Happy Wednesday everyone and welcome to the recap of what is now being called The Legal Fuck Show! What exactly does that mean? Who the fuck knows? Jason sure doesn’t and he’s the one who said it. In any case, they made Wilson come in and sing some stuff about the show thus far in the newest segment: Make Will sing stuff about the show. Oh and Will’s one man band is now called HateBean It totally pays off too because later in the show, The Jingleberries turned around some sweet fucking tunes that will be played on the show for weeks, so it’s best you know why. Now have I done my god damned job according to you? Remember Tyler Posey? Well MTV.Com posted a story about how TyPo is going to play Keytar for D!D!D! sometime in the near future. Efforts to reach TyPo were stifled by his management when no response was given to Mr. Teen Wolf. Typo seems like a cool dude but I wouldn’t be surprised if MTV didn’t want their heart throb centerpiece playing a shitty instrument on a song called “CuntKicker”
In Hollywood news….oh hold on a second….Dr. Drew and Mike Catherwood came on the show today. They discussed the usual kids and therapy and whatnot. I drifted in and out but then someone mentioned gay porn and I was glued to the speaker for the next hour. Apparently a kid in Florida was kicked out of school because he did some gay porn to help his family out with bills. Just how much does one get paid to do gay porn? According to the callers, Joanna Angel and Jetta, a gay porn can earn you anywhere from $500-$10,000 so feel free to gamble on your sweet ass. Supposedly gay for pay guys get paid more, and if you are a D list celebrity (Pauly Shore) you can get paid a lot of money for being a top in a gay porn.
Hollywood News, Madonna…Oh wait, hold on a second. They got derailed again. Would you date a porn star? Would it be too hard knowing she was getting plowed every day all day taking countless loads to the face, or would you be into it? I didn’t write much else down so you’re gonna have to fuck yourself.
Hollywood news at long last! Madonna says nigga either because she is cool and ahead of the curve or thinks she is ahead of the curve but is actually just offensive. I couldn’t give a shit about Madonna, all I know is she is a dried up old hag who is 98%vein. Quentin Tarantino’s next movie won’t be released because somebody leaked the script which is all kinds of awesome. He’s a weird dude though. Have their been a lot of super successful American Idol winners? Who cares? That show is ending after this year. Lemmy has stopped drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes, and is instead only drinking red wine and has slowed WAY down on his speed usage. Good for him.
Look, I know I didn’t do a great recap today, and I may have left some stuff out. But hey, fuck off. Look, I wrote almost 600 more words about this show than your fuckin ass. Fuck yourself. FUCKPKDFDJAFkillyourtvlkJFAJFOWQEFJ