Show Re-Cap for Friday 5/15/2015

Today we mourn the loss of the great BB King. He was an inspiration to musicians everywhere and a legend in his own time. The world is a sadder place with him gone. May you rest in peace.

Welcome to the show after the show. But this really isn’t a show, it’s pretty much just a really short book with pictures. Some that move too! The Egyptians didn’t have moving pictures but they did build the pyramids. But so did we, and ours is way cooler with bars and restaurants and casinos and way less dead people inside. Dudes have worn makeup tumblr_inline_mgbwpedrvW1qmk5snfor billions of years, popular belief is that they wear it to intimidate their enemies and to attract potential mates. Also because they look fabulous! Snap! Snap! Snap! Ellis was talking with our friend Meaty Oz today and Meaty reminded Ellis about an old show that aired in Australia called Blankety Blank and it was the Aussie version of The Match Game. Ellis is thinking about recreating the show with friends of the show sitting on the panel. I think it might be a pretty good idea, sounds funny. The Jason Ellis Show is looking to change up the old tired look of the new studio they’ve been in for about a year. Some of the ideas include a fish tank for shitting, a wax figure of Batman and Kevin in a 69, remodel the studio to look like a bathroom, and probably the most intelligent idea ever, have experts come in and do it right.

Yum Brands, the company that owns Taco Bell, is applying for a liquor license at their newest location. The food will still suck but at least you’ll be able to get drunk enough to not give a shit. Segwaying from shitty food, Will brought in a bunch of new music to see what will work for Faction.

  • Hell no
  • Fuck no
  • Meh
  • I’m not offended by this
  • Hahahaha NO
  • What the fuck
  • Seriously what the actual fuck
  • Now you’re just messing with us
  • This isn’t funny Will
  • Fuck you Will FUCK YOU
  • I hate new music
  • People need to start suggesting good music

In 2011 a Brazilian court ruled that a chick is allowed to flick the bean and finger jam herself while watching porn at work. Speaking of finger banging Emily Morse of Sex With Emily podcast came in today to talk about patting the bald man in the canoe and beating downloadthe purple headed one eyed yogurt slinger because it’s National Masturbation Month. If you’re a frequent listener of Love Line then you know who Emily is, if not then she’s pretty much the next generations Dr Ruth but way younger and way hotter and doesn’t have a weird accent. Plus she claims to have a petite vagina so there’s that too. Emily explained to the masses many 200495136-001many different techniques to whack your willy. Far too many for me to list here but if I tell you anything it’s this, pull on your skin chandelier before you’re about to throw ropes and be careful with the butt, it’s fragile, love it with a slow hand and lots and lots of lube. If you have any questions about sex, how to have sex, sex positions, sex toys, sex lube, sex clothes, sex food, sex cars, sex books, sex houses, sex couches, or anything that might even come close to having anything to do with your genitals hit up Emily on Twitter at @SexWithEmily and check out her website, sexwithemily.com.

Not only is California in a mega drought but also have a plague of bird flu spreading like wildfire. Why you ask? Well if you ask this one dumbass, Bill Koenig, on a dumbass radio station the blame only rests with one group. The gays! Because of them this asshole is still on the radio, it’s the gays responsibility to drag this man into the streets and beat him with your stiletto heels and designer purses! However if you ask Bill O’Riley the problems835169 in the world is because of rap and hip hop music. That’s a pretty ballsy move, I wouldn’t blame them for anything but making shitty music and I wouldn’t even say that to their face. I think the “decline of society” is the result of these dumb motherfuckers acquiring positions of power and authority with a bunch of other dumb motherfuckers doing dumb motherfucking shit that fucks up the rest of us smart motherfuckers. Speaking of smart motherfuckers a bunch of them didn’t call at the end of the show just your usual dumbasses. But some time in the near future the show will be in Austin Texas again and Jason will be working out at The Onnit Academy and possibly going to the X Games, stay tuned for more information. I hope everyone has a great weekend, I know I will, throwin yer mums stanky legs into the air, OH!

 

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