It’s Monday, and we did it! We lasted an entire week without any live shows! But only because @Cullensaidthis put together some sweet “best of” licks, so quick shout out to that soon to be baby daddy. I’m not even sure I remember how to do re-caps anymore, but let’s give it a shot, like a shot of semen in your butt! HEYOH! You’re only as old as you feel, and Ellis feels twelve even though he finally caught radio AIDs from Rawdog & Tully while on his stay-cation. Dingo was there today, they were talking about Ellis being able to test out a bunch of new motorscooters last week, and we learned that Dingo broke his leg when he was about six – he rode his little dirt bike into a pile of bricks. We heard the re-telling of the epic story of Rawdog’s sister breaking his clavicle, and how he survived the whole ordeal even though his tough-ass didn’t want to go to the hospital at first. Hey, shout out to us today! Rawdog’s interview, Get Deep Inside Rawdog, got mentioned and we got made fun of, so that was fuckin’ awesome!
Big news, Evander Holyfield is rumored to be coming out of retirement at age 50, no word on if he plans to hock his own line of indoor grilling apparatus. Sounds like he’s broke, owes a landscaping company some skrilla, and was linked to… wait for it… a company that gave athletes steroids! Fifty is dropping butt burps all over the studio today, so he got banished to the prize chamber. Tully went to Japan last week, flying with his wife, son, and mother-in-law for twelve ma-fucking hours, while he was sick. They sleep on shitty futons on the floor while they’re in Japan, which has to suck puppy farts. His grandmother-in-law wanted to give him some local remedy for his sickness, a turpentine horse shit nose thing. Breakfast consisted of 9 different types of slime shit and a bunch of people sitting around loudly slurping down their slime breakfast – which was driving him nuts. Several times his wife’s grandmother didn’t realize he was in the room and so he would inadvertently see her in her underwear, over and over. Everyone spoke in Japanese, leaving him sitting in silence and bored while they yammered on about something, maybe uncooked slimy food.
Keeping on the topic of Japan, doctors had to remove a dildo from dude’s intestines before he died. And apparently Tommy Lee Jones is a goddamned legend in Japan, for some reason they like older dudes with more lines and wrinkles in their faces than Santa’s balls on a road map. In a totally straight, no homo way, what dude would you most like to fuck? Dingo fancies Leonardo DiCaprio, Tully wouldn’t mind doing Dwyane Wade, Ellis thinks Trent Reznor might be a solid choice, and Rawdog chooses Sam Elliott because he thinks it would be more like making love as Sam’s mustache would comfort him. All of this talk got brought to a screeching halt thanks to a very descriptive caller who had a clearly well thought out scenario as to how he would like to have sex with Tully. Turtles are completely fucked up, they shit their dick out and piss out their mouths. What in the mother of fuck is the deal with that? It’s like nature got drunk as fuck and lost a bet. Allegedly, Amish people are super into bestiality and incest, and I don’t think anyone is super surprised about this claim. Rawdog could use some ideas on outdoor activities that promote physical fitness, probably by himself for the time being, and fucking your mother in an alley doesn’t count, because everyone does that. OH!