Every man and woman should stand naked on a mountain top and feel the wind blow past their balls. One of the best things in the world is naked back yard time. You feel nature the way nature was meant to be felt and your neighbor spies on you the way your neighbor was meant to spy on you. Ellis found a chair that he wants to have in studio and passive aggressive Will said he can ask Sirius to buy it but it would probably take fifty thousand weeks and go through a train of office jockeys before it arrives. Or Ellis can just buy the fucking chair himself and be done with it. Donald Cerrone got punched at Whole Foods but some dumbass who got a free pass in life because he still walks among us. How do you feel about you’d significant other having a tattoo the got with or for their Ex’s? Ellis doesn’t like it, surprising, and Tully could give a shit. Unless it’s a picture of his dick or something. This conversation sparked the best caller ever! Her name is Dana and instead of trying to capture all this awesomeness in words I will let you listen for yourself.
In Aussie News a bogan got shot at for doing burnouts in his neighborhood like any good Hoon would do. But more importantly than this story is that the reporter covering it is hot. I couldn’t find her on the interwebs because my skills aren’t as good as Tullys but trust me, he said she’s hot. What do you think the next great human evolution will be? Will we have gills and live under water? Will we have wings and soar with the eagles? Will dudes be able to have multiple orgasms? Or is Andrew right and we will no longer have fingernails? I think were all just going to be the same and nothing will change because we are the pinnacle of awesomeness. Dana called back to inform us that we will all look like aliens because the aliens that visited us are just us from the future. That and her boyfriend is sporting a massive piece, huge 11 inch Pringles can hog.
Hey remember that story about the Hoon that got shot at for doing burnouts about a paragraph or two ago? Well here’s the interview with the crazy old bastard that shot at him. Plus you get to check out Hannah Dawkins sweet rack in the video. Tully was right, all praise Tully. Will came in next with his signature segment, Wills News, because he is Will and this is his news. The government recently released Bin Laden’s job application for Al Qaeda. Scientists have discovered a way to make a DIY home heroin brewery. Then there was more Wills News but I forget what it was. Oh I remember, It was informative, interesting, and important, and Will has an 11 inch cock. Sucks you missed it. The guys next assigned more Wolfknife names, if you want to browse the Wolfknife Registry then just follow this link to the page. Do you have cooties? I had them once but I got a circle circle dot dot and that was my cooties shot. Damn that was stupid, but keeping with the theme the guys watched a trailer for the Cooties movie whick seemed awfully similar to another story we know about babies with a disease that attack people. Hmmm, wonder where they got that idea.
I’m pretty sure they started Final Calls early because Clayton called and he was the most exciting and energetic caller ever. Actually he found out that his aunt was found brutally murdered and he is totally sober, except for being completely obliterated on whiskey but other than that he is sober. His mom is also no help because she is apparently an alcoholic and that won’t work for a sober dude like Clayton so he called for advise. The only advise Ellis can give, as well as anyone, is to put down the bottle and get some real help. Also he has an 11 inch cock. Sumner Redstones is celebrating his 92nd birthday with his girlfriend and ex girlfriend. They say that he is such a party animal that he insisted on having the party and that even though he is so incredibly old he is still as vibrant and youthful as ever with his 11 inch cock. Some of the entertainment at the party will consist of Tony Bennett and yer mum, doing the ping pong ball trick, but with basketballs, OH!