Make sure you all congratulate AZ_RedDragon on his recent sex change. He now proudly goes by Janice and has a sweet, perky rack. His life’s about to get REALLY exciting. Speaking of excitement, Tully and Jason have come to the conclusion that life is overall pretty boring, which is why humans are living so much longer than before. This spurred a conversation about being reckless as kids and Ellis thinks he will never not know when his kids do something reckless, even though we all know that’s not gonna happen. Tully told a story about being 14 years old and going to bar in NYC with some hot, older chick that totally wanted to bone him, but decided against it because Tully was so young. Man, when I was 14, I was too busy watching Jackass with my friends and making our own stunt videos to be at a bar downtown getting in on a bit of statutory rape. Some guys have all the luck. Ellis and Tully discussed the upcoming holiday of Father’s Day and Tully stated that he could give a flying fuck about it and Mother’s Day for that matter. Tully is one cold-blooded sumbitch. He plans on spending the holiday at some mansion partying it up and
doing blow off of hookers’ asses hanging with his family. Ellis and Tully discussed the upcoming UFC and Bellator events, which includes a bout between Kimbo “He’s Still Alive?” Slice and Ken “Where’s Tito?” Shamrock.
The guys read their nonerotic erotic fanfiction that they slaved over and let me tell you, it was HOT. Andrew’s Pete Rose-centered story was up first and told the tale of his legendary lumber and the time he (played by Tully) hit a homerun with the San Fransisco Giants’ laundry lady (played by Kevin). Will was up next and his story was centered on a used Fleshlight. The tale recalled a chance encounter that Andrew had with the community Fleshlight to the sexy tunes of Katy MegaTits Perry. Kevin was lucky enough to draw the always arousing subject of head trauma and told the tale of Andrew, who had suffered a head injury after an explosive fart, and the ass pounding he received from a horny nurse, a raunchy doctor, and the other patient in his room. Tully enticed us with his LEGO-centered tale entitled “Never Lego”, in which he recalls, in extreme detail, the erotic experience he had while building his LEGO fort. Ellis told his erotic dreadlock-centered story and succeeded in being the most offensive of them all. I creamed my pants no less than three times during that segment and if you want to do the same, go back and listen to it on the OnDemand channel.
Great news, everybody! There’s finally a cure for AIDS, Ebola, and Bird Flu! And would you believe that it was invented by our fearless leader, Kim Jong Un?! Well believe it because it’s true……at least according to North Korea and a picture of him wearing a white lab coat. There’s no way that can’t be definitive proof. Thank you, North Korea. Speaking of assholes, Tully’s kid asked him to scratch his asshole at a Farmer’s Market, which I’m sure isn’t the first time someone has asked that at a Farmer’s Market. Have you been to one of those? My asshole gets itchy just thinking about it. The guys asked listeners to call-in and talk about lies they’ve told their children. Of course the classic “mommy and daddy were wrestling” lie came up, which led to a discussion about the ethics surrounding having sex with a sleeping baby in the room.
Mad Child may possibly be performing Saturday night after the fights at EM11, which is pretty fucking awesome. Speaking of EM11, the guys went over some fighter submission videos and apparently no one knows how to film a video right side up. In retrospect, I guess that’s not too surprising considering the typical fan of the show has an IQ of 12. Will came in for his usual news segment and…well….news was discussed. The rest of the last hour of the show was spent just shooting the shit about random stuff and trying to figure out the best way to fix Kevin’s fucktarded back vagina. There you have it, another week in the books, which means you’re another week closer to death. Don’t worry though, it also means you’re another week closer to your next plate of nachos, so all is not lost.