Oh you! Thanks for reading!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I don’t get it, but whatever, it gives people an excuse to get shitfaced and eat corned beef & cabbage. Also, happy earthquake day! There was a 4.4 magnitude quake in the greater Los Angeles area today. I don’t get it, but whatever, how exactly does a posi-trac rear-end on a Plymouth work? It just does. Ellis still does not have aids, Dingo acts like he doesn’t, but he sounds pretty raspy today so it might not be a bad idea for him to get his levels checked. The show intro still needs work, specifically the beginning lines. So if you think you’ve got what it takes, then good for you. I don’t know what I meant by that, but whatever, how do magnets work? Disney World makes approximately bookoo monies per day, which is more than Disneyland. The Ellis children’s went to Disneyland this past weekend, there was a lot of fat people there. Wahlburgers. You seen it? Me neither. You plan to see it? Me neither. Let’s move on. Some Jessica girl called into the show to say Ellis got her out of a ticket because she had an EllisMate or Red Dragons sticker on her car. I’m calling bullshit on that, sorry Jessica. Charles Manson and fam lived with one of the Beach Boys & stabbed a Tater-tot. Dingo’s girlfriend is named Stephanie, and as far as we know, she has not claimed to have gotten out of a speeding ticket because she had a Dingo sticker on her car. Cumtard’s ready to party, he’s going to have some whiskey, some beer, and some green eggs – thanks to Tully. We learned that Cumtard thinks he can see orgasms. And he’s not even drunk yet. But whatever, it’s break time.
Drum roll please.
Kenda called in to discuss MMA News, UFC 171, and drunk chicks on St. Patty’s Day that have to do the walk of shame tomorrow. Ellis thought the undercard was better than the main events, both he and Kenda felt bad for Carlos Condit – so they have that in common. People want to see Nick Diaz fight Johny Hendricks and Kenda says Nick was there at the weigh-ins taunting Hendricks for not making weight and to pitch himself as Hendricks’ next opponent. Anyway, you can check out all that shit online. Sounds like Ellis might be able to race some cars, thanks to TJ Lavin. No details were given because talk instantly went into Ellis & Dingo having a vegemite vehicle, one of them being the passenger and bringing a mad mix tape, and a potential sticker for the truck of Tully bending over backwards and sticking his head between his legs. A guy called in to discuss a dude punching a shark, tully had some video and was trying to set it up while Dingo kept talking, which earned him quick “shut up” from Tully. Cumtard is doing more shots and making gross noises as he does so. His fuck partner, Alexa, is supposed to be coming by the studio so Cumtard can puke on her, but Wilson say’s that’s not allowed. Of course he says that, but let’s just see if anyone listens to him. So Guinness, along with other beer brands, mayors, etc. are pulling out of St. Patrick’s Day parade because lesbian and gay groups aren’t allowed to march openly. And with, it’s break time.
Heidi and Frank Show? No thanks.
That guy with a 132-pound scrote? He’s dead. From unrelated ball poundage, it was diabeetus! Speaking of death, Frank Kramer is in studio. He’s the co-host of the Heidi and Frank show. You heard it? Me neither. You plan to ever listen? Me neither. His illustrious career includes a stint on AM radio. You know you’re big time when you’re delivering the corn report on an AM station. Since he’s a whackety whacko radio guy, he was going to bring in some whiskey. But he didn’t. Not so whacky now, are ya Frank? Then he did a whacky shot with Cumtard. WHACKTASTIC! This is where Wilson found a reason to come in to bond with his terrestrial radio brethren. Anyway, let’s move on. Cumtard isn’t feeling any pain right now and he swears that Mike Catherwood has said the word’s “eating pussy” on Loveline before. Turns out, he did actually say that, which is absolutely WHACK-A-DOODY! I don’t know what else to say here. I don’t know Frank, I don’t know his show. So there ya go. Break time yet? Close enough.
Pull the show off the air?
Moto News time. Except there’s not shit to say about it. People rode their bikes, someone went faster than the others, and we’re all pretty sure Alessi is still a bitch-made ass target ass. Fuckin’ Frank is still here. But Alexa is in studio and instantly goes into how her energy drink isn’t doing nearly as much as her cocaine. Her cocaine isn’t doing a whole lot either so she’s thinking about getting into meth. She calls her relationship with Cumtard a win / lose situation because she’s fucking Cumtard, which raises his street cred while her’s go downhill. So the big question is, even though she has low standards, has Cumtard been getting her off? She says yes, but lets face it, she has no idea. Apparently they had their first little argument the other day because she ate someone elses’ puke and didn’t feel too good and didn’t want to go out. So cute. Their argument, not the vomit eating. Starting to get an idea of the caliber of girl that bangs Cumtard? Frank has a wad of money to pitch in if Cumtard pukes directly into Alexa’s mouth (aka baby bird). Pendarvalis (as drunken Cumtard pronounces it) comes in to say he has to take the show off the air if they go through with it. So what’s next? Alexa spit into Cumtard’s mouth. Not in that gross way, but in the classy way. Just kidding. They tried to get Cumtard to eat more eggs & onions so he would barf, he doesn’t want to eat onions. He continues to keep telling everyone how fun, funny, fun to be around, funner, funny, fun, and fun-fun she is. He finally eats some onion eggs from her asshole but doesn’t vomit. Alexa continues to abuse and emasculate him until the show to ended. And there ya go. Recap over.
