Hey it’s me again pulling a NYA double shift, not to be confused with yer mum pulling double shafts. Ellis said that some people can cure cancer with their brain and because he is a pseudo celebrity on a media platform broadcasting to literally hundreds of people at a time. You know what else is true? The Internet wears out jokes worse than the 80s wore out hair spray and acid washed jeans. Everyone posts the same stupid memes that the last hundred people posted. It was funny the first time, every time after that it just shows how lame everyone is. And staying with the subject of stuff, the Wolfknife brand might transition into the Moto world through One Industries. That’s actually pretty awesome. I don’t even ride moto and I think that would be cool, who wouldn’t want the one guy in all black to win against a rainbow of other riders. Dave Castillo is normal and awesome. Enough said. Urijah Faber posted on IG that he wants a rematch with Ellis and J said yes, so watch out for that on UFC 44736378 Fight Night! After talking about Urijah they rambled for a while and then Ellis started telling the story of how the dude staying with them was best friends with Stevie and what actually happened the night of the accident.
In Pussy News a German doctor developed the first surgically implanted vibrator. I’m surprised it wasn’t a device to make a person able to shit on their own chest. Everyone’s favorite game was played today, What’s On My Balls! But today it was played with a twist, the two contestants, Ellis and Kevin, had to answer questions involving numbers and whoever is closest doesn’t have to have bitey mealworms cover their man marbles. It was a close game and between the screams from Kevin as well as Jason I’d have to say the winner was the audience. Congrats to all!
There’s a new contender in the malformed baby farm animal contest! Coming to Pay Per View, the fight event of the century, the old man Antichrist baby sheep vs dick nosed pig baby!!!! Ellis and Tully talked a bit about UFC stuff and the upcoming fights. I didn’t pay attention but if you want to know more go to ufcstuff.chickfights.com.au/punchesindeface. Clam chowder and baguettes, boat wheelies, Kevin Andrew rap battle, gay undertones. Those are just some of the amazing things that happened that I’m not really going to write about. This weekend Kevin is going to Wondercon and what would be better than going as Fuck Bot 5000!?! Even though they probably won’t be able to pull this off in less than two days Kevin will still go around asking people questions in preparation for new games. But keep an eye out for Fuck Bot 5000 at Comicon, he might even fuck you. Fast and Furious 7 out this weekend. I bet it’ll be a smash! I’m dying to see it! I’m out of bad Paul Walker dying jokes. Wills news but (find pic of Ollie) I was too drunk to pay attention. Then they did Wolfknife names. (see previous sentence) And Final Calls, bag of wank, as usual. Thank god it’s Friday and my hangover will be well deserved.
“Oh Glorious Cock
In the morning, you are there to greet me. Strong and hard, demanding attention as I wake from slumber. You are a daily comfort, always the first thing I see, throbbing and pointing skyward wanting priase and worship.
In the evening you are with me, my own and others, stolen glances searching for Cock. My bond with my brothers is through Cock, fellow worshippers who greet me, sucking and slurping in the name of Priapus. My evening unwinds as I immerse myself in holy dick, the stress of the day giving to bliss of twilight.
Nighttime is when the presence of Cock is strongest. No matter myself or others, Lord Cock demands himself to be known, the pleasure of gripping and stroking and rubbing the last cares of the day away into mighty orgasms of cum. Bookending each day with hard cock, masturbating or sucking the way Priapus intended.
Make my day complete, Cock, as each day begins and ends with you.” Amen (These are making me extremely uncomfortable, and that’s funny)