Hello, fuck you and I’m sorry this recap is going to be dog shit. I’m on my phone, I’m in a shitty mood and could hardly be bothered to give a flying fuck today, and it’s not even Friday! Overachieving as always. So let’s get into it.
Tully says Pakistani lives don’t matter. No, he didn’t say that, but there was a pretty interesting conversation about how horribly tragic deaths on the other side of the globe don’t have the same effect on us as the ones that happen state-side. Ok, it wasn’t a hugely interesting conversation, more of a point that you don’t hear discussed very often. This segued nicely into how Bill Cosby allegedly probably ok yeah drugged and raped all of those bitches. Ahhh,TJES is fucking SEAMLESS. I don’t give a rat’s ass about Bill Cosby, Bing Crosby or BlingBling Cosplay, so let’s move on.
The man, the myth, the conduit to the spirit world, Corey Taylor called in to the show so that Ellis could kiss his rings and tell him how awesome he is. Seriously, if you haven’t heard more off of that new Slipknot album, it’s fucking amazing, and you should stop reading this to go listen to that. Then sacrifice a goat to BlingBling Cosplay in Slipknot’s name. On a serious note, Corey talked about how deeply personal the record is, with most of the subject matter centering on the band’s deceased member, Paul Gray. Corey is always a cool dude. he proved that when a homeless guy outside the studio was spraying down a stopped car’s windshield with a repurposed Windex bottle, and the debris hit the side of the studio and EVERY CALL IN CALIFORNIA WAS DROPPED. They had to call him back twice, and he answered both times, proving once again Corey Taylor isn’t God, because there isn’t one. Because he killed it.
After the break, I stopped giving a shit. There was a very delightful Worlds greatest Wednesday, “World’s Toughest Homosexual” here are your winners:
10. Elton John because he told Madonna she was a hag. But not his fag hag.
9. LL Cool J
8. Rob Halford, but just tell him he won because, he put all that effort into
his outfit.
7. Queen Latifah, seriously, have you seen Set It Off?
6. Toby Keith, because according to that one caller, he has sucked a truckload of dicks. And that whole boots in asses for America thing.
5. Brock Lesnar
4. Rosie O’Donnel
3. Gandalf the Grey(or white). I took exception to this one because Tully said Gandalf the Great.
2. Jefferey Dahmer
1. Andy Dick, the coke snorting, cocksmoking, camel spitting psychopath of Hollywood lore.
The guys recapped Die Hard(much better than I’m recapping their show) and it turns out Die Hard is full of closest homosexual undertones and Swedish people. Never cared for it. Anyway, this is where the train stops, shove it up your cunt.