If I hear any more about Bruce Jenner, I’m gonna go American Psycho!
Ellis is there, flanked by Dingo and Tully, say hi to Will and Cumtard, and fuck you to Andrew. Cumtard’s hair is the subject at the start of today’s show, he has enviable hair, thin, but not balding. Ellis thinks Kevin should slick his hair back, but Kevin feels like he looks like Spy vs Spy because he has a pointy face. Cumtard’s rocking a weird part ginger hair color and a comb over. If you didn’t know Cumtard, to look at him, you might tend to think he’s a jobless stoner, but if he got a haircut and used a little bit of product, he could look more like a member of the human race. The Gymkini is ready to expose his first stunt, jumping over a table top, Gymkini got injured too – a cut on his leg. Quick MMA News: A man identified as Jon Jones was seen running from a hit and run accident with a large handful of cash, there was weed and paperwork in the car that belonged to Jon Jones. The paperwork, maybe the pipe too, but for sure the paperwork. So apparently that whole detox thing must be working out pretty well. Bruce Jenner. I could not give any less of a shit. You were told not to watch it, but the show spent like 30 minutes talking about it. Will says there is some potentially heavy shit happening in Baltimore, the police say they have received credible threats that rival gangs have teamed up to take out white officers because an alleged criminal died while in their custody. We saw happened in Ferguson, now you’re seeing it happen across the country, you’ll probably be seeing more and more of this.
Bruce has nothing on Paul McCartney.
More MMA News, there were fights at UFC 168. Somebody watched them, but that somebody wasn’t me, I was watching playoff hockey. Dingo flipped between UFC, basketball, and hockey. Sounds like there was some boring fights in the latest UFC, but also sounds like Joe Rogan saved the day with his professional announcing. People on the show are liking Bisping more and more, at least in this last UFC. Gymkini raised $2,600 for charity, it’s going to Tony Hawk to open up more skate parks and shit. With that, we get a photo from the first stunt Gymkini did along with a threat; “if Ellis’ Twitter doesn’t reach 200k followers, he’ll shut it down and stick only to Instagram.” Moto News: Eli Tomac won, Chad Reed’s back is hurt, Ryan Villopoto looks sad and isn’t winning anything in Europe, and that’s about all we got there. Back to UFC, the fake walkout music needs to go and Dingo thinks there shouldn’t be a fight every single weekend, but Ellis disagrees. Tully thinks they should wait a month and then show all the best fights over the past month, like a “best of” episode. Back to Bruce Jenner again. And back to me still not caring in the slightest. They did mention Ellis’ uncle Jock, wanna hear Ellis call him on the radio? Tully son has seen a new monster at their house, that makes 3 monsters now that are currently living in the Tully household. This kid gives details like names, what their faces look like, if they have sharp teeth or not, etc. CM Punk is now calling out the Green Power Ranger, who only has 60k followers on Twitter. Turns out that’s not true. Dingo’s driver was trying to converse him to Christianity last night. He means “convert” and not “converse”, but you know, pound for pound. A new religion has been created during the show, Gymkology. There’s a domain name for it and everything, so you know it’s legit.
It’s time Ellis Jeopardy, not Dingo Jeopardy, Dingo will be playing along with Cumtard and Tully. There’s going to yelling, lots and lots of yelling. Tully will no doubt win because he always wins. Candied bacon is a thing, according to Will anyway. Andrew is still arguing history and still doesn’t believe in it, at all. There is a video out with David Hasselhoff in it, it’s pretty much the most realistic thing I’ve ever seen in my entire Gymkology life. That’s pretty much all I got for ya. Keep your head in the clouds and your feet on the pegs of life and go forth. ~Gymkology 3:16