Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Unless you die after reading this, then it’s your last day. Thank you for spending it reading this nonsense. Ellis is still doing pirate radio because he hasn’t signed his new contract yet. This also means that he can bail out early today and start his weekend at Palm Springs early. If you don’t live in Cali then your
probably not familiar with the California rich people lane, it’s this special lane that you have to pay to drive in but nobody knows how. It probably has something to do with Scientology. The guys talked a lot about inhuman looking celebrities like Robert Downey Jr, The Rock, David Lee Roth, Tony Hawk, and bitPimps. After describing how all these people wouldn’t fit in at a Buffalo Wild Wings on a Saturday night after shopping at Walmart they got into UFC bets. I’m not too sure who all they bet on but if you want up to date MMA news I suggest you check in with NYA’s new UFC correspondent Shantanee. I should probably tell her that she’s now apart of the crew, my bad. Russia lost a geko sex satellite so if you were wondering how the Russian space sciences are going, they’re letting animals fuck in space. Russian science kicks ass. Speaking of kicking ass, what if you had to fight Rhonda Rousey? I’ll tell you what I would do, first I’d break her fists with my face, then I’d wear her out with multiple punches to my torso, and when I have her right where I want her, I’d poop myself and curl into the fetal position. It is my undefeatable self defense strategy.
In Aussie News more Aussies are pissing in their mouths, get it up in ya mates. KarateTard brought in chopping wood he got from “the hardware store.” I’m pretty sure I can’t say The Home Depot for some legal reason. Kevin, Jetta, and Hotdog broke boards like board breaking karate champions and then for the final display of fighting mastery Kevin broke three boards at once and thusly proving himself a karate champion. So not if any 12x12x1 pine boards try to take over the studio we know who will be there to protect us all! We heard a new game today. It was a game where we had to guess if it was a tweet from one of the Smith kids or a quote from Charles Manson. It was an entertaining game and in the end we learned that one day the Smith kids will kill many people and get swastikas tattooed on their foreheads.
In Ohio two guys got harassed by police for mentioning Nickelback, which proves that even in Ohio being a fan of Nickelback is an offense. Marky Mark came in to debut the new Wolfknife necklace because rings were too hard to launch because apparently people have different sized fingers. Imagine that. After Mark explained how he makes kick ass shit for really rich people and may or may not know mafia people, Christian brought us more stripped vocals. They were awesome, if you didn’t hear them you should have and now need to punch yourself in the taint for missing it. Here are the artists he brought us. The Beach Boys, Bruce Springsteen, Johnny Cash, Chumbawamba, Ozzy, Whitesnake, Alice In Chains, Smashing Pumpkins, bitPimps, and of course we can’t forget Freddie Mercury. Mainly because Christian won’t let us. Also in the middle of all that Jetta had to spin the wheel of doom and got the Electric Jesus and had to kiss Will. Will acted like he didn’t like it but his eyebrows, ummm, said differently?
A Guy visiting a Brazilian jail was caught with two phones, two batteries, pliars, nails, some puzzle pieces, a 63 Chevy Nova, to Picassos, a Sugar Glider, and bitPimps hidden inside his butthole. The show was interrupted with some Breaking News, Kit Cope isn’t pleased with Jason’s criticism of Kits performance of The National Anthem. Who would have guessed that Ellis didn’t think that the angelic voice of an MMA fighter would compare to the vocals of other top performers like Nick Diaz or Michael Bisping. Towards the end of the show we learned that Ellis doesn’t like being told what to do. And if you are a new listener, he also doesn’t like bee stings, dying, or assholes on the road. But the one thing he likes is yer mum, twice, while I wrote this, OH!