, some dude wanted to know how to meet women because he’s on the road a lot – apparently he hasn’t met your mother yet, and that major whore you call “mom” has perfected her latest sexual maneuver – called the minivan. OH!