Did you know Cumtard’s mom (@MumTard) is now using her limited brain capacity for tweeting? That’s right kids, straight from the horrors of the Tard family comes the lady who birthed a moron. And no, that’s not me tweeting under the MumTard moniker. The show started off with Rawdog’s favorite topic, robots and the future, and of course he really, really wants to be a robot at some point. I really don’t know what else to say about all that, other than I hope his robo-dreams come true. And if I should happen to be turned into a robot after I die, I’m going to hack Robodog to be my maid and paint his exoskeleton pink with white polka dots.
There was some talk about Invisible Children and how they’re the hide and seek world champs. Ok, that was bullshit and just wrong, but felt oh so right. They actually talked about the latest social trending topic “Kony2012”, as well as what bits of the show they should keep – be it old or new, and the Big Fucking Mega-Boat movie with Don Squartz. Sounds like they’re going to paint dials on a piece of cardboard and just show it blurred in the background, what? In other exciting news, they’re also going to be making a music video for their Death! Death! Dubstep! song, and you all have a chance to be in it. You can video yourself dancing Michael Jackson style to the song in iconic or funny places and send the clips to: itsdonaldschultz@me.com
It’s new music day, and then that part was over. A caller asked Ellis for advice on how to get a stripper to do a little bit more. He asked the right person, Ellis had a full on game plan for the guy to follow – which went something like this: Get yourself some track pants and a t-shirt, go to the club and pay for a private lap dance. Each time the stripper is moving her ass up and down on your junk it’s pushing your shirt up just bit until she’s jacking off the top off your knob, then you blow a load in your shirt and go home. If that’s not the route you’re taking, apparently you’ve been doing it all wrong. I didn’t do the explanation any justice, it was actually pretty hilarious the way Ellis described it.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention this, and you know I couldn’t do that to you. Final calls for today’s show got a nice shot in the eye with a solid “CUM GOVNAH!” by the what must arguably be the best cum govnah’er, @QwertyRDS. He does a fucking excellent CUM GOVNAH! As good as he is, he pales in comparison to how your mom performs pterodactyls until she’s so full of jizz, she’s burping cum bubbles. OH!