Ellis is back after a long three day weekend. If you didn’t know he was out in Elsinore racing his ass off. He told us how he was a race car driver and he drove so goddamned fast. He never did win no checkered flag but he never did come in last. He said while he was a race car driver he’d say “El Sob number one” with a Bocephus sticker on his 442 he’d light ’em up just for fun. But his next race won’t be for a while though.
Have you ever wanted to talk to the inside of a girls vagina instead of the outside, you know, her face? Have you ever wanted to not just send your buddy a picture of your turd but want him to see the entire journey through your colon in real time? If you said yes then you are a sick fuck and the Sex Selfie Stick is for you! Kim Anami (@kimanami) is a sex ninja genital weight lifter and she visited the studio today. She teaches people to have stronger plugs and sockets for better sex and jizz. She works out by lifting things like coconuts, surfboards, small Mexican children, a 5 dollar foot long, drunken Irish midgets dressed as leprechauns, bitPimps, and a VW Beatle once. Dudes should do the towel trick, first with it dry, then damp, and finally wet and soon enough you’ll be able to do no handed push-ups and shoot ropes that’ll make your girl look like she was in a tragic Krispe-Kreme accident. According to Kim doing workouts with your kibbles n bits will give you better control, stamina, better orgasms, and more energized orgasms. Plus dudes will have a bigger stronger thicker man boners to pound out your ladies snootch. And that’s science.
D Free is a new device that you strap to abdomen and it will let you know when you need to take a shit. How it works is when your tumbly is rumbly it will alert you that your about to drop a log in your Dockers by playing the Diarrhea Cha Cha Cha song. Jim Lindberg of Pennywise also came in studio today but not to talk about picking up skateboards with his man kegals. He talked about working with Fletcher, their new album of original old shit, being a rock n roll dad and on the road, not getting his ass kicked by Fletcher, and he sang an acoustic song for us. It was awesome and if you didn’t hear it then nani nani boo boo Fletcher is gonna rape you! Check out Pennywisdom.com for their tour dates.
If you have love bumps and find it hard to find a date then send your info to submittoellis.com to be apart of their new game Herpe Hookup! Then they talked about the Soooge Knight video. He ran over dudes, case closed, moving on.
Remember the game History With Ellis and Dingo? Well today they played Australia edition and thankfully they did much better than normal and I didn’t get a single question right because I’m from Murica, FUCK YEAH! So how was your weekend? Was it awesome? Was it the best weekend ever? Well Dingo took Ozzie to the doctor this weekend so this means your weekend sucks. Just let that soak in for a minute, I’ll wait. Final calls time so here’s a recap of final calls in your recap, a retarded dude cheated on his wife while they were split up, a dude wanted advice on his kids Ronnie Rollback, why do white dudes act so gay when they’re drunk, Tony Hawk is my god Tony Hawk is my idol, and finally if you’re ready to date but your head is all fucked up take comfort in knowing that most of the other people out there are fucked up in the head too, except yer mum, she’s fucked in her head, her swamp clam, her turd whistler, and any other hole she can fit dicks into, OH!