Show Re-Cap for Monday 6/8/2015

goodbyeDingo spilled a little bit of smoothie right at the start of the fucking show, can’t take that guy anywhere. He cleaned it up though. Oh, yeah, the show is back from Austin and is in LA again. Billy Bob Thornton is in a movie with a 20 foot bear, a bear that eats other bears and shit. Dingo busted out a new word today, “exspecially.” He seems overly concerned about about Ellis’ new tattoo and if he had a donut on donut day. Mind your own god damned business, Dingo! Lutzka is now punch friends with Ellis, which is probably a bad idea for Lutzkavitch. Dingo revealed that he actually fell out of the ring at EllisMania but nobody noticed because they were all watching the barrage of fights. This led us into some MMA News about this past weekends UFC fights in New Orleans. Ben Rothwell was super awkward after his fight, nobody laughed, nobody knew if he was being serious or not, it was just cringe worthy. Lots of knockouts in the undercard fights. Dingo grew up on the water, he knows the ins and outs of seashells by the seashore, but not so much about walking fish. Scott Speed won Rally Cross at XTREME GAMES! He’s not the show’s new friend. Dingo found the XTREME GAMES pretty interesting. You got any scars on your face from when you were so young you can’t remember? Did your parents tell you some bullshit story about how you got that story? Because the truth is, your parents lost control and beat the shit out of you. Wanna see something hot, like a blonde girl spitting out a mouth full of blood? Well you’re in luck! If you want to see how that chick broke her nose, you’re in luck again! Need a wank break? Well I’ll be god damned if you’re not in luck yet again!

make-like-a-fuck-offPussy News time. And you just wanked it. Tampons may be a thing of the past now that leak-proof blood panties exist. That’s right ladies, now you can wear your menstrual blood panties and just bleed all over yourself! Tully caught the movie Chappie on the plane back from Austin, he describes it as Die Antwoord’s Woodsman. Clint Eastwood presented an award to The Rock and made a Caitlyn Jenner joke that Spike TV decided to cut from the show. Some lady in Siberia was attacked by a bear and buried alive. She was probably menstruating and wearing period panties. Ghostbusters was good. Police Academy was good too, but was it Ghostbusters good? Dingo thinks so. Ellis told Dingo about his stay in the haunted hotel in Texas, The Driskill. Dingo asked about the seance Ellis had, but Ellis doesn’t want to talk about it, so mind your own damn business Dingo! Somebody needs to go into Wikipedia and update Bubba Smith’s profile photo to a more flattering one. Crazy flooding in Northern Ireland is causing concern as embalmed bodies are starting to contaminate the ground and drinking water. Dingo doesn’t want his ashes added to a bottle of champagne so it can be sprayed all over Tully’s tits. What a selfish god damned prick, am I right?

he-did-party-that-hardMoto News time. What if someone didn’t get hurt? What if AMA let Chad Reed wear his camera? Why is AMA so jealous of the Reedous? Why hasn’t Ellis mentioned on-air that EM11 tickets are on sale? Got some EM11 fight ideas? Wolfknife Boner Donor does, why don’t you? You too good to come up with EM11 fight ideas? Do you wanna try out to be in the Biggest Loser fight? Send in your video to unless you think you’re too good for that. Musical Chair fight might just be for the ladies this time around, but that’s not solid yet. PLG sounds like he might be backing out of fighting at EM11. Metallica made a joke about Tony Hawk at their show this weekend. Tully made a poo-poo city joke to Fletcher and he didn’t even turn around. Professional athletes doing the crime and not doing the time, remember that conversation? Well it’s the same with celebrities. It’s almost as if you have shitloads of money, you can get out of being punished or at least receive a lighter sentence for your crime. To prove it, that’s exactly what they talked about on the show.

Will’s News time. I was driving during this entire segment so I got nothing for ya. You got a problem with that? After all I have relayed to you up to this point? What kind of bullshit are you trying to run on me, man? What, do you got a saggy, deflated vagina or something? Are you addicted to ink? Like tattoos, numb nuts, not like ink from a pen or octopus. Yo man, you got any ink? Ever suck a dick for some ink? I bet some of you have. Because you’re addicted! Addicted to ink! Or cock. Or maybe both! Apparently there are several TJES listeners who have been attacked by deer. Hey man, you’re there to shoot them so it’s only fair if they kick a little ass every now and then. Package deals for EM11 you ask? Why yes, there are. Go look for yourself. Hey, I heard Ellis is competing at the XTREME GAMES this year in Austin, is that true? No, I heard it. Oh, wait, they were over the weekend? Yeah, but what about package deals at the Hard Rock for EM11? Will there be package deals at the Hard Rock for EM11? Did you hear anything about package deals at the Hard Rock for EM11? I heard there are currently package deals at the Hard Rock for EM11. So go check that out. Package deals. Hard Rock. EM11. Is it sinking in yet?

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