It’s Wednesday and more people are having issues with the online app. Will even had a hiccup with it where it suddenly jumped back 5 minutes in time and replayed what he was just listening to. So it’s not just “you’re stupid, learn how to use it”, there are some issues with the player. Clearly. Stress balls stress Tully out, so I sent a bunch to the studio. Ellis read a post on this site once, I wish I knew which post it was so we could mark it with a golden seal or something. Remember the lesbian Ellis saw with pubic hair extensions? How could you forget? Apparently pubic hair only lives a couple weeks or something? That might explain why you see tons of pubic hair in the urinals at public restrooms. A woman has had more orgasms in 1 hour than a man. There you go women, you finally beat the man! FarmersOnly.com is full of shit man. You wanna fight to the death for glory? Excellent, the US Military will probably be interested in talking to you. Unless you’re old. Or too fat. Or gay. Or fat and gay. Or old, fat, and gay. But maybe those are exactly the people who should be fighting wars, people who really want to serve up some death. In comes a call from a listener who has killed people before, one with a god damned buck knife! Jamie Foxx is wanking on about his newest, most personable album yet and nobody cares.
The Queen of England, is she purely about toast with really good jam, tea, poo, and scones – in that order? Ellis thinks so. Tully would fuck her for his Irish heritage sakes, but not in a hateful way. Speaking of poop and fucking, Joanna Angel is in the studio, she brought in copies of the “Dude, Am I Slut?” porn. The movie could actually be in the AVN’s if everyone plays their cards right, or jerks off to it, or something like that. Actually, there’s nothing listener’s can do to help get this movie to win some kind of award, it’s totally up to the non-compromising, completely ethical, unflinchingly professional AVN Academia. So what’s a porn parody that hasn’t already been made? That’s the million dollar (or least $5) question for today. The guys had some porn parody titles written down, callers chimed in with some ideas, and Twitter put out too. Get it? Put out? HA! I kill you. It’s kind of like an impromptu World’s Greatest Wednesday, actually it was exactly like that, so that’s what we’ll call it.
Some lady had an app on her phone that her boss could control and use to spy on her, so he did. Speaking of that bit of news, here’s Will. With news. Will’s News, you might call it. SETI once (in 1977) detected a
HOLY SHIT WOW signal. 18 years previous to this event, somebody said if aliens were to contact us, it would be this signal, on this frequency, while I’m taking this particular dump, and I shit you not, years later, that’s the exact signal they received, just how they said. So 40 years later they were like, should be we send a signal back or what? There ya go. Will’s News delivering the hard hitting something or another since like, a couple months ago? North Korea has a radio show, and they said they have a long rocket with tiny nuclear balls on it and they’ll launch one right up someone’s hind end if they want. There was an oil spill in Santa Barbara that covers 9 miles, but hey, they it could’ve been worse so WHEW! Crisis averted there, am I right? Hash oil extraction is all the rage, now people are blowing themselves up – enter duh-duh-DUH! The war on hash oil! A 5 man fishing crew nearly set a record for catching a mako shark, but they didn’t set no record so that’s why it’s news. Miss Wolfknives 2015 is a thing, the contestants might be doing some tasks like giving Will a lap dance to see who gives him the biggest boner. HATEBEAK, the parrot fronted death metal band, is back with ‘Number of the Beak’. Ellis loved it. Not really though.