Show Re-cap For Wednesday 9/19/2012

This is my sexy face.

It’s Wednesday and you’re stuck with me again! HAHAHAA! MUHAHHAA! I’m filling in for my bronie @AZ_RedDragon so you’re just gonna have to put up with me. The show actually started a few minutes early today, and Ellis already doesn’t like where he lives. He’s going to start training Katie in the art of war, wait… not war, boxing I think. Rawdog went to Ralph’s (a supermarket) while stoned. I don’t know how that’s news or even note worthy, but there ya go. In other news, Lady Gaga has gotten chunky. She said she’s laying off the alcohol and is now smoking more weed, and I assume scarfing down Zagnuts like they were the last thing on Earth.

Shame! Shame on all of you!

Since yesterday, Rawdog is continuing to receive threats, except now it has escalated into a kick to de face or a potential lynching. Ellis says everyone working for United Airlines is fat, they suck, and if their serving drinks – their ass shouldn’t be hitting you while they serve said drinks. Also, Ellis says Amy Schumer is a little chubby (compared to Katie), and then guess who called into the show shortly after that? Yup, Amy Schumer. She wanted to know what exactly was said because her feelings were hurt, and Ellis fessed up to what he said. There was a point there where she specifically said she wouldn’t come on the show any more and that would be the last time they talked. However, things got a little more clarified and it appeared to end on good terms, only time will tell for sure. If nothing else, it made for some interesting radio when she called in.

This is the only blue ice you’ve ever seen.

That company that made the hologram Tupac? Yea, their dead as disco now, broke as fuck, so no hologram Elvis or Michael Jackson for you! Noted MIA racist known as Donald Schultz stopped by the show, he’s been super busy with shows and entertainment shit and that is why it’s been several months since he’s been on the show. Schultz tried to tell us that planes routinely jettison human waste and fuel, which in the US is totally fucking false. That shit might happen in South Africa or in the movie Joe Dirt, but not in this corner of the world. Anyone else noticed all the song breaks today? I sure did, Ellis didn’t seem real into it, and sure enough – later in the show he admitted he’s sick and if Rawdog and Tully didn’t take over or some sluts called in, we would be left with a best of or something else. Some John dude sent in an audio clip of him AIDs farting and that seemed to cheer Ellis up a little bit.

If she’s pregnant, she must be a slut, right?

Thankfully there were some potential sluts that called into the show, so onward we went! One caller likes to lick pussaaay, another caller fucked a dude 3 or 4 times in one night, and survey says they are not sluts. Then we got another caller, she slept with 2 dudes (months apart) but both dudes live with each other and she’s a screamer – DING – she’s a slut. Some chick would get drunk and mess around with a dude wearing a Scooby-Doo outfit on while he fingered her, she thought his dick was too small so she didn’t fuck him. Not a slut. Yet another potential slut called in, she was 17 and at a house party looking for her girlfriend, she opens a door – no friend, just some dude – so she fucked him. She continues looking for her friend, this time behind door #2 – again, no friend only a dude – so she bangs him too. Continuing her quest, she opens door #3, and again no friend, just a dude – so naturally she fucked him as well. DING – DING – DING, she’s a slut. Another chick slept with her friend’s “boyfriend”, who she claimed “they aren’t really together, together“, so we’re left with the question of what the fuck does that mean and of course a DING, she’s a slut.

Did you hear Monica “Chunky Cheeks” Lewinsky is writing a tell all book about her time with President Clinton, who she alleges has an insatiable appetite for threesomes. Anyone else find it funny that the cow used “insatiable appetite” in her sentence? A bra-less Katie with sweaty boobs stopped in during finals calls. There’s no real significance here other than boobs, I’ll write about tits 9 times out 10, that’s just how I am. Continuing today’s theme of “chunky”, I ran into your mom one time while she was working at a gas station. I walked in and asked her, “Can I please have a Kit Kat Chunky?” She reaches over and grabs a Kit Kat Chunky and sets it on the counter. “No,” I said, “I wanted a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch.” OH!

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