Happy Thursday said no one ever! Ellis is feeling the pain of his workout and today on the mean streets of Hollywood a crazy 200 pound white broad called Ellis a N bomb and a F bomb and tried to flinch him then pissed while staring him down. Being quick on his feet he
was able to get it all on Ellismania.com. Also on Ellismania.com is Ellis’s new signature sunglasses. Okay I don’t know if that’s where you get them for sure but it’s a pretty good bet. They started talking about teachers and shitty smart parents that bug them too much with all their brainy brains and having to do good in school because you can’t just get “dummy” jobs anymore like digging ditches or working in the oil fields of Canada. They also talked about starting your own business or getting on TV but I wasn’t really listening, I was busy digging a ditch.
And back from the music break we are graced with Hollywood blabber mouth Sam Ruben. He thinks that he can fight Tara Patrick in Ellismania 9, either because he likes hitting girls or because he enjoys punching chicks, but I’m sure it’s all in good fun. They talked something about a charity bike ride, shit about The Today Show, and a whole bunch of other Hollywood shit that I tend to drown out. The only thing worse than Hollywood News is Hollywood News on steroids. Then for a nice turn of events they talked about movies, actors, my balls, Rawdog’s diet, Ellismania fights, and this one guy that did that one thing with the other dude that was totally rad.
All porn productions have been shut down because an unknown performer has tested positive for HIV. Even this is the second case since 2004 you know that all the anti porn blue balled mother fuckers are gonna crow about shit that they have no business sticking their pretentious noses into. Ellis’s arm is sore because he tore something while working out so he’s taking it easy to heal. Unfortunately he doesn’t have the money to hire a masseuse to work it out. Happy endings are expensive. Rawdog plans on doing cardio much like the Onnit challenge but easier. A Northern Arizona family got lost at sea while trying to escape the government for religious causes. Being from Arizona it’s safe to say that they had no nautical experience and should have died at sea like God intended them to do. God doesn’t like idiots either. Tully thinks that all the crazies and bible thumpers and every other skitzo that hates the government should be given Wyoming. That way they can live in whatever kind of chaos they prefer. Besides, nobody’s using Wyoming anyway, it’s like that corner of Americas back yard that has an old tire and a few pieces of wood and a rusty bicycle from the 50’s.
An English chick is going to marry a man on death row who shot a dude at 16 and then strangled another inmate earning his spot in old sparky. Hope they don’t forget to wet the sponge. Crazy people, am I right! Some dumbasses called and then one smart dude called suggesting that they have a comic open for DDD and it’s defiantly a suggestion to consider. Then there were more dumb callers but this time it was on purpose in the quest to find the dumbest caller and there are quite a few great contestants.
If you want to win stuff and fight at Ellismania 9 then send in your video of yourself hitting a heavy bag for three minutes to Juliet, The Web Mastress, at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also send in your singing videos through Instagram, just take a video of yourself singing a Death Death Die or Taintstick song and put @wolfmate and #ellismania9 on it. Heather Mills now has a silver metal for skiing in the New Zeland solemn skiing something or other, not bad for a one legged bitch. Ever wonder what it would be like to watch Mike Tyson play Mike Tyson’s Knockout? Well wonder no more! A dude on bath salts went on an ass kicking spree punching a kid and taking his skateboard, kicking a dog, beating a dude with a shovel, and pushed a man in a wheelchair down the street saying, “You’re coming with me!” I’m not gonna lie, that last one made me laugh. The Huntington Beach Bad Boy is at the end of his internship today. He is going back to school tomorrow where you can hear him on collegeradiocrap.com.ed.au. Or ChapmanRadio.com whichever steaming pile of shit you prefer to listen to. Also follow him on Instagram, @AdamMann24, where there are riveting pictures of him and Wilson in some artsy fartsy filter. They ended the show with the high speed recap guy. If this guy reads these please get in contact with myself, @Az_RedDragon or @bitPimps. Or you can just tell our mum because you’re poundin that pussy yo!
Oh yeah, OH!