Y’all got your shit on fleek? Keeping it 100 and/or trill? Great! Good to hear! Keep on keepin’ on, brothers and sisters! Ellis didn’t realize Pet Sematary had dead cats being buried and coming back as zombie cats. Why you gotta go burying dead pets and kids on sacred ground when you know them shits are coming back all evil and zombified? Big surprise here, Tully has never seen it. Ellis has been waiting for his kakoozie and pool to be all cleaned and working. He’s really been waiting for the kakoozie dude, but kakoozie dude was lollygagging and shit. Good news though, shit got cleaned, shit got working, and Ellis got 10 minutes to pool and kakoozie out before work. Andrew claims he’s being told by the “legitimate” lie detector guy that he can’t come on to do no Circus McGurkis type lie detecting or he’d be kicked out of the lie detector community. This sounds like a load a horse shit to me, I think Andrew is trying to hide his guilt. This show is not moving forward until Andrew admits he farted. It’s not even about the fart anymore, it’s about the lies, the deceitfulness of it all. How can anyone in the greenroom be trusted now? Everyone knows who did it, but nobody is willing to throw the guilty party under the bus. Andrew’s now mad, Ellis is mad, Tully is going to literally beat the shit out of someone, and Will is still swearing at his children.
Animals like to get fucked up wasted. Horses love that locoweed, rams like that lichen, wallabys like something else that gets them fucked up too. But enough about that, let’s talk show intros. You got any? You’d be a lot cooler if you did! I guess that’s okay, because neither does the show. Someone (the fart liar) was supposed to drag in a new intro, but he didn’t. He said he was, but he wasn’t – because he’s a fart liar. So anyway, they’re looking for dark, heavy music to be added to the intro – think like Sunn-O style, straight into Motley Crue, and then straight into something else that’s heavy. The search went on, the guys listened to a bunch of different songs to try and find what they were looking for. Sepultura is a strong contender for one of the spots in the intro. Tully’s voting for Dokken, but something tells me that won’t be making the cut.
Get ready to cream your teen pussy out, Tyler Posey is in the studio. Yay. Tommy Chong is once again battling cancer, rectal cancer. Boo. I really don’t have anything to say about Tyler Posey. I’m sure he’s there to talk about him potentially fighting at EllisMania 11. Anyway, if teen heart throbs are your thing, I guess you’re in luck? I don’t know. Here’s a nice picture to look at instead.
Dana White called into the show to talk about how some chick is super exciting to watch. Not “watch” like Will watches bitches, but “watch” like as in fighting. I know, right? He also got fired up about how training needs to evolve along with MMA because these dudes aren’t training for their upcoming fight correctly. Tully thinks maybe Dana should switch to half caff, but in the nicest possible way of course. Some dude got back at his wife for paying too much attention to the dog and not him. How did he get back at his wife? He fucked the dog. Time to look at some fight videos of fans who want to be in EllisMania fights. Wolfknives Wednesday is now a legit thing on Instagram. Each week, Ellis will look through the photos hash tagged with #WolfknivesWednesday and choose the best one. He will then re-gram that shit and tell Andrew to get off his fart liar ass and send that person some swag. It’s also official that Ellis will be going on the Howard Stern show for the 4th time, I totally spaced on the dates, but it’s like you’re personally invited anyway. Just listen to the show and you’ll catch it. And that pretty much sums up what happened on this day in your life.