Old Man Winter can FUCK RIGHT OFF! Alright, now that that’s off my chest, let’s get to the re-cap. Ellis started the show off talking about onsies and how he thinks chinchilla fur is some kind of super fur because of how soft and plush it is. Hot Dog was called into the studio and was asked if he’s still wearing blown-out boxer shorts (he was), which led to Ellis talking about how awesome his Under Armour ones are. They’re like some future technology that keeps your balls from touching your knees, which sounds great and all but have you ever swung your nuts back and forth on a hot, humid day? It’s weirdly satisfying. Speaking of old, droopy balls, George Clooney is getting old as shit yet still looks the same as he did before I got my first pube. Pretty sure he’s a vampire. Once again, Will’s path of sex-filled destruction got brought up and it was revealed that he smokes a Cuban while he fucks bitches and if they’re done before he finishes his cigar, Will puts it out on their skin. Word is he’s working on a smiley face on one of his regulars. Stephan Bonnar is going to call into the show, and apparently Hot Dog doesn’t know who he is. For shame. How can you not know one of the people who fought in the greatest MMA fight of all time? I still remember watching that blood-filled slugfest and thinking it was the craziest shit I’ve ever seen. After Hot Dog’s awesome Aussie accent on yesterday’s show, Kevin thought it would be funny to rap battle him in Aussie accents. Holy shit was he right. I HIGHLY recommend you go back and listen to it if you get the chance (the On Demand channel is your friend). After that incredible display of rapping prowess, it was time for Stephan Bonnar’s phone interview. For those that don’t know, he’s fighting Tito Ortiz in Bellator and there’s a ton of heat between the two of them. In typical Tito fashion, he’s being a dick and Bonnar called him out on it. This is Bonnar’s first fight since retiring over a year ago, so ring-rust might be an issue. My money is that he comes out and hands Tito his ego-bloated ass.
After the break, this week’s Thursday bonus show was pumped and it’s the one we’ve all been waiting for…THIS BOYCE LIFE! If you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me explain: Dave Boyce (brother of Red Dragons creator Sluggo and head designer of all RDS gear) and fellow skateboarding celebrity, Renee Renee host a podcast and it’s been really successful in its short lifetime. Since this re-cap is coming out after the show will be over, I recommend using your good friend, the On Demand channel, to listen to it. The guys watched a video of a New Zealand cricket announcer make the call on a homerun that ended up hitting his rental car. Woops. The guy took it like a champ, though. The video of Ellis kicking Will into submission that was filmed yesterday is now on the website. Go check that shit out. Tully brought up a news story about a study conducted by the University of Amsterdam that came up with a list of the most top 10 most memorable songs of all-time. Here’s the list: Aerosmith’s “Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing”, some song by The Human League (I’ve never heard of these clowns either), Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You”, MJ’s “Beat It”, Roy Orbison’s “Pretty Woman”, ABBA’s “SOS”, Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance”, “Eye of the Tiger”, “Mambo No.5”, and lastly Spice Girls’ “If You Wanna Be My Lover”. Who the fuck did they conduct this study with?! Morons.
We return from break with the guys watching video of a crazy Christian “exposing” Monster Energy as a satanic company that will bring about the anti-christ and the destruction of all humankind. This lady is fucking bonkers, so much so that it’s hilarious. If you haven’t seen the video, go watch it and laugh at her stupidity while you sacrifice a goat and quench your thirst with some delicious, satanic Monster. Not that you asked or wanted to know, but I just took a huge shit and it was awesome. Anyway, celebrity pornstar, dominatrix, and sexual advice pro, Ash Hollywood came by to help Tully and Ellis become hookers. Tully wants to be a street hooker and Ellis wants to be a high-class slut. Ash gave some advice to help them get started such as always carry mace, wear heels that you can run in, and never use your real name. Ash had the guys pretend to make some Craigslist ads to promote themselves, which apparently is how a lot of hookers get started. Turns out Tully is a natural born hooker and was having way too much thinking about being a hooker. Ellis’ goal was to simply be the highest paid hooker out there and live the high life. Shocking.
“You’re gonna put what in my ass?!”
After the final break, we returned with a big run of news. Blake Griffin bitch-slapped a guy in a Vegas hotel because he kept taking pictures of him and the flash was annoying him. Seems rational. Andrew the Giant stomped his way in, destroying villages and killing thousands along the way with some news stories from the past week. The National Veteran’s Day concert caused a stir when Eminem performed a set and dropped around 50 “fucks”, which somehow came as a shock to the promoters. What the hell did they expect, the Sugar Hill Gang? Bruce Springstein also caused some controversy with his selection of songs that could be deemed as “anti-war”. Receding hairline denier Lebron James doesn’t want his kids to play football because he thinks it too dangerous. Pussy. And finally, controversy over trans-gender MMA fighters was stirred-up once again and the consensus is that it’s all too complicated for any of us to figure out right now. Final calls wrapped things up and that does it for today’s show. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to pass the fuck out and dream about your hot sister.