You know how you can just look at the lady walking accross the street on her cell, and the chevy caviler doing a buck n change, also on the cell phone, and envision them meeting one another on a new episode of Most Shocking? Yeah well thats called seeing the future, and who else is better at this than The Future himself. Tully recogns its a dad thing and being SuperDad himself, and who am I to argue. Who can argue with some of the stories we fans send into the show, you know the one’s with a dude, well a dude’s head, attached to a bag, and how you “Gotta check this shit out”. Tully apparently gets a few hundred of those a day, which only means Ellis must get millions and RawDog, well lets just say he was giggling the whole time and is known to be a bit tweaked. Maybe he’s sending them all from various fake twitter handles, but I digress. Instead may I offer you a heart warmer story of how magnets do work, well that they do their job, cause no one knows how the fuck those things work. No one in Nascar seems to know how to make a fucking right, right! Yeah so the boys threw around some Nascar/Kimbo Slice stories all of which are available On Demand with the SiriusXM app. You could also catch the replay tomorrow via the online player, but not if your RawDog…..Today may be the saddest day in Ellis Show history, well except for the day Josh n Jason made out, as RawDog’s computer has passed away to ghetto gigabyte heaven. From there I kinda teared up and wasn’t myself ofr a mintue, I mean I feel for the guy, so I all really got after that was that everyone must surf to save energy to avoid nuking babies, yeah thats about right!
What rock jungle did you crawl out of? Well considering amazon.com is located in Brazil, Im not fucking with these dudes. I’m also not fucking with Joe Rogan, because he’d tweet my phone number and shit to get back at me. He would be an awesome announcer for EllisMania, but since he ain’t been asked its not looking good. Rabid wolves looked good, on a t-shirt and front and center at the LA Zoo, but for a limited time only I’m guessing. Apparently Tully says they like to eat dogs when all hoped up on the rabies, and they enjoy humans too (Didn’t catch if thats to hang out or to eat, but Im willing to roll those dice). They also eat you while your alive, which is really thoughtful since you’d just want it over with as slow and painful as possible. Rabid wolves can also been seen at the Hard Rock in Vegas this Saturday, October 12th and again, they are not harmful…..as long as you don’t spill their beer! Seriously folks I kinda missed a bit of the show but like Ellis do ponder if the bear proof steal suit guy could befriend rabid wolves cause he’s all inedible n what not. From there it was just gifts from Will not Pendarvis for all the boys to enojy such as Tim Tams and Caramel Koalas. Not EllisMate though, he’s gotta train to have all his mental energy to rig this upcomnig fight, so Tully n RawDog I say Good On Ya!
If your a dude born as a chic and you know it clap your dick!! And while your at it move your ass out to Cali baby where you can choose which bathroom you wanna use in elementary school. Kinda gonna put an end to Pimping Aint Easy, and shitty women’s basketball one could hope! Shout out to EllisFam Zach Howard who won the Ellis T-Shirt contest and will be receiving a new Wolfknives ring and a collab with The Wing to get this puppy up for sale! No shout out to those who sent in bomb drops cause TJES still needs a good clean bomb drop if you got one laying around. I guess Will Jizz Cult Pendarvis III has wolfknive names laying around cause some of the shit he had today was just miraculous. Such ledges as The Shocker, Holy Diver, The Tank, and who could forget Mr. Freezer. He did pull Kansas City Guacamole out of his ass, but thats just what he’s into since he’s got him that sketchy swordfish nutjob for his nut jobs, allegedly of course. So some baby in India blew up for like the 4th time, just minutes before they put my ass on hold to pay my cable bill. Its some phenomenon that people can just combust spontaneously, kinda like premature ejaculation for but a burning sensation before and during as opposed to after. That almost happened to Lance Mountain one time, not the early wad thing but the combustion deal. He lit a rag on fire after gassing up his board on his final run, but was too fast for that shit to catch so I’m guessing lost to “Hey Hey, It’s Tony Hawk” but who hasn’t.
Teen Advice anyone? I mean how can you tell if your gay? What if your pee is a dark brown, could something be wrong? How do you tell your girl to spot slapping and pinching you cause its hurting you? Who would buy a pack of socks to jerk off in? Oh, RawDog is the answer to that last one. Turns out The Illusionist makes his junk disappear into a pair of Hanes finest, but by himself as opposed to with two other dudes! Not anymore though as we all know he’s tagging more ass than something that tags a lot of asses, and why not. We all know the dudes who were cool in school grew up to be a tool, and those who fucked off turned out to be millionaires. Don’t believe me, then call 855-ELLIS41 at 7am on the east side, 4am on the west, and yell “FORE”. Not sure what the hell that is suppose to mean, but final calls can be shaky at times. Speaking of shaky, I was at Shakey’s one time when I noticed these two fine chics one the other side of the salad bar. So I shoved a cucumber in my pants to make them think I had a dick like a snake, you know for ultimate satisfaction, and proceeded past the diced carrots to get a closer look. I get around to the other side and ask this massive whale of a beast if she saw two ladies just here a second ago, and as she turns around I see a huge streak of shit stain drool down the front of her blouse only to realize my mistake……I didn’t look at her face, OH!